Wat do ya find the funniest joke ever?

Question

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Answer 1

A mommy mole stuck her head out the whole and said yumm i smell pancakes.

The daddy mole stuck his head out and said yummm i smell eggs.

The baby wanted to smell to but his parents were blocking the whole.

He gave up and said all i smell is mole asses (like molasses)

not that funny but it makes me giggle!

Answer 2

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way

from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for!

dinner tonight." He then

blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulp mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it

feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted.

Answer 3

learn to speak Chinese/English:

1) That's not right .......................Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP................................ Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man ........................... Dum ***

5) Small Horse ......................... Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach? ............ Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table ........ Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift ........... Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here ................. Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet ........... Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone ................ No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight ................ Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile .......... Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive ........... Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great .................................. Fa Kin Su Pah

Answer 4

Baby balloon was getting too old to sleep in his parents bed, and mummy balloon and daddy balloon wanted their 'alone' time. Baby balloon didn't like sleeping in his own bed though so one night after asking if he could sleep in his mummy and daddies bed once more daddy balloon yelled at him that he couldn't because he was a big boy now. So baby balloon went to bed but didn't fall asleep. He waited and waited until he was sure his parents were asleep then he crept into their room and tried to squeeze between them but it turned out daddy balloon had been right - he was too big! Instead of giving up baby balloon let some air out of daddy balloon and tried again, but he still couldn't fit. So he let some air out of mummy balloon - still no joy. Eventually after letting some air out of himself he snuggled into their bed. In the morning daddy balloon was very upset. 'I'm very disappointed in you. You've let me down, you've let your mother down, but worst of all - you've let yourself down.'

Answer 5

Having just finished reading a story to the sixth-grade class, the

teacher decided to check the student's knowledge of some of the

vocabulary that had been used. "Who knows what the word 'adolescent'

means?" she asked.

Out of the entire class of 35, not one child raised a hand.

After a few more silent moments, she decided to give them a hint:

"Adolescent - it's something all of you are, and I am not."

Finally Little Johnny tentatively raised his hand, and in a very soft

voice said, "Virgins?"

Answer 6

Gordon Brown and new labour...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Answer 7

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrot.

LMAO ITS TOTALLY UN FUNNY. I LOVE IT :D

Answer 8

Q: wot did the barman say to the sandwhich?

A: sorry but we dont serve food in here

haha

Answer 9

americans and mexicans were competing who could cut down the most trees with a chainsaw. the first day the americans barely cut down three when the mexicans cut down 100. the next day the americans barely cut down 2 and the mexicans cut down 200. the third day the americans barely through some miracle cut down 1 and the mexicans cut down 300. so the americans go over and ask the mexicans how did you cut down so many trees and we barely cut down one. and the mexican said, well I take the chainsaw and I turn it on and....,  OOOOOOHHHHHH so you turn it ON...

Answer 10

whats pink and fluffy?

pink fluff!

(lol! yeah I know its so not that funny but I had to share!)

Answer 11

I asked my mate "who gave you that love bite on your forehead"?

he said "I did it my self "

So I said HOW did you "bite yourself on the forehead"?

he said "I stood on a chair".