We can't get our 7 year old daughter to be good at school!?

Question

Our 7 y/o daughter is in first grade, shes struggled all year with behavior, ranging from not listening, hands and not completeing work, and a few other things. Her school marks behavior with a star for a great day, check mark for an o.k. day, and a circle for having to sit in safe seat, and and ! for an all out bad day.

We've tried everything from meeting with the teacher, spanking, grounding, taking things away, awarding for stars, just seems that we have tried everything.

The teacher says she doesn't see her having ADD or ADHD! The teacher recently set home a note wanting to hold our daughter back a grade because she was behind in reading, and felt that could be the problem behind her bevaior, I have gotten her a tutor, and have noticed a great improvement in her reading already, and still her bevaior is not improving...what else can we do!!! HELP

Answer 1

wow it seems like you have tried everything. Keep trying and don't give up. Maybe she just need to mature a little.

When she comes home from school. Have a snack and do homework. check her answers and discuss ones she has gotten wrong. then go out and play with her as a reward for both of your hard work.

Go to the library and get books with 1 in the corner. these are easy short books for beginner readers

Answer 2

I have a 6 year old daughter and I have noticed that when she is not getting enough of my time and attention; she tends to act out.  Is it possible she just needs a little tlc from mom and dad?  Does she have any siblings?  Have there been any major changes on the home front? Just try to be consistent and continue to work with her, I know it is frustrating but hopefully it is just a phase!

P.S. Holding her back a grade may not be such a bad thing.....

Answer 3

You might try getting her tested for ADD and ADHD. Sometimes when kids act that way it's not their fault. Maybe try getting easy books for her to read like dr. Seuss, and reading with her for about 15-30 minutes everyday.

Answer 4

What is your daughter's social life like? Does she have many friends? What I'm getting at is that your daughter may be acting out to get attention due to boredom or loneliness. If this is the problem, spanking her will do nothing but make her act even more rebellious. Does she have any siblings that she could play with?

Keep punishments to a minimal if you can. Most people do not know how to correctly administer punishments and often the children just avoid doing the behaviour in front of the punisher or become withdrawn from others all together. You could do some research on how punishments work (and how they don't actually work for the most part). Taking things away was a good thing to try, but it seems to have no effect on her like you said. Try rewarding her with spending time with her friends if she shows any improvement in school.  If she lacks a close friend her age, show her some ways that she could befriend another person in her class (hopefully another girl so that she can find it easier to relate).

The reading improvements will come - you said they have started already. You need to make learning fun for her. Something in that classroom setting has put her off of learning...she might feel too nervous, shy or even embarrassed to feel like she can engage in learning at school.

What if you sat in on a few classes with her? I assure you, it will be worth it, even if only for the sole purpose of figuring out what the problems are in class. It could even be the teacher for all you know...some children are VERY bright but have problems with teachers that have said something or did something to embarrass them. By sitting in class with her, not only will she have reassurance that you're there, you can pin point the behaviour isssue.

In the meantime, it would not hurt to see a child psychologist; one who deals with behavioural issues predominantly. Unless you can find one on Yahoo! Answers, I have a feeling you won't find what you're looking for here.

Answer 5

Award her for every time she does well in school.  Make it seem  like learning is fun, or only give her allowance on a point system. When she gets an A on an assignment or when she's reported as good in school, give her money, food, snacks, toys, take her out, etc. You must tell her that she is doing a "great job and keep up the great work, you're my genius."  That makes anyone want to improve their selves to impress that person even more.

Answer 6

ADHD and ADD are neurological conditions and can only be diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist or perhaps a pediatric psychiatrist. A teacher does not have the necessary tools to diagnose it. Perhaps you should consider a neurological evaluation that can pinpoint the situation.  Also, another factor that could be could be hurting her is her age compared to the rest of the class, is she the youngest or one of the youngest and therefore immature in comparison to the rest of her class?  Have you considered her at-home behavior?  If it differs greatly from the one at school, could it be that theres an external factor hindering her?  Maybe she would do better in a different learning enviorment.  Good for you for trying to help her.  Exhaust all possibilities and get second opinions.  Good luck.  Your daughter is lucky to have a mother who faces the difficulties with her!