Was I wrong to do this?

Question

Ok, here is the situation. My husband was in a wedding this weekend for one of his nephews (nephew is 27, husband is 33.) ok, here is the thing. After the ceremony, I walk out of the church to see a party bus! Whoo hoo is what I thought, party time on the bus! Well, I asked the wives of the other groomsmen (groomsmen were all married, all the bridesmaids were single) if they were going on the bus. They didn 't know if we were invited. Well, I said, the bus holds 31 people. There were 14 in the wedding party. My husband is in the wedding party so I am invited. Plus this girl is my new neice. So, I get on the bus...Well this is when the problem starts. My wonderful new neice stared me down like I was the devil. She didn't want me on the bus. hummmm....Well here were my thoughts...I traveled to be there, spent 2 nights in a hotel. Left daughter with a babysitter for two days. Kenneled my dogs, spent about $1000.00 on this wedding (between hotel rooms, gas, gifts, tux rental, food) I was going on the bus. They were going for a two hour bar hop. I was not about to leave my husband with all single bridesmaids and go sit in the hotel for two hours alone (I just have a level of expections for married men, not just mine. I don't believe it is appropriate bahavior to be out drinking with a bunch of women without your wife. But, honestly, that was not the issue. I wanted to have fun too)

So come to find out that she didn't want the wives on the bus and is now upset with us. I feel that there should have been no reason we couldn't go. WE are family, we came to celebrate with them. It is not like I was just a stranger hopping on a party bus. So we are not getting off to a good start. I know it was the brides day, but do you think that she went to far? Or am I being completely stupid?

What my husband thought- My husband was also very angry. He knew how much time and effort we had put into being there for him. He told the goom that if I wanted to go on the bus, I was going...otherwise he would hang with me.

About the insecurity with my hubby. I trust him with all my heart believe it or not. I know he would not do anything with anyone but me. The thing I don't like is when girls, that are young , not married , and don't understand the whole marrige thing make inappropriate actions with a married man. That is what I don't like. I don't worry about, I just hate it!

Answer 1

I heard of wedding crashers but never the bride>You were correct what was her motive & plans to do with your HB & the singles>???

Answer 2

Next time stay at home with the kids where you belong and there won't be any problems

Answer 3

I don't see anything wrong with what you did and your husband was right in defending you. I don't understand why your niece was so upset and can only think that since she's a newly married woman, she may not understand how a married woman feels having her husband surrounded by single girls and alcohol.  Giver her some time, she'll get it eventually.

Answer 4

your niece needs to get a life. sit down and talk with her about how she was rude, she could just be  really stupid and not realized why you insisted on going on the bus (the money you put it). To answer your question, you didn't do anything wrong.

Answer 5

I don't think there is anything wrong with your reaction, and I'm glad your husband agreed with you! Nothing about the way you acted seems overly jealous or insecure at all. I don't think it's appropriate for unmarried women to go out with a bunch of married men bar-hopping when wives aren't invited either, that just seems silly to me. I understand I suppose that she only wanted members of the wedding party to go - but if there was room on the bus, and they weren't buying the drinks for everyone, I don't see what the problem is with the wives attending as well. Her attitude should have been more of "the more the merrier!" She should have been happy for the opportunity to meet more of her new family.

Also, this wasn't just any party - this was a wedding celebration! Perhaps the longer she is married, the more she will understand about what is and is not appropriate behavior for married couples. Honestly, if she continues to expect that married men should be allowed to go out drinking with single women all the time, she may find herself in a nasty and painful situation in the future.

Answer 6

To have a party bus for the wedding party to go party in is cool; however, I think that as the wife of a groomsmen you had every right to want to go. The same being if any of the bridesmaids were married and their husband wanted to go.  A wedding is all about the celebration and having fun - the more the merrier - so why not let people go ????   If I was the bride I would never think of telling someone their spouse couldn't go - HELLO, you are now married - do you want someone telling you, you can't go ???

Answer 7

first off KUDOS to your husband ! that was the reaction a good husband would have ,  except i would have said ok have a nice life , thanks for treating the wifes that way , but i dont think the wifes are gonna go for you trying to have dates for all these bridesmaids lol , as far as the neice , i think she would have been a lil more angry when i was done if it were me , you have no reason to even doubt your reactions , you were completly right ,

Answer 8

you are soooo right...my husband doesnt get that either..but you had a right to be that way i would have been so pissed if i spend all that money and put time and effort into that wedding and her go and act like a *****..you had all the right in the world...and good for you for standing up for yourself

Answer 9

She's the one who's lost her mind!!!  If she wanted such an exclusive joy ride, she should've done this prior to the actual wedding, as a private event. I'd be pissed too, shes an idiot.

