Was i wrong to walk away?

Question

Today is my son's first day of school! For weeks now my husband and I have been talking to him about school, and he was excited!

2 days ago, he started telling us he was scared! We told him, its ok to be scared. Well today we was getting ready to leave to go to the bus stop, and he wouldnt come out the door he cried! finally we got to the bus stop the other kids and him was playing, there was 3 other kids that was in his class at the bus stop. When the bus came, he wouldnt get on, my husband had to carry him on! He was crying and saying daddy dont leave me, he wouldnt sit down! So to keep the other kids from being late, he took him off, and we walked back home, and got I had my friend take me and my son, to his school, (dad had to go to work)

Once we got to the school, He was crying so hard he couldnt caught his breath!, He was shaking! and holding on tight as ever to my hand, I walked him to his teacher, she said alotta kids do this, its normal, he will be ok, but the longer I stay, the harder its gonna be for him! His teacher told me to just G.O! I kissed his cheek and i told him I loved him, and that I would see him in a little while! His teacher gradded his hand, and he wouldnt let go of me! , another teacher, came, and I handed his hand to her, and I turned and went out the door! he was screaming for me! "mommy dont leave me" I looked back, and he had thrown himself on the floor! and was crying! I continued to walk on, only to get about 2 more steps and I lost it! another teacher came out to me, so he wouldnt see me! It felt like someone ripped my heart outta my chest! my god! it about killed me! finally I got back to my friends car, and I came home!

my heart is breaking! I feel like the worst mommy in the world! Should I have not left him? Was i in the wrong to walk away! This truly was the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my life!!! somebody please help me....

Answer 1

it does break your heart

the same thing happened to me

my son was 3 when i started him in school

early head-start

he never been to daycare, never been around other kids (we didnt know any who has kids his age) so he's only around adults

i figured he was scared and didnt want me to leave

but i didnt know the teachers neglected him (he refused to talk, he gets scared/sad he wont talk)

they didnt feed him, let him soil himself

talk about a mad mother

i went down there yelled at them they didnt care i told the principal she seemed not to care either

from that day on i made surprised visits

got on the butts, if im pay them they better watch my son

(it was a private school we paid 4thousand)

i never let anyone watch my son

only my mom or sister

he was my little shadow

i didnt leave my son for a night until my honeymoon (4 yrs old)

it was the hardest week of my life we even came back early took him out of school spent the whole day with him

just be involved make sure your son is taken care of

your a mom

you have a right to be involved

Answer 2

I did the same thing when I dropped my daughter off at day care for the first time.  She was crying and reaching out for me and I had to turn and leave, I was crying so hard when I reached the truck I could hardly drive home.  It was been a month now and she still cries when I drop her off, but the caregiver tells me it is very short lived about 5 min.  It is also better when daddy drops her off and I don't go.  It does get better Mom and they learn that even though we're not with them every second, we will always come back and we love them the same.  To tell you the truth I still get weeping when I drop her off, but I never let her see it and I suck it up after a few seconds.  It doesn't get easier, it just gets better and you get stronger.  He will be OK I promise.  

Answer 3

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Did he ever go to Day Care?  I would say you could compare it to that.  He may have cried when you left him there sometimes but then been okay after.  

It's normal to be seperated from ones parents.  At bedtime your child might cry an make a fuss but he needs to be able to be alone away from your in order to learn about life and it's a normal part of development.  

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Answer 4

The best thing was for you to walk away but get prepared the crying when you drop him off can last for a while. Alot of children cry on their first day of school they don't know what to expect then before you know it the minute you walk the door the tears stop completely. They start having fun. Once he gets used to his teacher he will be fine. Don't beat yourself up about it you were not wrong for walking away. If you would have stayed you would have made it harder for his teacher. Now you need to figure out how to get him on the bus tomorrow

Good Luck everything thing will be okay before you know it he'll be asking to go to school on the weekends.

Answer 5

It is normal especially if the child is not use to being away from you.

You will see that at the end of the day when he comes home, he will be happy and will have loved school.

This may happen for a few days but eventually he will go on his own.

My daughter started pre-k this year and still has to give me a million hugs before I leave. She's been in daycare since she was 2 and did that then.

Don't beat yourself up, he has to learn that you are not always going to be there, but that you will be there when he gets home.

Give him lots of attention when he comes home and tell him you want to hear all about his day.

Answer 6

It must have been very hard for you to make that choice, but if you had stayed your son would have never learned that sometimes you have to be apart for a little bit, and this could possibly develop into serious seperation anxiety. When your son gets home from school, tell him how easy it was and what a big boy he was for being without you.

** To help reduce the stress of him not wanting to go next time, you could invite over a family member that he admires (Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc) And start finger painting at a table (with or without your son) Make it look very fun and if your son is not painting with you, he will most likely be drawn to you and ask to join. You can say "Well are you sure? This is the kind of stuff you will have to do in kindergarden" Then you can have a fun time with him and he will probably be less anxious to go to school. This has worked from personal experiance :)

Answer 7

You are not a bad Mommy at all. Teachers always tell the parents that if they just leave its easier for the child. I hate to say it but its actually easier for the teacher. They tried that with my first child also but I wouldnt leave until she stopped crying. Only took about 15 minutes and the teacher was not happy with my staying but its my child and thats how I chose to deal with the situation. Everyone knows their child and you need to decide how to deal with yours. My second child to go to school was my son and we went into his kindergarten class and about 2 minutes later he turns to me and says "Love you Mom...you can go now." It was the cutest thing but almost hurt,lol. All kids are different..do what you think is best.