Was she molested? Please help

Question

My friend told me a kind of scary secret. She said once when she was seven or eight, her babysitter who was like eighteen or so said "I'll let you touch my p***s if you let me touch her v****a". She didnt get what was happening so she giggled and was like "No" and then he put her hand on his private parts and made her touch. She says she doesnt really remember what happened before which I dont know why. How could you forget? She has kept this in for seven years and I'm the only one who knows. She said I can never ever tell seriously. So did he 'molest' her? And how should I help? I feel kind of helpless and shocked... so thanks so much!

Love Haleigh<3

Answer 1

Ok first she may have experienced shock and tuned out more details since she &quot;knew&quot; this was not what the babysitter was trusted to do with her. B- what he did was inappropriate. Did it continue? 3rd- if she is feeling guilty she should talk to someone because she has kept in a secret, she may have other memories she can&#039;t recall that may be helping her feel bad, wondering how others will respond is also scary. Can she talk with an adult she can trust? Is there one you trust that you can talk to her about talking to? help her get help to deal with this

Answer 2

She should talk to a therapist, not you.  She has made you complicit, but the worse thing is she is not doing herself or anyone else a lot of good.  She is allowing others to be molested.  If he molested her, you can be certain he is molesting others.  Of course, the perpetrator sees nothing wrong with it, but the victims are haunted their entire lives and their future relationships usually become twisted.  They are haunted with lingering feelings of the intentions of people similar to the perpetrator (other men or women) and have difficulty forming healthy relationships.  They may also see other sexual behaviors as a means for forming relationships when you should form a very close relationship nonsexually, getting to know your partner and becoming nonsexually intimate, before engaging in s*x and becoming sexually intimate.  Our society in general has really perverted this side of intimacy, but that is another story.

Answer 3

If her babysitter made her touch his p***s, then that constitutes sexual abuse.  

The best way for you to help her is to listen.  She might want to tell you the same stuff over and over.  And she might find it very difficult to come to a decision about what to do.  Be very patient with her and listen a lot.

As for whether she should tell... I believe very strongly that someone who has been abused needs to be able to make their own decisions and shouldn&#039;t feel guilty or responsible for what might or might not happen to other people.  If this man has molested other children, then *he* is the bad guy.  If she decides that telling will be too difficult for her, then that&#039;s fine.  She is *not* to blame for his actions.  

If she is able to get counselling it will help her to work through some of her feelings about it.

You&#039;re a good friend; hang in there!