Was it wrong to give in after almost an hour???

Question

Long story short... my nearly 2 yr old son REFUSED to take a nap today which he CLEARLY needed. I spanked him finally after a half an hour and made him stay in the bed for another 20 minutes before I gave in and let him out of bed. We battled for almost an hour and he wasn't even phased by my attempt to make him stay in bed for a nap! I am not asking you what you think about spanking or time out as discipline options so please don't give me these answers.... I am asking if giving in after almost an hour was the wrong thing??? At what point do you give up???! I needed a nap by the end of his horrible fit. Please help! My husband is on 3rd shift and can't be disturbed like this every day!

Answer 1

Do not give in.  Your husband will have to suck it up for a day or 3 until you're victorious, but would you rather keep fighting battles over naps, or win the war?  If he needs a nap, put him in his room, in bed.  Make sure sleeping is the most attractive thing for him to do in his room - no books, toys, etc. in the room.

It feels horrible to listen to your kids yell like that, but the good news is that it won't last forever.  You'll go through this for a few days and be done with it.  We went through stuff like this with both of our kids - 3.5 and 1.5.  Neither of them give us trouble with it any more.  The younger one is the stronger willed one, and she took about 4 days to finally get it.

Answer 2

Honestly, like my aunt told me a couple of months ago, you just let them cry it out until they stop. Even if it's 2, 3, 4 hours... as long as you know he's dry, isn't hungry or thirsty, then you just don't give in, period. It's hard and yes, will definately try your nerves. Best thing to do is keep putting him back in his bed until it's over-and he decides that. When the fit stops, then it's over... regardless of if you decide he needs a spanking, that's up to you. Ultimately, he needs to know that mommy won't give up if he keeps pushing it... and again, that means upwards of HOURS of a battle.

It sounds like you have a very strong willed little guy. I think the longest one of those we've dealt with is a little over an hour. It's not fun, but it is what it is...

Answer 3

i went thru this with my oldest at that age. DO NOT give in. or he will keep on with this behavior!  if it gets to be too much for you then put him in bed and shut his door. he will cry, scream and probably bang on the door (nothing wrong with spanking at all!) but he will wear himself out. and after a couple days of this he will catch on. BEST OF LUCK!  

and no matter what all these other idiots on here say you are not a bad mother...

Answer 4

what your having is a power struggle with your two year old and thats the worst thing u can do w/ a toddler but very easy to do, believe me I know i have one and have worked at daycares.

Just remember this one important rule- you'll never win a powerstuggle with a two year old!!!

Going to have to come up with other ways to put him down- be creative. Ok if you take a nap you get to watch your favorite show when you wake up. Or whatever is special to him- helping you w/ dinner, going outside to play, playing a special game, etc. If he doesn't take a nap- well no doing that special thing and he has to go to bed extra early. This will be much better so you don't have to get yourself in situations like this,  

Answer 5

Just give him candy.  

Answer 6

Omg:O

Thats Terrible Parenting!!

Im 13 Even I Know Thats Sick! He's Two Years Old!  

Answer 7

I think your reaction was fine and understandable.

You can't make a child sleep, obviously, but you do need to enforce a rest time, if nothing else.

Some pointers: Try to set a regular nap time at the exact same time each day. When the time comes, tell him it's rest time now and we'll see you in one hour. Read him a book or play some soft music - something to settle him. Then put an egg timer in his room and tell him he can come out when the timer goes off. And if he is not asleep after an hour, let him out. DON'T LET HIM OUT UNTIL THE HOUR IS UP - unless, of course, he has a bathroom emergency or something!

If he screams and throws a fit, so be it. If you don't give in to him on this, you'll win the war on rest time.

He might be balking at thinking he's being forced to *sleep,* when he doesn't want to sleep - that's one of the ways kids that age assert that independence. The point is that you have to make rest time non-negotiable. Routine - egg timer - door closed - night-night, see you in an hour. Chances are, he'll conk out shortly after you settle him.

Another thing I highly recommend if you really get desperate: a lock on the outside of the door, which you will be there to unhook when the hour is up. It's a well-kept secret, but every mom I know with difficult boys like this has tried it! (It works)

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

No it's not like, WRONG but next time, just leave him laying there...they all fall asleep after awhile. Sometimes it takes 30 mins to an hour for them to fall asleep!