We have been dating 8 mos, he wants to be married by 9-1 is that too soon?

Question

This will be a second marriage for both of us. He has children, I do not. We are both over 35 years old. I would be moving in with him and his family. What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

I think when you are over 35, and I'm almost there as well, I think that there is no point in waiting specially if you want to have kids.  If you already know you'll be together then what are you waiting for?

Answer 2

I think that as we get older we know what we want and what we dont want.

I think that if you love him and if you two make each other happy then you should get married. At the same time if you have hesitations or you arent sure - wait. Its really as simple as that.

Answer 3

Too soon on many levels....

-you want to take time to get to know the kids better and ease them into the newness of the sitauation

-8 months is still considered the "honeymoon stage"

-it takes FOREVER to plan a wedding (if you're planning on having even a small one, you'd have very little time to prepare)

Give it a little more time.  Make sure you've covered the important bases before you make a life changing decision like this one.  All the best to you!

Answer 4

yes!!! tooooo early! you should be dating for atleast 2 yrs to get married i think! you havent seen all his behaviors with everything.. you most likely dont know everything about him and u need to make sure that the answer 2 this question is yes! can u see yourself bein with this man for the REST of your life... learn from your previous marriage... what went wrong in that one and how can u make sure it wont go wrong in this one.. and same goes for him! good luck!

Answer 5

If you have to ask then you already know the question to this. Too soon.

It's not only you and him that you guys need to think about...he has children so you need to consider them in the equation too.

Answer 6

Because he has children, yes. