Was your husband super selfish during your pregnancy?

Question

So lately I have noticed that I'm married to the most selfish man in the world. I dont know if its just me but my husband doesnt seem to give a sh*t about anyone but himself. He never asks me how im feeling or anything like that. Is it just my hormones (im 32 weeks) or am I not alone out there? Is anyone else feeling like there totally alone in their pregnancy? And do men get better after the baby is born or worse? What should I do?

Answer 1

gurl, my ex was always such an ***, I am suprised I even let him have a chance to get me  pregnant.  An the birthing experience was even worse, he was such a dog, bitching and moaning about him being tired and hungry.  Man... well, just makesure to bring a good support person in there woth you.. don't sount on him to be comforting!!

Answer 2

honestly, it's you and your hormones.  you are going through a huge psychological change regarding carrying, delivering, and taking care of this child, that he is not going through.  He is not having the thoughts you are.  and they don't get better about it after baby is born either. :(

Answer 3

Mine was pretty good during pregnancy, but to tell you the truth he got worse after the baby was born.  Had very little sympathy for how tired I was (he went to work while I stayed home with the baby - and got up for ALL the night feedings and wakings) and kept wanting to buy things even though he knew we had to save money.  It's rough.  I think having a baby makes women more mature and makes men regress sometimes.

Answer 4

don't stress yourself out about it all men go through this stage at some point my husband did the same thing and its mostly your hormones making.you think more about it than you normally would... but if it really bothers you then talk to him about it more than likely he won't even realize he's  doing it... just let him know how you feel... good luck girl and congrats!

Answer 5

ok GUYs do seem to be a little selfish about things. I was. Only because i did not know how bad she was feeling. You need to talk to him. Let him know how much you do need him.  32 weeks is very close for both of you. Please talk to him. Sometimes us guys don't know  how bad we are Fn-up. Until its too late. Dont  make the assumption that he knows what he is doing wrong.  We need direction most of the time. If  this is his first then its normal just talk to him ask him what you need him to do. it will be ok. trust me. talk to each other ask him what he wants. we need love too.!  Alot of LOVE.. you girls can be selfish too!  

Answer 6

maybe you need to ask him how he is feeling. He could be scared or worried about the future and not know what you want or how to help you at the moment. Hormones do seem to intensify things so tread lightly when you guys talk. You don't want to be accusing, but it's important to talk openly because life becomes busy when you have a child and it can be hard to find times to talk when you're not feeling tired or stressed.

All the best

Answer 7

It is probably a mix of your husband being slightly inconsiderate, and your hormones. Perhaps you should tell him that it might seem over the top, but you feel like he's being totally selfish. Acknowledge that you know it could be the hormones making you feel it worse, but that there must be some truth in it, otherwise you wouldn't feel this way at all.

My husband has been absolutely darling. I am only 8 weeks at the moment though... I just make sure i tell him what i'm thinking, feeling, and going through pregnancy-wise. When the crying thing starts up (OMG! so annoying!) I try to tell him what's upset me, and that i know it's silly to be crying about it. He says 'it's ok, you can cry if you want to.'

What should you do? Talk to him. He wont know that there's anything wrong unless you tell him.

Answer 8

Guys are totally oblivious as to what woman go through during pregnancy. They think that it's just the equivalent of getting fat or something. Speak up if you want him to get something for you. Let him know how uncomfortable you are or if feeling down. I don't think men have the brain power to think of these things on their own. Its how they're wired. Like my man would never wake up and take care of baby unless I woke him p and told him to. Some men just need to be told these things while some can do it on their own. Doesn't mean he's selfish just probably doesn't realize.  

Answer 9

If you only noticed he was horrible during pregnancy and didn't notice it before............

Might sound like a cop out, but hormones can change the way you think pretty badly!!

My partner does so much for me, yet there are days that I think he's the most horrible and lazy person in the world.

I'm sure once the baby is born it will be fine, if it does get worse all you can do is talk to him. If he doesn't start shaping up then give him the option of help or leave.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 10

Girl, I totally hear you on this one. Im 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I just started being able to get my guy to answer the cell phone every time I call. I would say things like "oh my back hurts", or "oh my feet are swollen" and he just says, "hun, I know how you feel". Is he kidding me or what!? I don't know how many back rubs I have given him during my pregnancy.

He works construction and works very hard, I give him that, but he has had no sympathy for me this whole pregnancy. Now that I am going on 4 days past due, he is just now in tune with making sure he answers the phone promptly when he is at work in case I go into labor.. but other than that, he just does his own thing and I still have to clean up his clothes on the floor and dishes on the table. I don't think they "really" know, you know? So no, you are not alone.

Answer 11

I can most definitely relate to your situation. I am 31 weeks and my husband is just like that. I mean he feels the baby move and ONCE in a while talks to the baby, but other than that he never asks me how I feel, never ever ever asks if I would like a back rub, never helps around the house, and I mean never. It's like some men just don't completely understand what women go through while pregnant.

So the short version - you are definitely not alone!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

Answer 12

it probably is just your hormones i am 38 weeks and feel the same way especially with my sister she is always sending her kids over to my house and when i say no she acts like she does not know why i am the pregnant one she should be taking my kids to her house so i can get some rest instead of trying to drop her kids off every weekend i am due in 12 days you would think that she would show a little courtesy instead of arguing with me for not adding her 2 to my three every weekend

Answer 13

It's probably more the hormones making you more sensitive than anything.  Also you're probably always talking about what you're feeling and how you're doing that they don't have to ask.  I know I'm always telling my husband about my discomforts and what not, so he doesn't ask.  They generally get better afterwards.  For men they feel left out too because you're experiencing everything and they have to just hear about it and not really be fully involved (physically).  Afterwards they actually have a role and can be really involved (feedings, changings, burping, etc...).  Good luck!