Was having children everything you dreamed it would be ?

Question

Much to my surprise, many mothers (including my own and my finance's!) have said that they love their children more than anything in the world but said that if they knew then what they know now about raising children (constant worrying, financial aspect, etc.), they would have never had them.

Do you agree?

Answer 1

HOLY c**p! Thats a harsh thing to say! I dont agree! My daughter is everything to me, I cant even picture life without her, she has given me the best year and a half of my life! I was the party girl who wanted to wait until I was in my 30's to have kids, definitely no rush, but tada!! I am 25 now with a little girl. It is hard financially sometimes (esp being a single mom!) but you get through it.

And in response to what PeterN said, I believe you can have it all- the career/school AND CHILD! I am a single mom and back in school. And no, HAVING a child is not something to be proud of, but RAISING one and raising it right, IS!

Answer 2

I have to say, I would never regret having my children. I love them yes, times can be much harder and much more complicated when you have children; but they truly are the only thing in life that is real. in my way of thinking, when life gets tough it's easier just to back out, but when you have children, knowing how much you love them and vi ca verca, how much they look up to you and depend on you for their needs, it it me is a blessing because they give me reason to keep moving forward.

Answer 3

Keep in mind that most guys don't dream of having kids.  So for us, we knew it would suck because most guys would be just as happy without kids.  Yes, we all love our kids, but I'd be much happier and a whole lot richer if I had gotten a vasectomy at 18.  Because as a guy, if the condom breaks, its out of our hands.

But you'll get a bunch of people who's whole identity is centered around their kids, so without their kids they'd have to explain why they never went to college or had a career.

And having kids is something anyone can do, its not an accomplishment like some people like to believe it is.

Answer 4

No, it wasn't everything I dreamed it would be, because my dreams were all "sugar and spice and everything nice."  I knew babies were dependent on you, but until I had one, OMG I had no idea!!  To this day I cannot get over the 6 months of sleep I lost with my first child.  He was a night time crier.  I was exhausted all the time, nursing constantly, and never in my entire life did I dream of the day I would have to call my mom crying and ask her to please come over and watch the baby so I could just take a shower.  I was so exhausted that I could not figure out how I was going to take a shower and watch the baby at the same time.  I was so scared he'd roll out of the carrier or choke or something and I was alone that day.  That was my first experience as a scared-to-death new mother.  I had many more experiences that made me wonder if I was going to be able to cut it as a mother, but it all paid off on two very special occasions.  

The first was the day my son came home from kindergarten and brought me a blue construction paper cutout of a baseball cap with the letter "C" on it.  He was so proud of what he made at school and in true form we put it on the fridge with a magnet.  I cried my head off!  Then, on the day he graduated high school and walked across that stage and was broadcast on the overhead screen at the arena receiving his diploma, I knew that everything I had ever had to sacrifice or go through for that baby that cried and didn't let me take a shower that one day was worth every single minute and I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!!!!

Answer 5

Yes, all the joys, hardships, disappointments, surprises, doctors visits, Christmas, teacher conferences, fears, yes...it's all exactly what I expected. But I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

But, I had no illusions going into it

Answer 6

I have 3 kids and love them more than anything but if I had to go through all the heartache, worry, disappointment, and financial aspect I would lie to you if I ever said I would change and not have them.  Everything has good and bad and those hugs and kisses without asking or watch them sleep it is all worth it.