We are looking to adopt?

Question

My husband, Joel and I have one child, Landon who is 5, but our daughter Mikaelya was due last Friday so hopefully it will happen soon. We have had a lot of trouble conceiving and the doctor said this had to be our last child. When we got married, Joel wanted 4 kids and I wanted 1 or two. We have now compromised to having 3. So, maybe when Mikaeyla is 2 or 3 we want to adopt a child. Any info you can give us?

Answer 1

At adoption.com you can set up a profile for your family where birthmothers can view it then you could be selected as the family for their child when it is born.

Answer 2

You compromised to having 3?

Maybe you should count yourselves lucky and blessed to have the number of children you are able to produce. Now is the time to focus and prepare for a peaceful birth, and caring for the children you have.

Answer 3

you have every right to adopt but i think various tests should be performed on the child you  are about to adopt . for all you know that child will not be of a faster intelligent quotient and that might cause you to say had i known:

which is obviosly at last

Answer 4

Another pregnant woman who wants a child already...

Ask yourself why two children can't be enough for you.  We can't control everything, and I don't believe adopting a child to hit a 'number' that you and your husband have set is right.

Adopted children are special needs kids.  Before they get to a permanent home, they have lost their entire family, so very different from everyone else in your home.

As someone who grew up in an adoptive home with my parents 2 bio kids--I will tell you that I think I felt more isolated than other adopted people I know.  Your children will have things in common with you, your husband, and each other.  An adopted child will be the unique individual who reflects his/her biological family.

If you're thinking that there are lots of infants who need homes, you're wrong.  There ARE lots of kids in foster care who need good homes, but if you go that way, I think you're YEARS from giving a child like that the security they need.

In the US there are 90 couples for every 1 infant waiting to adopt.  Internationally, there are major problems in several countries, and most are NOT true orphans, meaning they HAVE at least one parent.

You need to do a lot of research, should you decide to go forward.  Why not concentrate what you have, and give your best to the children you brought into this world?

Answer 5

adopting is great !!!!!!!!

and make sure to try to get your five year old to understand adoption well

Answer 6

You've been the parents of an only child for five years, that's a doddle in my opinion and I would recommend waiting to see how you cope with parenting two - they deserve your time and attention and can be quite a handful!

Answer 7

Kelsi,

   Hey there... No baby yet, huh? She is a stubborn lil thing... lol  Tell her to wait until the 15th. Thats the day my little guy was born :) Two years ago already! Mikaeyla is gorgeous! (That name has been on our list forever too :) I will be praying for you that everything goes well :) Take LOTS of bubble baths right now!! That will help you some.

    Ok... on with this question. This is a touchy subject for me  but one I think I must share with you. Please consider the whole picture with adoption and know every child is different. BUT here is my families adoption horror story.

   My mother & step father fostered a little boy a few years ago for a little over a year. With all of us children grown up. My sister was the youngest heading off to college at the time none of us wanted my parents to adopt. I was just turning 30, my brother 28 and my sister 18 - our parents should be enjoying life, not raising another child. But this is what they wanted. He (the little boy) was 10 and had some serious behavioral problems. My parents were told he was abused as a child with no sexual issues. The decided to adopt... so all of us kids were supportive. Not in agreement, but supportive.  Soon after they adopted him, he started acting out, never listened.... Would not come home after school... Lied, lied and lied. Just stupid things that turned into bigger and bigger messes. Accessed p**n at school... stole things... It just went on from there. Then one day mom received a call from my cousin. Her son was the youngest child in our family at the time (7 years old). The boy my mom adopted sexually assulted him 3 times until he finally went and told his mother. At this moment my brother (?) was in boyscout camp. My mother called social services and had him removed immediatly and placed in a detention home for children with sexual issues. As everything unwound it came out that the adoption service withheld info that he attacked (sexual) other childern and animals in prior homes. I will stop this story here. I don't think you want to know the mess my parents are going thru right now trying to get the adoption overturned. OR the list of the other victims he claims to have sexually acted out on.  The youngest victim he claimed was my son at 3 months old. I don't think it happened. I NEVER trusted this boy. And if I thought it happened, god himself couldn't protect him

I am not trying to gross you out... I only want to help you. We have gotten to be friends over the last little bit. I want you to know that not every adoption is pretty and soooo much is left unsaid sometimes just to place the children. Please consider the beautiful family you both have... Love them to pieces like you do.... And let it be. I always wanted a house full too. They told me I could never have children. I had Brody when I was 30. Last year I suffered two miscarriages. The last being the hardest on my heart. I was 3 months preggy.  Being 33 and having my second with slight complications I am doubting if we'll have anymore either. But you know what? I am ok with that. Brody won't be alone and I'll have two lil ones to spoil :)  

Just think long & hard Kelsi. You'll have your hands plenty full shortly :)

Lyn

Answer 8

Well I can give you a tiny bit of advice.  If you do your home-study first through a private agency then go through the state it will go faster.  If you wait and do everything through the sate it is going to take a lot longer for the home-study to be done as case workers are so overworked. Adoption takes a LOT of time and money if you go private.  But if you want to go a little easier do foster into adoption through the state.  And you have to understand that there are NOT a lot of newborns to be had.  Most children are over age 5 and are special needs which could be anything from a medical thing to being anything other than white, or are part of a sibling group.This is something the two of you really need to consider when thinking about adopting and make the choice that is right for you and your two natural children. Adoption is a wonderful thing but it can also be heartbreaking sometimes.  Good luck.

Answer 9

Don't let all these people who come here with their horror stories scare you.

If you want to adopt, you should adopt. First, you should find out as much as you can about adoption. Read a LOT. Go to a few adoption classes (adoption agencies have these.) Join an adoptive parents support group.

If you still want to adopt, you should go through with it.

We adopted both of our children (they were born in China.) We are a very happy family.