We are adopting a baby, due in August. It is private and i dont know where to begin! Help please????

Question

This is a private adoption. I work with the mother. Chances are she will deliver early and i don't even know where to begin. Any help would be so appreciated.

Answer 1

You need to get a homestudy (which can take 8 weeks for FBI background checks), and you'll need to hire an attorney. The mother should have her own attorney, of her choice. Your state laws may require counseling, a due diligent search for the father, etc.

A month may not be enough time to get everything done, so the mom should plan on taking the baby home, or you'll have to have some kind of temporary custody while everything is in the works.

Answer 2

I think you need to sit back and rethink this whole thing!  First of all a birth mother has a certain time frame after she signs those papers-like a few weeks-to change her mind.  Not to mention the fact that you work with her.  Also-why have there been no lawyers or agency involved yet?  Are you ready to be a mother?  I do understand wanting to be a mother-but this sounds like it is happening pretty fast and there are so many things that could go wrong doing it this way!  or maybe I just don't have enough info.  Best of luck-get a lawyer for sure!

Answer 3

Hi Bev,

Congrats!!! My husband and I have just received news as well, but the mother that has asked us to adopt her baby is due in October. We were advised that the mother or the attorney has to send a letter of intent or place public notice of her intent; so the father is aware or is given an opportunity. That is if she thinks she knows the father. That way you do not have the father knocking on your door a few years from now. You definitely need to get an attorney to help you. If you get an agency involved if she has selected you as a parent. In some cases I have heard that some agencies may not let her select her parents. Good luck.

Answer 4

Hi Bev, If this baby is due in august I would have started way before now. You need a family or adoption attorney. You need a home study done...are you related to this lady that is giving up her child? This process can take sooo long..good luck

Answer 5

Pick one and fast, fast, fast! There's a lot to do and file and you're running out of time.

Answer 6

Advise the mother-to-be to get some unbiased independent counselling and then wait until after the baby is born.  No mother-to-be knows how they are going to really feel until the baby arrives.

Give her plenty of space to come to a decision based on her and her baby's needs and don't burden her by laying your needs and desires at her feet.