Was everything "perfect" when you had a baby?

Question

Just want to know some of your stories out there.

My husband and I are really wanting to have a baby soon. We have thought about this now for a while, and I always knew that I wanted to have a baby young. Im about 21 now, and my husband is 23. We have been together for almost 6 years, and married for over 2.

The thing is that he is in the airforce right now. He has a little less than two years until he gets out. When he gets out we plan on moving back to our home state and being closer to family. He already has a few jobs he is interested in, and will start applying next year. He will also have an associates degree.

Im still working on school, but will be done soon. I also am working for a mortgage broker for now, so it's not like I do not have anything backing me up. We own a home, but will sell it before we move of course. We have gone out and done so much together, and actually want to wait to have fun vacations until we have kids.

Everything we do now involves kids anyway..like going to the beach, disneyworld, busch gardens, the mall, out to eat...thats what we do. Plus, when we move back my mom said she wants to watch the baby every weekend. I don't know if I would do that to her every weekend, but maybe once a month so hubby and I can go to a movie or something.

What do you think?

Do you think we would be stupid to have a baby then move a few months later? The move would really be for the best because he is parting from the military, so the birth will be covered by insurance. Also, after I sell my home I will use some of the money to purchase some insurance for myself and the baby if my husband has to go a couple months without it at a new job?

What do you think?

Is this a good enough plan to have a baby?

Or do you think we are too young and rushing it?

20 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.

Answer 1

Nothing is ever perfect. I have been with my husband since I was 17, we are now 26 with two kids. I have a 4 1/2 year old & a 8 month old. Adding kids in, adds in a LOT of stress.

Just from my stand point.... I wish I would have waited a little longer. We had our first when I was 22 ( preg. 21 ).  I think enjoying each others company for a few years by yourself, married is a great idea. Especially when you are young. Once you have kids you will for the rest of your life have responsibility's, big ones at that.

Good luck.  

Answer 2

If you are waiting for the perfect time to have a baby you will be waiting forever. the fact is a child is a blessing and if you and your husband think now is a good time then go ahead. It sound to me like you all are responsible people and are able to give a child what they need, So Good Luck..

Answer 3

I think you're still on the young site, but you both seem to have your heads screwed on right.

If you can help yourself wait until you've moved back. You'll be happy to have your mum around to help and it's just much easier to organise a big move without a baby.

Concentrate on finishing your education and saving more money. Then start trying to get pregnant about 6 months before you're planning to move. On the other hand you might like to have your mum close though out your pregnancy. I only saw my mum 2x during my pregnancy (even though we spoke on skype all the time) and it would've been nice to have had her around all the time.

Whatever you decide, lots of good luck and enjoy the freedom you still have together. As soon as you have babies everything revolves around them (but they're so worth it! :)

Answer 4

Everything WAS perfect!  

Answer 5

To give you perspective in a way that your husband will understand, combat fatigue with sleep deprivation and new baby at home are probably equivalent stresses.  It is unlike anything you have ever experienced.  

The difference between the two would be that you love the baby so much that while you feel like you are going to die, you wouldn't trade it for anything.  

I went on 2 hours of sleep every 48 hours which I got in 15 minute or less increments due to my baby's inability to sleep unless he was held and his fear of everyone but me.  

If you are in a position where you can handle three months or so of really high stress and lack of sleep, everything is very, very minor.

Your life situation sounds perfectly compatible to having a baby.  It really is if you both are able to handle the stress.  

Answer 6

Age does not have anything to do with being able to raise a child.

Some 30 year olds do a far worse job at raising a child than someone younger.

It's all about THAT specific person.

I'm not saying that I "promote" teen pregnancy, or anything or the sort.

All I'm saying is, don't focus on her age as a reliable source to tell whether or not that person is ready for a child.

Financial and marital stability are what matter more.

I'm a young mother, myself. And, I think I'm doing a wonderful job.

My daughter is a happy, healthy little girl.

Answer 7

There is never a "prefect" time to have a child. It sounds like you've thought this through a lot. However, as a mom with a 9-month-old and a year left of college, let me tell you this: I really wish we had waited until I was done with school. It's hard to be pregnant and be in school and it's even harder to have a young baby and be in school.

Some people might say that 21 is too young, but I was 27 when I had my baby and wish I was younger! Maybe I'd have more energy!

Answer 8

Nothing is ever perfect when you have a baby. It is a lot of responsibility. At 21, you may not be ready to take that on. I had my first son at 28. He will be 5 in November. My husband and I were sleep deprived and moody. Then the baby starts teething. That is h**l. It is so horrible to see them like that. Also diapers is something to get used to. The first time is always the hardest. With my daughter, it was so much easier. With the first, it is in uncharted territory. You have no idea what you get yourself into. But, it is all worth it. I delivered triplets 3 weeks ago and it is just a new adventure. I promise you that no matter what age you are when you have your baby, you will love that little person no matter what!