We get married in 5 weeks and I have some really nosey nosey family members! I need help!!!?

Question

My wedding is in 5 weeks and I am super excited however

My mother thinks it's ok to ask me if I am on Birth control and if I plan on safe s*x. My Future MIL thinks it's ok to tell my husband that we should not have children for 5 or 6 years. My father ask me about My income and his income and what we plan on doing. I don't care if they are my parents but I see that it;s none of there d**n business if and when we have s*x, decided to have kids or what not.

Answer 1

They are asking those questions because they care about you.  Unfortunately, they just don't get boundaries (parents are like that sometimes).  You can either, tell them directly that you are an adult and it's none of their business or just change the subject when they raise those kinds of questions.

Or, you can get extremely graphic in your answer about s*x and then I don't think they will ask you again. ;)

Answer 2

I hear you!  And when you get asked those apalling questions.....you very carefully allow a 10 second pause .....then say "excuse me?"  and then ignore them........it's your life.

Answer 3

This is normal for parents to be nosey and pushey.  Try to ignore it and avoid answering the question.  To the s*x questions, just answer that you are old enough to make those decisions for yourself.  To the money questions, just say that you have a sufficient income to meet your needs.

Answer 4

You both just listen and smile. Be polite, nothing else.

Answer 5

They can ask but you don't need to answer.

Answer 6

Be thankful it's only your parents asking these questions, I have a friend who was asked by her GRANDMOTHER in the receiving line after the ceremony!

Yes, you see it as nosey - they see it as concerned for your future health and financial well being.

Grit your teeth, answer the questions (if you don't they will just keep asking until you do) and get out of the situation as soon as you can.

Good Luck

Answer 7

My mother was the same way, we moved 1200 miles away and on the phone she would still ask the same questions that I took to be our business. But what you might answer with is

"NOYB" and walk away, by the time they figure it out you will be someplace else.  NOYB = none of your business.

Answer 8

Yes, I think this is something that every couple goes through.  My husband and I are always bickering over whose parents are most intrusive and annoying.  But we laugh about it too.  I don't think there's a parent in the world that doesn't butt in with marriage advice, or asking things like "so...when are the grandkids coming?" etc.  

There's really nothing you can do, except explain to your parents that you & your husband will make the decisions yourself, and their advice, while appreciated, is not necessary.  And even if they don't listen -- just realize that parents will be parents & don't let it bother you & you & your hubby can joke about it later. :-)

Congrats on your marriage and good luck!

Answer 9

OML! They are extremely NOSY!!! I would tell my mother it's none of her blamed business, and this subject is NOT up for discussion.

But I'm not in your shoes.. So I would politely tell your in-laws and parents, that these are private matters, and they are not up for public discussion. You and your fiance are ADULTS, and what you choose to do or NOT do in your ADULT married life is none of their business.

good luck to you. :)

Answer 10

They are just concerned about you and the new life you are starting.  Just ignore them and don't let it cloud your day.

If you really can't stand it, next time someone brings it up tell them you really appreciate their concern but you would prefer to not discuss it with them, as it is a private matter involving you and your future husband.

Answer 11

lol....yep, that sounds like "concerned" parents.

i'm engaged now, but we havent even come close to planning a wedding cuz we're pretty poor these days, but i know when we got engaged everyone was asking all sorts of questions. i think parents want to make sure we're making the right decision. and lets face, parents do have experience w/ marriage and kids, so some of that advice should be taken seriously. but we are grown up, so we can make our own decision. our parents we'll always see us as kids and that just how i see it. i have a 5 month old baby now and KNOW that i will be the same way!

lord, i think my dad thinks i'm still a virgin even though i have a baby! lol...we'll always be our parents baby

Answer 12

They can ask whatever they want - you don't have to answer.  Look the "questioner" firmly and silently in the eye for a few seconds and then look away and go on very clearly to the next person, the next topic, the next whatever. Don't return rudeness for rudeness, but don't answer. If they don't get the message the first 10 times, again look the rude questioner in the eye and say, "That topic is a private one between "__" and I, and not open to discussion."

Answer 13

They're your parents--they're concerned about you.  However, you're absolutely right, their questions are rude and intrusive.  What I'd do is the next time one of them asks such a personal question, just respond with "My future hubby and I have discussed this issue, and want to keep the personal details of our marriage private between the 2 of us."  

However, when you guys have your first fight--you can't call your mom up and complain about him--because that's sharing personal details of your marriage with her.  

But--it's a very good standard to hold onto--keeping the personal, private details of your marriage between you and your husband.  You're right, it's no one's business but the 2 of yours, and you should NEVER allow ANYONE to be involved that intimately in your marriage.  You'll be closer as a couple if you follow that guideline.  I wish you both all the best!

Good luck!

Answer 14

i know what you mean  it is SO only you and your fiances business and about the kid thing i know I'm 21 and whenever i talk about children which is all the time because i totally love them my boyfriends mom and sisters are all like oh no not now like if its their decision or something that makes me really mad too!but just tell them that its up to you about all that stuff and that those questions bother you just be honest!!

Answer 15

That's totally normal. They're just getting anxiety about you getting married soon! Just laugh and tell them it's none of their business and that you already know about the birds and the bees. It worked for me!

Answer 16

It's only out of concern...

I would smile and say that you really appreciate their concern, and that:

Mum - We'll decide as a couple what birth control method suits us best.

Mother in Law - I'm sure we'll know as a couple when the time is right for us to have children, and we very much look forward to our kids having wonderful concerned grandparents.

Dad - We know where we're at financially, and we're responsible with our money and expenses - Thanks Dad.

Answer 17

They are just concerned. Don't let it get to you. Congrats and enjoy each other!

Answer 18

Sheesh, how nosey of them. Next time she asks, just say that you and your intended have discussed this. Leave it at that, they don't need to know when or if intend to have children. If she persists, say that children are a blessing and whenyou are blessed with them then you will be happy. Then change the subject. You should also have your fiance tell his mom to knock off the questioning. It's really none of anyone's business but yours and his.