Was I too harsh on my daughter?

Question

My daughter is 2.5 years, today we reached a pinacle of naptime arguments.

She was so tired at naptime that she was sitting in the corner screaming, I put her to bed tucked her in and kissed her.

She stripped all the sheets off her bed, jumped in her bed, trashed her room, and flicked the light switches on and off for about 15 minutes.

Now I'm no pushover, and Lord knows I went into that girl and disciplined her, but she just decided today she wasn't going to listen. Eventually I told her to quit it or she was going to sleep in her stroller. I had to put her into her stroller and she got out and ran crazy around the room. So I told her she was staying in the stroller throughout her afternoon playtime. She was in there for over 2 hours altogether. I feel bad now but I just couldn't get through. Was I too harsh? Any other suggestions on how to handle a child like this?

Answer 1

thats why they are called the terrible two's....try swatting her on her bottom..... nothing abusive though

Answer 2

yeah you were too harsh remember she's only 2.5yrs old  where were you when she was trashing her room? How did she get out of her crib? You should have immediately stopped her but where were you?

Answer 3

I don't think you were to harsh on her.You might want to look at what she had to eat and drink that day.

Answer 4

I would not say you were too harsh...I think people do the best they can with what they have, which is why you are asking the question.

I would have nipped it earlier on. Even if it means you have to be in here room until she falls asleep.

I had a daughter liker her, and I let her get away with stuff because I was too tired...she is 17 now, and STILL doesn't take NO for an answer....except the stuff is bigger now.

My advice to you is to pick EVERY battle....don't let her run around her room and trash it...you stay in there....she isn't the boss, and shouldn't get away with ever THAT behavior.

That is the best advice I have for you.

PICK EVERY BATTLE WHILE SHE IS YOUNG!!! This way, when she is older, she will already know that when you say NO, or to do something, that YOU MEAN IT!!!

If I could parent all over again, I would do this.

My kids are 21 and 17.

Answer 5

yeah a little harsh but sometimes we all make bad decisions when under pressure. At least you followed thru with a threat though. I would leave her in her room and only go in if she is putting herself in danger. if you do need to go in just be calm (i know its hard) but simply say "Its time for sleep" put her back in her bed and leave. As much as its a pain in the butt you can always tidy her room later. She will eventually go to sleep if she is really tired. My 2 and a half year old has started to drop her daytime nap- could this be the beginning of yours wanting to drop it too? If she bucks up when i go to put her down i give her a few books to read and tell her that if she doesnt want to sleep that she is to have quiet time. This seems to work. Goodluck.

Answer 6

cutiepie: why would a 2.5 yrs be in a cot? mine are out of a cot by 15 months.

i use the naughty step as punishment if she gets up off the step, it starts over. 1 minute for every yr of their life. get her to say sorry nicely u tell her why she was put there and do not harrass her all arvo about her punishment

THEN get her help clean up her trashed room. and then start the process of ok i said nap time now do it.

it worked for me for my children plus im a nanny with over 12 yrs experience

Answer 7

I really think everyones situation is different. EVERY parent does something that they either regret or question was right. There is no such thing as a perfect parent and although this was a bit lenghy, I think that if you were at the end of your rope, this was better than completely losing control. Dont sweat over it, its over now and children are very forgiving. :)

Answer 8

Yeah, you were too harsh on her. You should ask her why she behave that way, and tell her a good reason why you cant fill what she want. 2,5 year old daughter is already understand reasons and consequences.

Answer 9

yes way too harsh... a 2.5 year old should NEVER be in time out for more than the minutes equivalent to their age.

I know what it's like, I have a 2.5 year old... it's very hard. If she kept doing that... I would keep going in there, laying her down... just repeatively. until she fell asleep. What helps my daughter take a nap is when i read a couple of short books to her... she picks them out and loves it!!

Answer 10

yes! she's two

Answer 11

well im not a mother

but i dont think you were to harsh at all. when i was that age and i didnt want to listen my mom would back me in a corner take out the big rack of belts and use 2-3 belts on me at once so compared to her you were a saint. and it was just for playtime

but you did what you thought was right

hope that helps

Answer 12

cutiepie---do you stay in the room while your kids are sleeping?  If her daughter has always gone to nap nicely then there was no need for her to feel the need to stay in her bedroom.  Most parents put there child down for nap or bedtime, and after a story or something, they leave the room.  If you have time to stay in your child's room whenever they are sleeping, you must b like amazing or somehting-most people need that time to clean or rest.  naptime is not much different from them sleeping at night---you don't stay with them the whole time and at 2.5 they usually fall asleep on their own so you don't need to be there until they fall asleep.

now for the question at hand- I do think 2 hours in the stroller was a little harsh.  Maybe try taking away a favorite toy or something, and I agree with the others that said one minute of timeout per year of age.  two hours to your daughter feels like a lot longer then it really is.  Also if you put her in her stroller for timeouts, then when it is time to go somewhere where she needs to b in her stroller she will not want to b in there.  if this continues, you may want to have a sticker chart where every time she naps well with out behavior problems she get a sticker and when she gets a certain number she gets a reward, it could be a toy, trip to ice cream, movie during nap time one day, something she will really look forward to getting.  Good luck, hopefully she can stop her behavioral problems soon.  If your a a stay at home mom, you may want to consider a day off, maybe there is a high schooler or college kid that could come sit for a day every week or 2 to give you a break.

Answer 13

u weren't that harsh but what i would do is i would pick her up and sit her down on the floor in another room and say "u were put in a time out because u were not going to sleep and u were making a mess". Then leave keep her in it for at least 2.5 minutes, if she gets up don't talk to her and sit her right back down where she was b4 if she talks or gets up start the time over. Keep putting her back until she sits there quietly and doesn't get up Then when her time is up go in there and say "u were put in a time out because u were not going to sleep and u made a mess". Then say "do u understand" and if she says no then leave and come back in a little while and say u were put in a time out because.............. do u understand? but if she says yes then say "u need to say sorry" if she doesn't leave and come back and say u were put in a time out because.......do u understand..... please say sorry to me. Then after that give her a hug and put her to bed. if she doesn't go to sleep do this whole thing over again. It may take a while but eventually she will learn her lesson and go to sleep.

    Hope i helped and good luck!!