Was this an appropriate punishment?

Question

My seven year old daughter left the house for the second time yesterday without permission. She goes through the yard and goes play with the neighbors daughter. They have a trampoline. I had no idea where she was for twenty or thirty minutes. I finally called the neighbors and sure enough she was there. I had told her not to do this. My husband went and got her and as soon as she was home, she got a spanking. Usually our spankings are just one or two swats on the bottom followed by an explanation. She got six hard swats this time, becasue we thought this was a biggie. Do you think spanking was apporopriate here, and were some other punishment would of worked better. Was the spanking too severe?

Answer 1

Honestly, I'm 18 and I don't think that this was a bad punishment at all! The only other thing that I could thing of, would be to sit her in time out or ground her for a day or two.

I think that not enough parents these days are taking care of their own kids in the right way. Meaning that they don't know how to punish their own kids, and in this case, they just get away with pretty much everything, and never learn the severity of their actions.

Answer 2

Your husband handled that very well i think spankings work well because they are short but painfull good work parents!

Answer 3

I believe you were right to spank her. I had a similar incident with my 7 year old boy. He too was at the neighbors when I found him. At this age, it's very dangerous to wonder off and they need to learn it is NECESSARY that us as parents need to know where they are going at all times.

You did the right thing, especially if she's done this before.  

Answer 4

Not sure on this one. I swat my toddler's bottom, but my 7 year old seems to be too old for spankings.  However, my 7 year old has yet to do something so bad to warrant a spanking.  Anyways, if it was me, I would know already that she has a neighbor friend she likes to go over to and play with, so that would be the first place I would look.  I certainly wouldn't have been looking for her for 25 minutes.  I think you were panicked and angry and that is why she got a harder spanking this time.  If you had known she was over there and figured it out in say less than a minute, would she still have gotten this harder spanking or just a regular spanking?  

Answer 5

I would say..spanking is NOT the answer.  I did spank my kids when they were younger, they're are 17, 19 and 21 now and in hindsight, I wish I had  not.  Sitting her down, even at 7 she has to understand the danger, and make her see what can happen when she leaves home without permission and without you knowing exactly where she is at all times.  We never want to alarm our children unnecessarily, but in this case, I believe she has to understand that it's very dangerous for her to leave the house.  Tell her that you will be more than happy to walk her over next time, and pick her up but that she is not allowed to go alone.  

Answer 6

there is a difference in spanking with a firm hand of love, and hitting out of pure frustration and anger.

she needs to have to stay in the house and have things taken away for a few days too,. this way she knows you mean business

Answer 7

It is never O.K. to hit/swat a child. All it teaches them is that they'll get smacked if they do something wrong. It makes a  child behave out of fear, not because they have learned anything. If your husband hit you because you did something "wrong," it would be considered abuse and he could end up in jail, so why should it be any different for our kids???

That said, I would simply explain to her the importance of letting you know where she is going. I'm sure you must have been worried not knowing where she was. And then set consequences; if she breaaks the rules; ground her for a few days, take away T.V., give an ealier bedtime, etc.

Answer 8

No it was appropriate. I think that was absolutely alright. She needs to know that you are not joking around. Good Job for being a caring parent. Good luck for the future

Answer 9

as a child who was spanked i would say it was equal to the deed. she's been told before and at seven she remembers what she was told. like any kid she's testing the waters. maybe spanking doesn't work for her.  

Answer 10

Spanking is always wrong.

You should watch her better and she wouldn't leave the house.

In this day and age you MUST know where your child is at all times.

Get off the computer and watch your kid.

Answer 11

No the spanking was ot to severe, and before you no spanking jerks start going  off........yes it is OK to spank your kids!!! She deserved this as diobeying the same rule twice in 1 day and going out of the house are both biggies! Now that the situation has cooled off some I would also sit her down, explain the dangers of going off without asking are, and ground her from visiting the neighbors house for a week as well. Good luck

Answer 12

I don't think the spanking was severe, but I do think there were other ways to handle it. What about, "if you go off without asking permission first you aren't allowed to play outside for the rest of the day (or if it's late, then you can't play outside tomorrow)." Children usually respond better if you take something away rather than just punishing them.  

Answer 13

I'd say for deliberate disobedience, the punishment fit the crime.  A seven year old knows better and knows what you mean by telling her to not to leave the house.  She doesn't need a lengthy explanation as to why she was wrong; she needs a quick reminder and a consequence.  You did fine.

If you prefer a different method you could simply remove her privileges for a couple days.  But I still believe you handled it fine. Your definition of spanking is pretty much ours as well.

Answer 14

Frankly, she needed more punishment than that.  She really needed a proper spanking.

She needs to be placed across your lap face down. Panties lowered to her knees. You need to slap her bottom hard enough that she cries. You need to slap her bottom several times; after she is crying uncontrollably, slap her bottom 10 times, but harder. Let her cry. Give her a hug and then some privacy.

I usually have a talk with my daughters later, after they have regained their composure.

Answer 15

I think your husband made the correct choice. Spankings hurt temporally, they don't cause injury. As I started reading your question, "spanking" was going to be my answer. So I agree with how your family chose to deal with the situation. 6 swats is not to excessive. Our daughters @ age 7 get at least 7, and they don't get the protection of a clothing so don't feel bad. Pat your husband on the back for a job well done, and explain to your daughter how dangerous leaving the home with out permission is

Answer 16

That was not really wrong but she was just playing. Tell her your going to start locking heri n her room if she continues to do this.

Answer 17

Your daughter got from you exactly what she would have gotten from me. At 7 year old, 6 spanks for leaving without notice is just right. That is not abuse but very good parenting. I assume that after the spanking you again explained what she did wrong and why she had to be punished.

Answer 18

nothing at all wrong with it, and your husband did the right thing. i hope she got the message and does not do this again. my dad would have done the same thing to me if i had done that. good parenting !!

Answer 19

Six smacks!!!

I would say that's over the top for sure, maybe ground her and sit her down and explain you were very scared where she was and how dangerouse it is to go out without her mum and dad, (stranger danger/traffic)

Maybe ban her from doing her favourite thing for a day or two.

I'm not against smacking kids but feel six is too much.