Was I wrong to expect a bit more accommodation from this person?...?

Question

I want to start the ball rolling concerning hospice possibilities for my sister who is slowly dying of congestive heart failure(and possibly now going into kidney failure).Made a couple of phone calls last week, the day after my Dad was diagnosed with cancer.(It's been a horrible summer. :( )I had the social worker call me today to set up a time to meet with my family-parents, oldest sister, and oldest niece.We all want to be in on it.(Brother is in FL, unfortunately, so he cannot be a physical part of this.)I explained to the social worker that mornings are not feasable, my parents sometime go to bed at 2-3AM(after turning my sister for the night), and they need their sleep.She then asks me how next Monday MORNING is.I then told her that my niece works til 5PM, she can be at the house at 5:15 or so.The soc wrkr automatically said "I can't do that."I felt pressured to make the appt for next Monday at 11:00, that was good for HER.I'm the only one who can make it.Am I expecting too much?

Answer 1

First, I am very sorry for the very difficult time you are facing.  Your circumstances are such that the normal nine to five just isn't going to work for you, so I recommend you find a social worker who can.  This one doesn't sound very helpful, or caring.

Answer 2

no she should have been nicer but remember that they do sometimes distence themselfs form people to get there job done with out being affected emotionally themselfs... but she really should be more forgiving and kind to ur needs

also she may be completely busy and that was the most reasonable and early appointment for her schedual... it may have been weeks if she couldnt fit u in that morning

but really she should have been nice and at least given u reasoning for her needing that time not forcing it on u

Answer 3

Hospice nurse is social worker's boss, sort of, so contact head nurse in charge of case about schedule and any other  questions first. Recent experience with hospice during challenging circumstances went  as well as such things can. Stay strong

Answer 4

You are definitely not expecting too much. I am so sorry to hear about the troubles your family is going through. But Health Care Providers are there to provide a service to YOU, not the other way around. If the person you have now refuses to meet on the schedule that is available for you, you might consider finding a new person. I understand that dealing with the beaurocracy is frustrating, especially when time is so precious, but they should understand that there are only certain times that work for all of you, and they should be more than willing to accommadate that time frame. If not, they need to be replaced. If they are being that difficult about something like time, who knows how difficult they will be when things get even more difficult. Best wishes to you all!

Answer 5

I would request a different social worker who has a more accommodating schedule.  Nothing against the current one, but you need to speak for your family right now and do what is most convenient for all of you.  This is a big decision to make and everyone needs to be able to be well rested and on their game to do this.  

This is not an easy time.  There are four adult children in my family who went through this with our mother and scheduling is a difficult thing to coordinate. I feel for you and my heart and prayers go out to all of you.

Answer 6

Social workers are there to help you, so this is a problem. Yes they have busy lives but as far as it goes they have to work around your schedule. You need to go to her superior and let him/her know and get a new worker.

Answer 7

You should never expect much from the government nor her officers.

Answer 8

Yes you are. This is an important meeting and if you try to arange it around everyones schedule it will never happen.Everyone or someone is going to have to compromise. I am so sorry that you and your family are going through such a difficult time.

Answer 9

While you are under a lot of stress & part of her job is to help you deal with all of that...  She's only human, too, with a life, family & responsibilities of her own.  

Does she have a co-worker or associate who might be able to help you at a different time of day?  Is there a time that you can all come up with that works for the majority of the people involved, if you can't work it out for everyone?

Answer 10

You must have a totally different hospice that we have in my city.  In my city hospice is generally a very positive experience.  My father required hospital when he was dying from Lou Gehrig's Disease.  I would firmly explain how you feel to the hospice worker.  If she still doesn't understand, something is wrong with her.  Call and request a different case worker.

Answer 11

I don't think you're asking too much.  Ask her to make you the latest appointment on Monday (or whatever day).

I'm very sorry for all you're going through.

Answer 12

You can't expect someone to work outside their normal working hours just to accommodate you, even though you are going through a terribly difficult time right now.  I suggest requesting a social working who isn't as worried about punching her card right at 5 pm, and finding someone more flexible, and sympathetic.

Answer 13

I hear your pain.

I took care of a friend having him placed into hospice and the Social Worker was nice right up to the time i signed the papers and then it was like a Jekyll and Hyde.  Split personality

It is just a job to them i am sad to say

Good Luck

RdA

Answer 14

This would be a call you have to make. Which is a tough one. Your parents need their rest and the rest of the family is busy but you dont want to over extend yourself. Your playing emotional vollyball which is hard. I say do what you feel you need to do. But keep in mind they are working for you and need to accomindate you. Make the choice because you want too.

Answer 15

Wow - I sure am sorry there is so much on your family's plate, I truly feel for all of you. But about your question, sadly it is unreasonable to expect an appointment outside of the offices set hours---- this is an intake type of appt I am assuming and Social Workers do have set office/work hours. Not saying that it is impossible, just unlikely. Maybe you could call the main office mgr and explain your dilemma and ask if a different caseworker would be able to better accommodate your needs for this initial appointment? Ask what the latest possible appointment time is that the office can offer and see what they offer. Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 16

Alot of people will disagree with me, but as a social worker she works with people in simular situations constantly.  There are other families going thru many of the same things and she can't accommodate everyone around their schedules.  It's not fair and I agree it's wrong.

Answer 17

No, you are not expecting too uch.  Change the appt., you need to be an advocate for your family right now.