Was I wrong for going to college instead of raising my daughter??

Question

I decided to go to school instead of raising my daughter. I have one more year of college left and I decided to allow her gaurdian to keep her one more year instead of me taking her. was I wrong. Should i have decided to raise her instead of finishing school first. I must admit part of the reason was because I wanted to party and hook up too but that's all part of the senior year experience in school.

Answer 1

You put partying and "hooking" Up over your child...h**l yest that was wrong.  You CHOSE to have s*x which resulted in a pregnancy, obviously you weren't mature enough to make that decision.  Frankly if you were the guardian asking for advice I'd tell the guardian to go to court asking for permanent custody of the child since you obviously aren't fit to be a parent.  Your days of partying and hooking up ended when the pregnancy test came out positive.

Answer 2

No by completing your college education you will be able to provide her a better future.  Feel good about your decision.

Answer 3

well, are you over that partying thing now, when you finish will you be ready to dedicate yourself to your daughter, she won't be grown, you'll have lots of time with her...the rest of your life and if it's enabled you to give her a better life and the gaurdian was a good person who cared, loved and watched over her...I'd say you make a good choice, you were honest about it, that counts for a h**l of a lot.

Answer 4

no you did the perfect thing because in the long run  shell be thankfull. but dont forget to call her, visit her, take her places.

Answer 5

The last part of this was a little selfish. You should have thought about that before you had a child, but I do not think it is a bad thing that you wanted to finish school because in the long run it will make y'alls life easier. I just hope when you were "hooking up" that you were careful and didn't get yourself in the same situation again.

Answer 6

You accually helped her. You now have a better ecucation so you can raise her better.

Answer 7

well...having a kid and school is really difficult. but you must think of the long term effect of your decision. surely, education is good for you and your future and will also be good that you will be able to provide for you kid. but you sad part there is your kid wont be as close as she should be to her mother. but if you stayed and raised your kid, you will have a good relationship with you child, and perhaps may decide to go to college when you're ready...

Answer 8

You haven't blown it yet..

Forget that party c**p, you've got a daughter. Do you at least spend a lot of time looking after her when your not in school or studying . The idea of you going to school is smart. It's your future you are trying to develop here and your daughter should be your main focus. You party friends are going to be long

gone and your daughter is the one who's looking for you.

Stop being selfish. Keep going with school, keep seeing your daughter as much as you can.

That's just getting me warmed up here..

I hope you rethink your situation, and fast.

I wish you both the best of luck....

Answer 9

h**l yer mutha l****r! family goes before everything! even God! lol especislly your children!

Answer 10

You were wrong only if you were not bothered, of her.

If you think in party you could not enjoy as before this mean you were Right, Else you were wrong & you need to get closer to the angel.

The point is not if you are with her all the time – Point is do you care or not!!

Answer 11

Actually what u r doing is somehow right..... Completing ur schooling might help u later and thus might help your baby

Answer 12

Yes she's going to come to you one day and wonder why you two have the relationship that you have with her and why you weren't there for her. These things leave scars whether you realize it or not.

Answer 13

I don't think so...  It's probably best that she had guidance during the time you were going through your partying stage, but I hope that [at least] you have a lot of quality time with her.

Answer 14

i think that going to college was a clever thing to do but having a child is a responsibility and you have to give up things like 'partying' etc. I dont agree with that at all. She is the main (should be) priority in your life, not the sterotypical view of partying in senior year

Answer 15

In the long run its more important to finish college so that you can provide for her the best that you can with that degree.

Although, that doesn't mean you can't visit her a lot. Being with your daughter should be more important then finding time to go to party's and hooking up with girls.

Remember its all about PRIORITIZES

Answer 16

Yes, you were wrong. If I was your daughter I would never talk to you again. Because my mom gave up her job for me. And that's what a parent's supposed to do. Would you sell her if you got a job being like a rockstar or professional football player playing in the NFL?? I think you would. so just go back to your daughter before she actully thinks bad of you.

Answer 17

Maybe your ready to settle down now and be a responsible parent.  You will be able to financially take care of her now with your degree, and hopefully you have finished sowing your wild oats.  Good luck to you.

Answer 18

if you didn't get your degree, you wouldnt be able to provide as well in the future. It was the right decision.

