Was It The Right Thing To Do With One Of My Mate's???

Question

I have a couple of best mate's it's not as if i could chose a best onen.Two of them i have known for a while now and the other three i have known for quite a long time now.Anyway us 6 were always together, always there for each other , even if we have a little break up were basically friends again the next day! So none of that matters BUT yes, this is a BIG but, me and one of my friends are not acting right together.She is the one that started dancing about 1 year and half ago and changed completely. This girl has made such a difference to her self just by going dancing. I have msn and so does she and over the summer holidays we all have been contacting each other.Of course she has other friends from dancing and she gave me one friends email address and told me to add her. When i did , we didn't seem to get a long very well so i quickly blocked her.She was a year older than me and i just didn't seem comfortable talking to her because i have never met and stuff.

Me and my friend have also had a bit of a rocky relationship lately to be honest , she's getting to the point where she is really really hurting me.Not long ago , I logged on and my friend said she was talking to her mate ( which i had an argument with ) and i said ok. What else would i say? But then my mate said that her mate said that i was horrible , mean and other things . But i replied that i thought our argument was over , finished and done with. But no no no , not to her she kept on replieing horrible things to me . To be fair i did reply back some little comments but not much.Then it just really hit me that i had to cry. Funnily enough i had had a really tough day and to top it all off with that agrument i had to cry. As soon as the tears came falling i kept on typing to my mate saying things like :

" i'll have to ring you , pick up the phone plz plz " constently until she picked up.When she did she thought i was laughing so i hung up.

But then she rang back and i told her to tell her nasty mate to say sorry and forget it.In the end she did , i said to my mate thank you for everything even though she didn't do much . I just felt awful.Anyway the next day , it says on her msn :

" Me and Kelby best mates eva i love ya bbz"

(kelby is her horrible mate)

She kept on rubbing it in that her and Kelby were best mates , at one point she was saying that i will have to stop saying things while she rings kelby.!!!! I needed to tell her to stop it.

I'm so not scared to have an opinion so i came clean and said to my mate that i have something on my chest and i need to let it free to you.

She agreed to let me say.So i told her to stop it . She said that they

have so much in common and things and that really ticked me off so it got into a big argument in the end. At the end of the argument i said

"Your not exactly a mate are you? , well if that's the case your just a little girl who i know by being in my class.... Iv'e got pleanty of other friends so ..... bye"

I WAS PROPER SERIOUS

Her reply was bye , after that i blocked her.

This is were you come in . I need you to answer these questions:

Shall i stay away?

Was it the right desion?

If she rings, she will be all nicey nicey , how do i get her to understand were through?

How can i breakk the news to my mates?

XxThanksxX

P.S this is my aunties acount , i can't spare the time to make a new acount ( sorry ) . Im only here tonight and i need to get this off my chest tonight.

xxxx

Answer 1

I had a similar problem with a mate, and I tried the whole dramatic gesture thing- it doesn't usually work, you just feel guilty and your other friends are more likely to take her side.

My advice is to stay friends, but not to be as close.

Like, block her on MSN, only txt or talk on the phone when she contacts you, and don't have any in-depth discussions. You've tried talking to her about it, and she's not listening, but don't attempt to dramatically severe the friendship. Just take a step back, and only hang out with her when your in a group, and then stick to your nicer mates.

With me, I did all this stuff and my friend and me just naturally grew apart- nobody places blame or has to take sides or anything. That's the more effective way to go about it.

Answer 2

I thought id answer your question but then i saw what i had to read.Come on some novels are shorter.

Answer 3

Hi,

Well to be honest ...

You have to understand that your friend will have other friends just like you will and you shouldn't stop talking to her just because she has a friend that you don't like too much.

How would you feel if she dumped you just because you had a friend who she didn't like?

It seems to me that you both have matured and your friendship isn't as close as it once was.

You can still be civil with her when you see her, like 'Hi' but you don't need to tell her all your intimate stuff.

Make sure that your other friends don't get dragged into this. Remember this is between you and her and it not fair to make your friends feel they have to take sides.

For time being stay away from her as you both hot-headed from the argument and need to calm down a bit.

Once you calm it will be a lot easier to speak calmly and discuss all  this with her.

Lx