We have a four month old, and my fiance is always trying to make extra money on his computer.?

Question

How can I give him the space he feels he needs, when I feel I need more time together with him. He is on the computer immediatly after work every weeknight, and all weekend throughout the day and night until bed playing poker. He has done this for years and years before we even met. He will lay with the baby for a little while, but he doesnt spend any time with me anymore. I feel we are roomates, not a couple. He feels he wants time away from us. I on the other hand, feel so lonely, and need 'us' time before we get farther apart. He used to say, I should just be happy that he didn't go out to the casino like he did before me, and that he was home. Now he's saying he misses going out. And needs time out of the house. I feel if we spent little more time together, that we'd feel more comftorable together, and he'd 'enjoy' spending time at home with the family, 'off the computer'. How do I help us get what we both need from each other right now, when it's two different directions?

Answer 1

Your fiance has a gambling addiction. Just because he is not out in a casino doesn't mean he doesn't have a problem.  This situation is NOT going to get better unless he gets counseling.  Only then will you be able to focus on your relationship as a couple, as well as his relationship with his family.

Answer 2

sounds like he has a gambling problem and as his wife you need to get him help. call the anonymous hot line.

Answer 3

You both need to be your own person but you should be spending time together. Maybe you should set up a sitter every other week and you both go out together. Have you tried getting together a girls night and you leave the baby with him once a month or so? I found that very helpful. It gives the baby and father time to bond by themselves and in turn gives you a little bit of a break.

You should definitely talk to him about it. Not angrily talk just an honest discussion about how what he's doing is making you feel.

Good luck.

Answer 4

He has an addiction to gambling! Get him help now! you deserve time together and he puts online poker above you and the baby. (Even going as far to say that you should be happy he doesn't spend all the savings/money at a casino instead!!!!) You have to realize how serious this is, and stop enabling him.

"For advice or a treatment referral, call the National Council on Problem Gambling’s confidential hotline at 1-800-522-4700"

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling...

Stop trying to change yourself, you and your baby deserve a dad willing to spend time with you. Do not marry him if he can't fix this problem. It will only get worse with time, not better. No matter what he says.