Was I really "extremely" rude for acting this way?

Question

I have a 13 yr. old cousin that is visiting me from Russia for the first time. Today, I decided to take her out to dinner with some of my friends. We went late for happy hour. Less than an hour before we came, we ate a pretty big dinner. I told her," I don't know about you, but I'm too full for food, I'm just getting drinks." Not once throughout the evening did she mention she was hungry. She didn't even touch the bread on the table until i asked her a good FIVE times to try it. Also, I WALKED her away from the table to check out the dessert display and asked her if she wanted anything.

I come back home and my father tells me, "Did I not raise you right? I can't believe you didn't PERSIST to feed her. You're are not a well-refined person whatsover. It's too bad you don't see that."

Am I crazy or is he? I understand people are shy, but I'm pretty sure no one wants two dinners in a row. If they do, they say SOMETHING. Am I in the wrong here? Explain.

Answer 1

Yes...that was rude.  It is weird to be the only one eating.  You invited her to DINNER, and then you eat before you go>  I'm sure she didn't.  You could have atleast made her eat something....but it was just all around rude.

Answer 2

You do not take 13 year old girls into places where they have "Happy Hour"

Your father was correct in terms of making you feel guilty. That is what they are for.

In future, have a bar-b-que and permit cousin various  choices for menu and make an evening at home.

Make sure that pappa gets stuffed. He will love all of you

Answer 3

I think your in the wrong because you took her for dinner and only had drinks. If you were at a different dinner before then why do it again. I don't think you should have pushed anything on her!

Answer 4

I dont know. It was rude that you ate a big dinner and then went out to eat, expecting her to be the one one to eat. That's not only awkward for her, but its also weird to be the only one who is eating. Shes from Russia and isn't familiar. Next time, eat with her and experiment with her so she doesn't feel so left out. Its ok though, consider this a lesson learned!

Answer 5

You did nothing wrong!  Well, maybe you should have atleast eaten bread, to show her she wasn't the only one eating, but you offered her food, didn't you? Seriously, what are you supposed to do, shove it down her throat?!?!  You were pretty polite.  Your dad overreacted a bit, i think.  Plus, it's different in the states. People here just eat.  In Russia i'm sure they are more hesitant to stuff their faces when no one else is.

Answer 6

i dont think you were rude, well maybe a bit. you could have ate something small, just to make her feel like she wasnt the only one eatting. but who cares, its done and over with and you cant change it now.

Answer 7

You were a bit rude.

Answer 8

She is from Russia. You are in the States. These are two very different cultures. It sounds like you are simply not aware of the proper way to handle such situations. Your cousin was most likely uncomfortable and afraid to speak up. Consider it a lesson learned. Maybe you need to talk to your Dad about the best way to approach the situation in the future.

Answer 9

It sounds like a break down in communication, not rudeness x different cultures x