Answer 19

If your question is real, then yes, you were wrong (the answer is still yes if the question is fake).  There's no rule that says you can't be a parent AND a college student.  Plenty of people do it every day.  Being a parent means being selfless and doing what's best for your child.  Choosing to leave your child in someone else's care while you live it up in college is NOT what's best for your child.  Just because you MAY be more financially stable because you went to college (I say may because the question mark has eluded you despite 4 years of college) doesn't mean you should have left your daughter to be raised by someone else.

Answer 20

anything that happens with your daughter now. will be priceless. and you will miss out on all of it. no one can judge if its right or wrong. but think of al teh things your missing out on. yeah you might get some S****y girls and hook up. but at teh end of the day that child is the one whos gonna take care of you when your older. shes the one thats gonna care for you the same way you did when she was a kid. are you taking good care of her?

also you might fool around now. but theres always consequences. the least being STDs or a stalker. try staying with one girl. and introduce her to your daughter life. that way you hook up and your in your daughters life. if you want random s*x everywhere. then go down the path your going.

Answer 21

I dont think so because later on you'll be able to raise her probably better than before!

Answer 22

well obviously school is important but you should have rised her and went to school  you should have cut out the parting becuase the first year is when your child learns so much  its honestly one of the greatest times. You could hve been there but you choose not to so you shouldnt beat yourself up about it  just leave it in the past and learn from it

Answer 23

You werent wrong if you intend on spending time with her when you get breaks....a college education can help you go far sometimes so that you can provide a better future for her.....where's her mother?

Answer 24

Its not that its wrong to go to college, i just don't see the why you couldn't do both, oh wait it's cus you wanted to party. Well sure i guess she can just wait to grow up until you decide your ready. You know, its possible to go to college and raise a dgtr, i did it, she was 2 years old. Things were hard, but i did it, but i couldn't have done it while i was drunk.

Answer 25

Hmmm. Well getting a better education- Great for you..that is a good thing. Bailing out on your kid so you can party? Not a good thing. You can go to school and raise your daughter,too. Many people have done it and many more will do it.

Answer 26

Only time will tell if you were wrong.  For some parents it is difficult to reconnect with kids after a long-term absence.  I think the best option would have been to go to school and raise her.  You could have pursued your education and also been there for her.  You did not need to party.

Answer 27

No. You did the right thing.

You increased the chances of earning a better living, which will provide her with a better quality of life.

Anyway, as a single parent (?) you would have to work and your child would have to be in some day-care arrangement anyway, so why not let her remain in her present stable situation. Unless there is a problem for her in the home where she lives?

But the telling part is in your last sentence. You are not emotionally ready to be a full-time parent and you would resent the time and work a child takes up.  So play and leave her care to those ready to give it to her.

Answer 28

personally, i dont think you should have brang a child into this world, and then left her to somone else to rais, while you go and finish your own things. the child will never look at you as a proper mother, maybe it would be best to leave the child with the guardian. But also by the sounds of things you had a child at a young age if your in college, in some ways you did do the right thing, as there no doubt you wil bennefit your children in the future if you want them that is by you haveing good education and a well paid job. But i guess many different people will think different things, Just dont look back in regret. Its something that would be almost impossilbe to decide.

Answer 29

You could have done both, I know people that work full time jobs, go to school full time, and support a child. School is important, and it is very commendable that you pursued higher education even with a child, but don't neglect your parental responsibilities because you want to party. You are a senior in college, an adult. Grow up, take responsibility for your actions. It takes sacrifice, but you can manage raising a child and going to school at the same time.

Answer 30

Well, just know this, after college: the partying MUST end, so get it out of your system this one lat year.

But also, with a college education, you'll be able to support your daughter more! How old is she? Do you still see her sometimes? If you don't see her now, arange to see her. Let her know in a year you'll be with her again.

You did the right thing. Just remember after college, the partying HAS to end.

Answer 31

You lame *** I thought you were going to say something noble like I am doing to to provide a better future for my daughter but all you care about is the party life. You are pathetic (at least your mindset) but at least you'll have your degree which in turn will benefit your daughter. So you were right for going to college I just wish she was your number one reason for focus rather than partying