Wat would you rate my poem?

Question

ONE DOOR

i open one door

another comes in my

way

so many paths that lead to

my future

but no path is the same

do i turn left or do

i turn right?

is this wrong or is this right

if i lean on one person

will it be ture

or if they lean on me

wat should i do or will i be a star or will i live large or will i be so poor i live in my car

i want to know what will happen before it

will happen

i want to live the american dream

i want to live like a king!

Answer 1

its great but i would change king to queen

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Answer 2

7 out of ten it was ...goodish.

Answer 3

NICE! :D

2 Thumbs up

Answer 4

Figure out a way to make this line shorter:

wat should i do or will i be a star or will i live large or will i be so poor i live in my car

Spell check your poem....a few typos here.

every place you use the word "i" is not capitalized.  are you saying you aren't important?

in the last line, I would capitalize 'I" want to live like a king!

Answer 5

8.5/10

Answer 6

Cliche' but in saying that I still liked reading it...one and a bit thumbs!

Answer 7

i liked it,very good. =)

please rate mine?   http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 8

That was great, cheerchick! By reading your poem, readers understand you're pretty ambitious. Haha.

I appreciate how you are showing a little mystery and confusion in your poem. You express your feelings of being puzzled.

My advice is that you change some of your lines, especially the ones in the last paragraph. Your topic seems to wander from it's mood. You should change that.

Good job! =D

Answer 9

it's great

Answer 10

It's like a dickinson without the dashes =D

Answer 11

This is good. Tell me what you rate my rhyme

I'm a Young Money Millionaire

Tougher than Nigerian hair

My criteria compared to your career

Just isn't fair

I'm a venereal disease

Like a menstrual bleed

Threw the pencil it leak

On the sheet of the tablet in my mind

Cause I don't write ****

Cause I ain't got time

Cause my seconds, minutes, hours

Go to the almighty dollar

And the almighty power

Of dat chit cha cha chopper

Sister, Brother, Son, Daughter

Father muthaf**ka copper

Got da maserati dancin

On the bridge p***y poppin

Tell the coppers

Hahaha you can't catch Em

You can't stop Em

I go by them goon rules

If you can't beat Em

Then you bop Em

You can't man Em

Then you mop Em

You can't stand Em

Then you drop Em

You pop Em

Cause we pop Em

Like Orville Redenbacher

Muthaf**ka I'm Ill

Yeah

A Million here

A Million there

Sicilian ***** with long hair

With coke in her derriere

Like smokin the thinest air

I open the Lamborghini

Hopin them crackers see me

Like look at that b*****d Weezy

He's a beast

He's a dog

He's a muthaf**kin' problem

Ok your a goon

But what's a goon to a goblin

Nothin' nothin' you ain't scarin' nothin'

On some ****** bullshit

Call em Dennis Rodman

Call me what you want *****

Call me on my Sidekick

Never answer when it's private

d**n I hate a shy *****

Don't u hate a shy *****

Yeah I ate a shy *****

She ain't shy no more

She changed her name to My *****

Yea ***** that's my *****

So when she ask for the Money

When you through

Don't be surprised *****

And it ain't trickin if u got it

But u like a ***** with no ***

You ain't got ****

Muthaf**ka I'm Ill, not sick

And I'm ok but my watch sick

Yea my drop sick

Yea my glock sick

And my knot thick

I'm it

Muthaf**ka I'm Ill...

They say I'm rappin like BIG

Jay

And Tupac

Andre 3000

Where is Erykah Badu at

Who that

Who that said they gon beat Lil Wayne

My name ain't Bic

But I keep dat flame man

Who that one that do that boy

Ya knew that, chew dat, Swallow

And I be the ****

Now u got loose bowels

I don't owe you like two vowels

But I would like for u to pay me by the hour

And I'd rather be pushin flowers

Then to be in the penn sharin' showers

Tony told us this world was ours

And the bible told us every girl was sour

Don't play in her garden

And don't smell her flower

Call me Mr. Carter or Mr. Lawn Mower

Boy I got so many b*****s

Like I'm Mike Lowry

Even Gwen Stefani

Said she couldn't doubt me

Muthaf**ka I say life

Ain't **** without me

Chrome lips pokin out

The coupe like it's poutin

I do what I do and u do

What u can do about it

***** I can turn a crack rock

Into a mountian

Dare me

Don't u compare me

Cause there ain't nobody near me

They don't see but they hear me

They don't feel me but they fear me

I'm Illi

Answer 12

It's pretty good.....7/10