Answer 10

I think your new niece is a snooty, ungrateful bltch. Limit the amount of time you spend with her until she grows up.

Sheesh...some people, huh?

Answer 11

No you were right in all your actions, and so was your husband, your new neice sounds like a b*tch. she has got some growing up to do, and if the nephew cannot understand that, then he has some growing up to do as well.

Sounds like the new neice was trying to create problems with the already "married" couples in the wedding party, why would she not want you there??

Answer 12

I agree with you completely about the young, single girls.  

I probably would have done the same thing.  I mean, if there was room on the bus, it doesn't make any sense to refuse for the wives to come along.  

Answer 13

i would have done the same thing, she should have known that the wives want to be with their husbands, and i sure wouldn't go back to the hotel and sit while they were out on the town

Answer 14

O MY GOD LADY, I AGREE with you 100%. I trust my husband, it's the girls i dont trust!!!! yeah it takes two to tango, but only 1 person starts it. what an immature brat your new niece is, your nephew should have said somehting. that is totally ABSURD that she didnt want wives on the bus, what was she gonna give a show or something?????? weird, something was up in HER mind!!!

Answer 15

There really is no right answer here. It could be possible that the new bride wanted to be the only bride (however recent her vows may have been) partying on the bus that night.  

Answer 16

It's too bad your husband didn't respect you enough not to go on the bus in the first place, if you couldn't go. As soon as he found out that you couldn't go, he should have stepped off the bus. Period.

As for you forcing the issue, how would you feel if some idiot had done the same thing at YOUR wedding?  

Answer 17

Yeah, you were wrong.

All the plans and arrangements were for the Bride and Groom.

Their special thank you to the people on the party bus was for the special people they wanted to thank.

Your husband could of made the request to include you, but the way you did it was wrong.

Answer 18

You new niece sounds like a b-tch. You have every right to have went in that party bus. I would have done the same thing. She sounds like a control freak, good luck with her in the future.  

Answer 19

Any invitation that does not implicitly include a person's spouse is rude. She was bitchy for trying to snub the wives of the groomsmen and you were right to go with your husband and he was right to stand up for you. I wonder how SHE would feel if someone invited her hubby to hang out with a bunch of single girls and didn't invite her!

Answer 20

I agree fully with you.  It was stupid of the bride to think that people wouldn't want their spouse or significant other to be included in such an activity.  No self respecting man is going to go on the party bus without his wife.  It would be disrespectful and it wouldn't be any fun.

Answer 21

s***w her, you had every right to go with your husband

Answer 22

That's nice ruin her day how would you like it if some btch ruined your wedding day.

Answer 23

Bride is a selfish, inconsiderate b***h.

What's with some of these morons that get married?  No respect whatsoever for anyone.

I agree with you completely.  I would of been PISSED off.  

I wonder how that BRIDE will feel after she has been married awhile, for some stupid r****d bride to do the same to her.

I do agree also with what you say in regards to these younger women.  They have zero clue about commitment anyway.  I can't even imagine having a "party bus" on my husband and my most sacred day.....I mean come on now....that is just childish, anyway!

Answer 24

Well i dont think it's right if you invited yourself. I understand that your husband was upset too, but you weren't part of the bridal party, maybe there was only enough alcohol for 14 people and they got such a big bus so there was room for moving around.

My husband was just in a wedding where there was a bus and I didn't go on, I was actually glad to have some time for myself between the wedding and the reception. Everyone is different. Next time tell your husband to not be in a wedding without you. To me, and I know that you said you're not worried, but it just portrays insecurity.  

Answer 25

You were absolutely right honey.  i would of done the same as would of my bf.  He would not go cruising around with single women and go bar hopping without me.  In our we see eye to eye about these things.  She was wrong.

Answer 26

You had all the right to be upset. I would be too. What she did was very disrespectful!! She acted very immature.... You had all the right to go with your husband. Who separated the wife and the hudband and takes em to a party with all the single women? Very immature!! Do not let her get away with stuff like that, as i see she will try to do a lot of things like that in the future as well. Good luck with her! And do not let her start walking all over you....

Answer 27

Your niece and your hubby need to grow up.