Was your child planned or an accident?

Question

I've been reading a lot on Y!A about unmarried couples living together and having one or more children. If this is the case with you, then

(i) Was your child planned or an accident?

(ii) If planned, why did you choose not to marry?

(iii) Why have you chosen to remain unmarried?

(iv) Have you agreed on the child's future should you decide to separate?

Answer 1

Both children a total ACCIDENT!!! I love them so much and their father and I, after 5 years, are MARRIED!! I definitely don't want anymore though.

Answer 2

Both kids were planned. My first one: I was married to another man. We were married 4 months before I got pregnant. And guess what? I did everything by the book, up until I got married. And then it failed...everything was planned. It proves nothing to me, married or not. Relationships still fail. Just because you are married and have kids in the marriage does not prove that you are a saint and didn't have children out of wedlock. Nor does it guarantee a happy, healthy, amazing marriage. It just shows that you got married. And as far as I am concerned...there seems to be a lot more bullsh*t when your married.

2nd baby, was planned. And we got engaged 3 days before we found out we were expecting. Were still not married, nor are we divorced from our other spouses. But when that happens, were getting married.

We have done nothing by the book and everything between us is pretty unconventional. And guess what, we have a fabulous marriage

( because we are common law ). It seems so hard to find other people in this section that has what I have....a fabulous marriage, an amazing husband and a perfect life.

It wouldn't matter if we were paper married or not....we still have something unparallel to anything else in this world.

Answer 3

Child planned after being married 5 years.  Still married (15 years now).  Hopefully separation or divorce is not in our future, but if so - we have discussed the possibilities and have a solid plan for our child's future.

Answer 4

7 years into first marriage, the child was an accident. Still not really sure how this happened because she was a closet L*****n and really didn't like to be intimate.

Answer 5

I'm married with one daughter, planned. But to sort of answer your question my husbands sister has two kids and is unmarried. The first was an accident as they were quite young but they have lasted the years. They maintain that they don't need to marry and I guess they are right. Why bother when they are happy as they are? For me personally it was always important that I married before having kids. I wanted to be sure my husband-to-be married ME because of love and not out of a sense of duty. Also I wanted to have a family under the same name. How can anyone bare to have their children with a different surname? Wouldn't feel right.  

Answer 6

both child unplanned.  married.