We're weaning. "Crying it out" ended up keeping the house up alllll night. Now what?

Question

DD is 14 months old. I'm trying to get her to three and a half nursings per day--when she wakes up; at dinner; before bed; and five minutes per side on weekends before her nap. She's at daycare during the week and naps fine without nursing, but she's addicted to the breast when she's anywhere near mine! She often wakes up in the night and looks to nurse to go back to sleep. I've had better luck keeping her occupied and her mind off nursing during the day. We tried (at many Y!Answerers' suggestions) to let her cry it out and she'll eventually tire and go back to sleep. Well, last night she awoke at 2 am. After a little while, DH went up to check on her and try to help her go back down. It seemed to work, until he got back downstairs. She proceeded to cry and scream all night. I'm not sure she ever went back to sleep--we turned the monitor off, and I dozed in and out of sleep. When I was awake, she was screaming. By 6:40 (normal wake up time) I went upstairs--she was fussing. She nursed and was ready to start the day. She has 1 two-hour nap per day so I know she's not getting too much sleep. But she I worry she won't sleep at all unless she nurses? Some nights she does sleep through; some nights she wakes up and insists on nursing before she goes back to sleep. Last night, no boob, no sleep. Thoughts?

Answer 1

um... im at the age of babysiting. i babysit for my cuzin too. shes almost 6 months.

i really dont know the answer to this but i will try.

maybe trying to play with her or make her tired right before you breast feed her. then when shes tired and its her time to eat, feed her.

i know sometimes feeding makes the baby tired. then put her in her crib and leave her there with a t-shirt you wore today. she wil think your holding her still. hopefully that helps. now plz answer my question!!!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 2

Dont let her cry alone that is mean and sends a message that you dont care (which im sure you do or you wouldn't need answers. If you go into her she will expect breast...i am an advocate for feeding on demand but i also understand that parents have needs too. Try letting dad go into her and lying with her til she goes back to sleep....perhaps the company and security will soothe her, give her a cuddly toy too and let dad make a habit of saying night night to both baby and teddy... she may eventually just look for teddy when she wakes up at night...it worked with my son. Eventually dad may just be able to go in and stroke her back to calm her...thats all my son needs at times, i dont always have to pick him up. Giving your child company whilst she cries is not the same as giving in to her, it just sends her the message that you are not giving in to her feeding but shes not alone either.

good luck xx

Answer 3

I think you owe your daughter an apology.

Answer 4

Maybe try a piece of your clothing in her bed.  Smells like you, she might think it is you.  A dummy...  Be consistent in control crying.  Comfort her when she is distress, in a week she'll be better.  

Answer 5

Being consistent. If you are going to let her cry.. then you have to stick to it because as soon as you go running to her she knows it's gonna work and that's her answer...

My son did that stuff too and I stuck to the crying it out part.. but what we didn't know was he's suffering from Autism.. none the less the crying it out worked and he was waking 5-10 times a night just to have a bottle... therapists told me if I'm gonna let him cry.. then let him cry... I can go check on him to make sure he's not hurt, wet or uncomfortable... and well..that's what I did.. took about 6 weeks.. but he eventually stopped.. he doesn't sleep all night still but he doesn't cry, now he bangs his head against the walls (which are padded, whole nother story)....

None the less the crying stopped....

Answer 6

the key with sleep training is to be consistent. if you give in to her she has only learned one thing - she can't fall asleep on her own and that's exactly what you don't want to teach her. keep going and in a few nights time she should be sleeping either much better or she might be sleeping through. you might need to change CIO a little to suit you better. it sounds like last night was pretty bad but it does get better. i know with my son it took a while to first get him to stop nursing to sleep and then to get him to sleep on his own. i did it in steps and it took a little longer but it was easier once we got to the go-to-sleep-on-his-own part.

don't worry. she does not need to be nursed to sleep forever but you have to keep going in order for it to work. you're doing great so far and the worst part should be over. she'll probably not have much energy to stay up all night tonight.

and once you've all managed this, the rewards are amazing. she'll be a different little girl because she's not tired and grumpy from nursing all night and you'll be a nicer mummy from getting some proper sleep too.

Answer 7

First of all I am against letting them cry it out. I know it works for some people. But I just can not possibly understand how letting a baby be miserable can teach them anything positive. So let me just get that aside before I start because I am not trying to be mean or offensive. But I have kids and not one single one of mine have cried it out and all of them have learned to put themselves to bed and to sleep by the time they were a year and a half.

The key is be consistant.

You have established a routine with nursing. If you want to change your routine you need to replace it with something else. Fourteen months is too young to understand why you are changing your routine. She knows what she is comfortable with and what she has had. She doesnt know why it has to stop now.

There are many other ways to be comforted...it may mean a couple days of tough nights but she will soon see that other things can soothe her too.

Whatever you chose to do it may be rocking her, playing music, rubbing her back etc...to her you are just taking the boob away and saying no more figure it out on your own. She needs help.

What benefits does she get from just screaming half the night?

What rewards does it give you?

Like I said with anything you may (and probably will) have a couple rough nights. However as long as you are consistant in developing a new routine she will soon be adjusted

Answer 8

Maybe if you replace breast with cup? I know it's not good to replace one bad habit with another but I think its easier to take a cup away some time down the road than to completely take your self away. I think the cry it out method is ok for like 10 to 15 min though not all night. Nobody benefits from that. That's my suggestion pump some breast milk into a 1 stage sippy and see if that works. Oh and if she wakes up at night have an extra cup ready. Hope it works out weening is tough. Good Luck

Answer 9

Maybe she's not ready to give up nursing yet. With my son I weaned him at the usual time, but also let him have the breast whenever he wanted it. He eventually lost interest of his own accord without the trauma of being refused it. Once breast feeding is over, it's over for good. Why shorten the precious time of nursing? Wean at the same time as breastfeeding.

P.s. I don't think babies should be left to cry for more than five minutes without being comforted.