Was it morally wrong for me to marry a woman to teach her, even though I never loved her?

Question

I never even like the girl, but I felt sorry for her and came up with a plan to break her illusions that her mother had trapped her inside of. I began a relationship and acted as if I loved her. We got married. (Which was what her mother always wanted for her.) She thought that she wanted it. I taught her that she never really wanted to be married in the first place. She left me. I never let her know that I never loved her. As far as she could tell, I always loved her and cared about her deeply. Was it wrong to do that just to teach her a lesson about life?

Answer 1

YUP. you didn't teach her she didn't want to be married. you taught her that she didn't want to be married to YOU. now on top of all the life issues she apparently already had, she's got a failed marriage with a guy who never loved her. you didn't have to tell her you didn't love her. she obviously knew. that's why she left you. stop trying to teach people life lessons by being manipulative. regardless of your intentions, its just wrong.

Answer 2

If she left you, what lesson did you learn?

Answer 3

You sound like a sociopath.  I hope you will never admit what was really going on to anyone you know.  I mean, Yahoo! Answers is totally anonymous.  And, get some help, you really have a problem.  

Answer 4

Yes it was wrong - it was not your place to teach her the lesson.  Shame on you!

Answer 5

WOW.  If you are asking this question, then you know it was wrong.

It is called being dishonest. That is so noble of you teach her that she never really wanted to be married to be married in the first.  Did you lie to her and tell her you loved her, too ?

as far as she could tell, you always loved her !  I believe that is called deception :)

Answer 6

youre sicko

Answer 7

yes because getting married is supposed to be a life commitment to someone who you will charish and love, death to you part. Its meant to be your word to god as proof of love and devotion. perhaps these are not your morals, but they probably were hers or she wouldn't have married you. Its good that she left you and she probably could see through you and tell you didn't love her. you shouldn't marry someone to show them a life lesson. the next time that you marry, if you do....make sure its for the right reasons.  

Answer 8

No not wrong the in the least bit. I only would think its right if you tell her in a really long letter of why you did things but i would include that you did love her just to make the vibe a little better, it makes you a better man.

Answer 9

That is a tough one:

Well, I suppose if you treated her with respect, and took care of her and she left you on her own, then my answer would be no, you're not wrong

Answer 10

LOL- You never teach a woman anything.  

That is why she left you and you didn't leave her.

Otherwise she'd still be hanging around, and you'd be asking "How do I get rid of her?"

The only thing you should 've learned is life is not a game.

HAHAHA she used you.  

And you did love her.

Answer 11

What lesson is it that you think you taught her? How to take pain?  Did you ever stop to think that maybe she left you because you never "treated" her like you loved her? it takes more than "an act" to make someone feel loved. You can say "I love you." but if you dont actually feel it, the other person, trust me, can tell.  What would have been the benefit for her, marrying someone that she never wanted to? It does not make sense. I think you are in daniel.  

Answer 12

logic love is a fallacy.love is first stage and marriage finnal stage.you married to teach although marriage is to unify two hearts .your intension to marry here were v v.....very wrong.  

Answer 13

Wow that is crazy, the craziest part is that it really sounds like this is a story you are trying to convince yourself of rather then anything else. I think you did love her and that you are hurt that she left. Nobody marries someone they feel sorry for, not with alimony these days. I think you need to talk to someone because you are in denial about your own feelings. She wouldn't of left if it always looked like you loved her and she felt that you did. She probably just didn't want to be married to you anymore not that she doesn't want marriage period. I am guessing that this is your reaction to a women that you always thought you were better then, leaving you.....probably hit your ego.

Answer 14

Someone needs to teach you not to be so literal in trying to teach someone else something. So if someone never wanted to kill someone in you opinion I must add would you let them kill you first are you crazy.

Answer 15

Who are you, God? It's not your place to teach her lessons about life!  

Answer 16

That's just plain stupid.  Yes, it was wrong.

Answer 17

Yes, it was wrong, wrong, wrong!!  It is called LYING.  How creepy can you get.

Answer 18

yes.  that is a very bizarre story and of course it is wrong to marry someone you do not love.  although, i do think it's fine to leave well enough alone now and not tell her.  after all, what's done is done, and if you tell her now, you will only hurt feelings (alot!!)

Answer 19

And exactly what lesson did you teach her?

Men lie?  Don't believe it when someone says "I love you"?  Don't take your marriage vows seriously?    

Who gave you the right to be her educator?  And if you "never even like the girl", as you say, why did you try?

Answer 20

I think this is a joke. Right. You made this up.

Answer 21

no it wasnt, sounds like your a good man that actually cared for this person... loved or not.

Now she's left you and she is enjoying life... good job that was the goal in the first place.  Be at peace with yourself over this.. you will be able to sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing... just DONT go telling this girl you never loved her.