Was this in bad taste and should I have said something?

Question

A family relative (on my spouse's side) just called me and said her child was wondering if we had forgotten her birthday (this child is in her teens) because she hadn't received a card or present. I was taken aback and said she would have to talk to my husband when he got home. Do you think this is in bad taste? I wanted to tell her my child would never think of asking something like that, but she's on my husband's side of the family so I kept quiet. What do you think, and do you have any good answers to give her if she calls tonight?

Answer 1

oh my goodness!  that was SO rude and distasteful...i would never do that to someone.  talk about a spoiled child...sorry i have no answers, but this is just horrible

Answer 2

The mother is acting very immaturely.  If I had a dollar for every family member's birthday I forgot I'd be a millionaire.  I'm good if I remember the immediate ones (Dad, Mom, Brother...).  You need to tell your husband to remind this person that you are leading busy lives and although you may have forgotten to send out a birthday card does not mean you don't care or aren't sorry for doing so.  Birthdays do not center around gifts and cards as so many people believe they do.  Your husband needs to stand up for your family on this one.  It is very rude and presumptious to just expect cards and money on one's birthday.  She must be like this all the time....

Oh yeah, and don't go sending out a card now just because she demanded one.  You are not 5 years old.  You do not have to 'do as you are told' by a grown family member.  If you send out a card now she will know that she can bully you into sending anything, anytime.  If I were you, I would write a simple email to the birthday girl apologizing for not sending a card and wishing her all the best.  Good luck!

Answer 3

he needs to grow balls

Answer 4

Oh boy!  Is that EVER in bad taste?  I think it's probably best you didn't say anything then, when you were so caught off guard, and likely, angry.  I would talk to your husband about it, and see what he says.  You may just have to let this one go.  Is this a relative that you are particularly close to?  Could it have been in a joking manner?  Some people just don't have the tact we wish they had, and we just need to let it roll off our backs.  Good luck!

Oh and certainly, don't send a card or gift!  You own them nothing!!

Answer 5

Who is this child's mother? Is she the royal queen of poor etiquette. She should never have picked up the phone even thinking to ask that kind of a question.  You did a good job by passing it on to your husband.  If it were me, being as though we're family, i would have given her something to think about, so the next time she called, she would have a better topic of discussion.

Answer 6

ouch!

u did well. it was rude to receive such a question, and u did well. let them solve the issue in the family, and no need for u to feel bad.