Was this rape? I'm not sure...?

Question

i had two glasses of wine at my friend's house and got completely drunk. I was sitting on the couch and he started touching and feeling on me. I tried to tell him to stop, but I couldn't all I could do was grunt "uh-uh." Then he half carried me into his room and put me on his bed. Long story short, I kept shaking my head and saying "uh-uh" and he had s*x with me anyway. It wasn't until he saw I was crying that he stopped.

Was that rape? He's a friend of mine, and we've had s*x a couple of times before. The thing is, I told him about a week ago that I didn't wanna go there with him anymore. And when I went over there last night I told him I wasn't trying to do anything... Was I raped, was it my fault? I feel like I should have known better or done more...

Answer 1

the law is that if someone is drunk, they are unable to accept of deny s*x. Therefore, yes I believe this was rape.  

Answer 2

in light of your prior sexual encounters with him and seemingly lack of clear objection. I would say definitely not.  

Answer 3

yes.

Answer 4

If you were even touched sexually without your consent, then you were raped.  If you did give consent, then you were NOT raped.  If you did not have the mental capacity to consent, thus incapacitated, and the attacker knew you were incapacitated, then you WERE raped.  Remember the date rape drug?  All states have laws that provide for a lack of consent for an incapacitated person.  With that being said, if you file charges, you can expect a long drawn out trial where your past relationship with the defendant will certainly be brought out.  But don't be afraid to do the right thing.  He needs to be made aware that what he did was wrong.  If that entails going to the police, then so be it.

Answer 5

The courts have ruled again and again, if you said no, implied the answer was no, or because of drugs or alcohol you were not in a competent mind, rape occurred.

Answer 6

I don't know but he did stop once he knew that you were unwilling to have s*x with him (when he saw you cry).  

Answer 7

Yes, you were raped, no matter what you have the right to say NO! He is no friend of yours if he did this and you should file charges against him so he doesn't do it to anyone else!

Answer 8

Rape? - yes.

Your "fault"? - No.

However, only you are responsible for protecting you. If you take a break from that job by CHOOSING to become stupid-drunk and leaving your wellbeing up to a bunch of creeps - then you're going to get what  you get.

"Fault" is not a useful word. "Result" is a useful word. You do this - and you get THAT result. You didn't "cause" it, but you did facilitate it through your own choices.

Good luck on your recovery - which will, hopefully, include a different attitude about getting plastered.

Answer 9

If you said uh-uh that means no. Like other posters said, he had to carry you to the room, so obviously you were not able to consent. Being a friend does not negate rape... in fact most women are raped by people they know (friends and family members). It wasn't your fault in any way. He knew you didn't want to be physical with him prior to the party. Whether or not you want to press charges is up to you.