We're having major trouble with my 7 year old grandson?

Question

Last month, my oldest daughter took me to Las Vegas with her family because she needed another adult to supervise when she and her husband were out doing adult things. My other grandson, got very angry that HE wasn't included in the trip. I can understand to a point, since up until about 2 years ago, he WAS included in everything they did since he is so close in age to the youngest of my older daughter. We've promised that we will take him to Vegas, or Disneyworld as soon as we can save enough money to afford a trip but he is unconvinced. Now, he is acting out, being rude, not doing his school work and just being an all around brat. any suggestions how we can deal with this problem?

Oh, his parents(mother and stepfather) split up about 6 months ago as well, and my daughter has moved back home with her 2 kids. it was because the ex was really starting to get violent, and she was scared he was going to hit the boy

Answer 1

He is probably just angry with everything thats going on with his life right now.  I would guess the major issue isnt the trip, but everything seems devastating to him right now, and he feels the need to be included.  I would see about having him talk to a counselor.

Answer 2

He probably felt left out on the trip, but I think it's more the break up of his parents that is causing the disruption.  He could have gotten over the trip, but his parents and the fighting that he must have seen or heard before your daughter left.  I would suggest some counseling, sometimes children can tell people things that they can't tell their own family.  He is only 7 and this is probably very hard on him and he feels frustrated with everything that has changed, please just don't write him off as a brat, at 7 it's very hard to convey what he is feeling inside so he acts out.

Answer 3

it sounds like he has had a lot of changes in his life over the past few months.  he may be having some kinds of attachment issues.  it may be something worth looking into.  next time he gets really upset, listen to him  don't return the anger, just listen to what he has to say about his feelings.  a few good websites are www.attachment.org and www.beyondconsequences.com.  he probably doesn't have the disorder, as it is typically developed when children are very young, but he may have some slight attachment issues, and the tips on these websites may help him return to the happy little guy he used to be.  best of luck, and i hope he is able to start feeling better!

Answer 4

He needs therapy...he's had a lot of turmoil in his life and the only way he can vent his frustration, anger, hurt is to act out. He needs to talk to someone and your daughter should be involved with his healing process too.

Answer 5

Try contacting the school counsler.  At my son's school there is a divorce group for children who are dealing with a divorce.  I have seen several kids helped imensly by this group.  It is a hard age and he is going through a lot.  Make sure he knows what behaviors are not tolerated.  Find things that he likes to take away when he does act out.  This will help him to think twice before acting.  I hope that you can get him into a group at school or at least have him seen individually.  If you can get both peaces going, his behavior should start to turn around in a month or two.  Good luck.

Answer 6

Your last paragraph highlights the problem accurately, in that your grandson is struggling to adjust to a new environment within a one parent family, the trip compounded it, it was after the break up, though he felt left out by other family members.

I was brought up much differently, very strict, but I can see its not going to work via the stick, it needs  order  to be returned, with a lot of TLC.

As much as I hate to say it counselling is required to fix this, quickly.

Answer 7

sounds like he is hurt and wants attention.  Tell him if he's good at school, you'll do something together.  Tell him if you don't hear anything negative for a week and he listens, plan going to a park together or doing something fun.  He wants attention!  I'd consider getting him counseling because of the situation with his parents.  he might not know how to work through it and it may affect him later in life.  I guess when a parent decides to go somewhere alone, the child is just going to have to expect it.  Parents do have lives of their own, and i'm sure they had him in as much as possible, but they still need some sort of individuality.  He just has to get over that, and the sooner the better.  Let him pout about it.  But as far as everything else, praise the good things he does and give him lots of love.