Was my dad being rude or am I overreacting?

Question

For my cousin's 14th birthday, my dad bought her an 18ct gold necklace worth £200 ($400), but for my 15th birthday he gave me £60 ($120). I'm not ungrateful for the £60 he gave me, but I don't understand why he gave his niece a better present than me. He knows I love jewellry. And after all, I am his daughter who just got all As and A*s in her GCSEs...

Answer 1

That doesn't sound right.

Answer 2

its the thought that counts not how much was spent babe :-) your present may have had a lot more sentimental value to it x

Answer 3

why don't you just ask him  

Answer 4

Here is the key: "He knows I love jewellery."

So if you love jewellery, the value of his gift will be greater to you than to someone who is impartial about jewellery.

Probably you have received much, much more from your dad in money terms than your cousin ever will -- your parents have raised you from a child and will continue to support you at least until adulthood. The average child costs their parents £200,000!

But don't value yourself in money terms, or indeed in terms of GCSE grades. Love isn't measured in pounds or A grades. I'm sure your parents love you very much, and don't need to express their love by giving you mere trinkets and baubles.

Be happy for your cousin and be very very grateful to your parents for devoting their lives to you. :-)

Answer 5

Maybe he just liked the necklace and didn't stop to think 'this costs more than I spent on my daughter'.  Or maybe he didn't have as much money on your birthday as he did later on.  Don't be overly sensitive about it.  He loves you.

Answer 6

my eyebrows are raised.....hmmm

Answer 7

wow sorry but that is ****** up...ur his own daughter!  i would say something

Answer 8

u r overreacting.  be glad he got u something.

Answer 9

It is possible that his niece is actually his daughter, too. Stranger things have happened.

Answer 10

Don't worry about it you did get something,he probably thinks you will soon be leaving school and earning your own money ,and then you will know then the value of money,,

Answer 11

Maybe he was short of money during your birthday.

Or maybe you think it is $400 necklace which he must have got it cheap.

It is shallow to weigh your gift.

Thankfull to whatever you get. There are girls who don't get anything for their birthdays.

My father never gave me a gift on my birthdays, but I don't regret.

Answer 12

Picasso is right - but also, could your cousin not be your dad's niece, but maybe his daughter ............../  Could that explain it?  Maybe he feels guilty about that so he treated her better than you?  I think you should confront him, because if I was in your shoes this would hack me off.  

Answer 13

Hmmm...... I would be annoyed too!

Answer 14

Maybe the fancy gift was for the birthday, not for the person.  He might think a 14th birthday calls for an extra-special gift... in the U.S. it's usually the "Sweet 16" birthday that brings in the high-priced gifts.

Or maybe he was making up for the fact that he doesn't usually give his niece nice gifts, or any gifts at all.  Maybe he forgot her one year and wanted to make up for it.  Or maybe the price tag isn't the same as what he paid for it (he might have gotten it for free or at a discount).

I'm sure he loves you more than he loves her.  But the only way to know why he did something is to ask him directly.

Answer 15

If he gives his niece an expensive present, it demonstrates that he can afford it, and he’s generous. It should show his sibling that he's well off.

Answer 16

A wise adult will only spend what he can easily afford at the time. Is it possible your dad may have been a little short on extra cash at the time of your birthday and just happened to have more to spend when your cousin's birthday rolled around? There could be any number of reason he did what he did, but you'll never know the real answer to your question (and he'll never know he hurt your feelings) until you ask HIM why he spent so much on your cousin. Parents usually have a good reason for doing the things they do, but those reason aren't always clear or obvious to the children involved.

Answer 17

Perhaps he was trying to impress his sibling, your cousin's mother or father.  "Yes, I have a lot of money and got your daughter a great present.  What did YOU get her?"

Answer 18

Why is your dad buying your cousin such expensive jewelry?

That's mighty suspicious I think.

Answer 19

I understand that you may feel hurt but Tommy said it all. I doubt he'd do you any harm. Being all fussed about it may give a bit of insight. If you are feeling hurt, jealous, or otherwise odd, take a mo and think. Perhaps you cousin has no one to buy nice things for her and he was trying to give her an ego boost.

At the same time I understand why you would feel as though you were on the short end. If he otherwise does for you, and adores you then you can't really be too fussed. If he always treats you second, then he does indeed have a problem.

"Will be glad for someone to give £60 ($120) for my birthday"  

Answer 20

Ask him! If rude people get away with doing what they do best, then they will keep doing it. When confronted you will find he is either lying to you or has a good excuse. If he lies to you , you will probably recognize it right away.Is your mom still around? If nothin Else, make sure you get her something REALLLLY nice for her birthday and get him a card for his. He may get the point!!! Or maybe in the card say I was gonna get you something really nice but I figured _______( my cousin) would get you something nice in return for such extravagant birthday gifts! There is a reason for him doing that. Would there be some uncle/niece sexual relationship goin on there?

Answer 21

Maybe something happened to his budget in the meantime. Tell him you'd enjoy a day out with him having lunch and maybe hang out at the mall afterward - lol.  Try not to be so hurt about it if he otherwise proves he loves you. Maybe he shopped for your cuz when he was in a mood to spend; we all have those moods where we love to shop til we drop.

Also, take note of this. I have shopped w/my hubby and looked at prices and about passed out! But...let one pretty sales lady show up and she starts charming the heck out of him, and he''ll spend more - it's about the ego thing. Men don't like to look like they can't afford something. I'm thinking the cuz's purchase ended up being a result of this type of issue.

Answer 22

so what did he say then?