Was this wrong of me? Why? Wife says I was reasonable; MIL says I wasn't?

Question

My daughter got suspended from school today, for the third time since January. I warned her that she would be spanked, but today she just "couldn't resist" beating up one of the kindergarteners (BTW, my daughter is nine). So I sent her to her room for half an hour then came up and told her to get undressed fully. Then I put her over my lap and proceeded to spank her for about five minutes with a hairbrush. I think she learned her lesson, but now I feel bad. Was I wrong?

Answer 1

making a 9 year old strip of and get beaten for 5 minutes!!!! Thats enough to have your child taken away from you. Why does she need to be naked??? I am not against a smack but that is a beating. You used an object and it was more than one and it would have left a mark. There are better ways to punish

NAKED!!! That creeps me out

Answer 2

There is something definitely wrong with you.  I'm almost certain that this is a false post by a troll, but in the off chance it isn't you are sick and wrong.

Obviously a child that is using violence at school to get attention then there is something wrong.  Not to mention that 9 is too old to be spanked, and you never spank a child with anything but your hand.  5 minutes?  Are you retarded?

You and your daughter need some serious counseling.  I hope you MIL calls CPS on you.

Answer 3

JERK!  Go get your JOLLIES somewhere else...PLEASE

Answer 4

In MY opinion you were wrong.  I've never felt the need to use physical violence against my children.  Obviously your parenting tactics don't work because she continues to be suspended from school from the lessons that YOU have taught her.  So now you are teaching her that when all else seems to fail it is okay to hit.  So I guess you can look forward to more school suspensions because of her hitting when she doesn't get her way.  A child's most important teachers are his/her parents, and what are YOU teaching your daughter?

Answer 5

that borders on child abuse....if ur MIL decides she is gonna call cps and they come out ir daughter will be taken away bottem line u screwed up and u better hope cps doesnt get called

Answer 6

well taking off her clothes was extremely extreme and not necessary.

And you were right as a parent to spank her. Afterall you need to raise your child how you see fit. I am jamaican and we don't play when kids are rude, disrespectful and don't listen. Spanking a child is okay because you are telling them that you are being serious and that you are the parent and you mean business. As long as you don't just go and beat her because you feel like it, it's fine. My mom surely used to beat me for not listening to her and i surely learned my lesson. And beating is not outdated, because i am 19 and my mom tells me every day that just because am off at college doesn't mean she can't whoop my *** for being bad...and i surely believe her. You just need to put your foot down as a parent and do what you need to do to get your point across because if you don't things will only get worse.

Answer 7

OK. I agree with the spanking... but why the hair brush and why naked??

that sorta sounds creepy.

I have a 9 year old daughter and if my hubby tried that I would have problems with it too. 9 is close to a teenager. I am sure you totally crossed the line. She is a young lady.. EVEN if she doesn't act like it.

Grounding her or taking away privlages would be more suitable.

Answer 8

so do you get off to all of us telling you what a bad little daddy you've been....come on - no one has their kid take off all their clothes to be beaten with a brush........why don't u just use barbwire next time!

Answer 9

Why did you make her take off her clothes? How disgusting and humiliating? Spanked her for 5 minutes??? Someone needs to beat on you for 5 minutes.

It sounds like your daughter needs some professional help as well as you.

I hope someone knows you and calls Children Services!

Your an ***!!!!

Answer 10

PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CALL THE COPS!!!!!!!!

EMERGENCY PERVERT ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

That was a bit over the top. You should not be seeing a nine-year-old naked and you should not be spanking her for five minutes with a hairbrush. Have her apologize to the kindergartener over the phone and keep her busy doing chores and work over her suspension. That should be enough.

Answer 12

Honestly... the way to punish a young child is NOT to humiliate her. Having her take off her close was most certainly the wrong course of action. A spanking I can understand, and I won't say it was wrong, but it's probably not what I would have done.

The way I always saw it was a spanking was a punishment for right-then-and-there... like... if you CAUGHT the kid doing something wrong. Five hours later isn't the best thing, I don't think, and a better idea might be for her to be made to think about how the kindergartner felt and to write two appology letters: one to the kid she beat up, and another to the school, apologizing for making trouble.

You have to think about WHY she's beating other kids up. Where did she learn that? Spankings could be the root... the "they deserved it" mindset. Or violent television, or witnessing violence elsewhere.

Or perhaps she doesn't have a healthy way to release her frustrations. Maybe you should encourage her to keep a journal or make it a habit to talk with her about the good points and bad points of her day when she gets home from school. Good communication keeps kids out of trouble. Period.

EDIT: I read a book that had a concept I agree with (the book wasn't great, in my opinion, so I won't credit it, haha). If you MUST spank your child, I agree that having a flat object to do it with is best... BECAUSE... like this book said, hands should be used for nurturing and loving, never for smacking. Smacking can be impulsive and that's not what you want to do. If you feel it's appropriate to spank your child, it might be best to step back and grab your brush or paddle and give a punishment according to the crime.

Honestly, when I was spanked as a child, it wasn't the pain that got me. It was the humiliation. Needless to say, two or three wacks got the point across. That should be more than enough.

Answer 13

Yes,

You are wrong on many accounts, you need to seek psychological counseling as your fantasies being portrayed online is a dangerous sign.

Before you hurt someone, seek help from a licensed professional.

Answer 14

You need help!

Answer 15

What did you do? With a hairbrush?  Are you crazy? The best thing is not to hurt the child, because if you are punishing your girl because she hurt another child, then you are REPEATING THE SAME BAD ACTION!!

You should have punished her by not letting her have what she loves, for ex tv or whatever...!

Answer 16

yes she needed a spanking you tolder she was getting one so yes she needed one but naked isnt that a bit much she is nine not 2 dont let her know you feel bad and dont let your wife baby her that will just make a whole new problim youve already done it so stick to it but next time skip the naked part

Answer 17

the fully undressed part is waaaay creepy

Answer 18

I think you were unreasonable she is just a child and you spanked her with her clothes off? umm let's see you were spanking a naked little girl for 5 minutes with a brush?? Hmm you don't see anything wrong with that picture!!!

Answer 19

No, of course not, you can't beat up a kindergardener. personally, you went easy on her compared to what I might of done. Don't worry about it, or feel bad!

Answer 20

couldnt she just get spanked wit her clothes on. ma parents spanked me rite then and there with watever they could find i usually got da belt. and now that im older i see it really did teach me and helped me learn ma lesson but thats reallly degrading when you make them get undressed fully and when she gets older she will be resentful about that bc thats not right.

Answer 21

yes ok first off take off all her clothes then spank her like come on and u really shouldnt hit your children no one does that anymore and im not saying that cuz no one else does that means you shouldnt its just plain wrong, and a nine year old beating up a kindegardener like come on get the kid some therapy

Answer 22

I wouldn't have made her get undressed, but I would have spanked her 'til her eyes crossed and asked  her if it was as good for her as her her abuse was for the kindergarten child?If she had said anything, I would have said 'I'm sorry I just couldn't resist and next time it will be worse, because I cannot resist so you BETTER learn to behave.

Tell the MIL that if she doesn't like it tough, your not going to let your daughter grow up to be some out of control little punk, your going to make her into a respectable adult if it kills you both.