Was I wrong or Was it a case of sexual harassment?

Question

Three years ago, I had emotional affair with a married man when I worked for his family as a live-in nanny. I didn't do anything inappropriate even though I in love with him. It was all about him. He was smitten which putting me in an extremely awkward situation. Non-stop talking about me, teasing, and flirting, even in front of his wife. His wife knew about it but never said anything. However, it did bother me when he did those ridiculous things.

It seemed like they had some kind of agreement. As long as the man didn't hide from his wife, it was not cheating and acceptable. Instead of discipline the husband, the wife watched me like hawk. The way I was treated as if I was their slave. My feeling and my rights seemed didn't exist to them. I felt like a piece of meat. Finally, I left.

After I left, I became depressed. It was the unfinished business feeling got into me. I thouth I should talk to that man, clear thing out and had a closure, so I could make peace with him and with myself. The result, the man called his wife while I was talking to him. His wife rushed over and screamed at me in public until he started screaming at me, and said "it's over! If you come back again I'll call the police".

And that's not enough; they did call the police accusing me for harassment. Was I so wrong and deserved it, or I was just bad luck to meet odd couples like them? If my closure talk with him was harassment, does that mean his flirting and teasing can be count as sexual harassment?

Answer 1

Was it Rob Lowe?  If so, I think a judge already dismissed your case.

Answer 2

it was harassment.

Answer 3

trying to talk to someone once is not harassment. What he did to you while you worked there was sexual harassment. I don't know the statue of limitation on sexual harassment, but if they try to come after you, get a lawyer and sue them back.

he and his wife....wow....pray for them, they have many many problems

Answer 4

You do not have any witnesses to the harassment, it is your word against the man's. Your case is very weak and you'll lose.

Just take it as a learning experience, you should not have stayed as long as you did.

Answer 5

no. you did not correct his behavior, but played along with it. He is a creep, but it is only sexual harassment if you tell him to stop because he is inappropriate. Just leave them alone to fix their family.

Answer 6

People will disagree with me but I feel you were wrong.  You could have stopped his inappropriate behavior (if it was even that since your description is poor of what exactly went on).  

You could have left at any time.  You did not receive any extra benefit by staying.  It was not sexual harassment according to the law.

Perhaps you have problems that you brought to the table and should see professional help.

Answer 7

It depends on what was said.  The problem is that you can probably not prove any of it, as the wife will certainly not testify against her husband, and from what you said, she is the only witness.

You should have set them straight the first time you felt uncomfortable.  Then if they had fired you for that, you might have had a case.  You continued to allow it to happen for 3 years, making it appear that you were not offended by it.

Answer 8

search new true friend

Answer 9

your just unlucky

you cant win this case so the best thing to do is let it go and move on with your life

but they do sound like crazy people