We all know you can tell how patriotic a British gentleman is by the size and cut of his moustache?

Question

But how do you tell how patriotic a British lady is? Surly its not as my chum the Major suggests namely the size of her manhood? Poor old fool hasn't been the same since that unfortunate misunderstanding in Amsterdam with that lady-boy.

Answer 1

Its by the way she eats her bananas Dear Boy!  There's the most spiffing gane of Leapfrog in Cambridge next week, are you in?

Answer 2

Dam that Margaret Thatcher had brass ones!

Cheerio, rah-rah & all that rot/....

Answer 3

huh?

Answer 4

Guffaw,guffaw,guffaw...What?What?

Answer 5

Oh I say, rather :)

Answer 6

She could have the union jack dyed onto her pubic hair.

Answer 7

'The size of her manhood'?  Nay, Sir, rather the size of her gardens and her willingness to fend off uninvited invaders.  Rejecting all offers of a cyanide capsule, a British lady willingly parachutes into dangerous territory (how are your grounds, Rotter?) and routs the enemy by enticing him by means of a billet doux in her dead letter box into her boudoir, whereupon she unveils her secret weapons of mass destruction.  Whilst your chum the Major may have supposed these to be bazookas, Rotter, these are actually fine china cups of good hot tea, strong enough to keep a British gentleman's spoon perpendicular and his moustaches happily horripilating.  Scones, anyone?

Answer 8

He should have seen the signs in the eyebrows that is where to look.

Answer 9

Confusion reigns, my second cousin Countess Lucretia Fawcetti- Smytheroni (from the Italian side of the family) was often mistook for her brother Count Luigi Fawcetti-Smytheroni due to the moustache, they both sported handsome handlebar adornments, Luigi by choice and Lucretia by genetics. It wasn't till 8 months into a heady relationship with a stable boy that all was revealed, the stable boy whose name is Vincenti, thought he was having a homosexual liaison with Luigi. You can imagine the distress it caused, Luigi was fit to be tied for he had a passion for the stable boy and shot Lucretia in the right buttock (he was aiming for her head at the time) she in turn hit him on the head with a spade and comatosed him for 8 weeks, fortunately Vincenti saw the funny side and they now live as man and wife in Blackpool. Lucretia entered a convent and is now known as Sister Borgia.

Answer 10

A lady's patriotism may be measured by how stiff she can make her husband's. (Upper lip, of course).  Behind every British gentleman is a woman in stockings (that's when he's not wearing them).  Toodle pip.

Answer 11

How about the size of her norks? get a load of these. Tally ho!

Answer 12

The patriotism of a British lady is directly proportional to the number of bricks she carries in her handbag.

This is why female bricklayers are very patriotic indeed.

Answer 13

The size of her lips.

No not those ones rotter...t'other ones ;)

Bon soir!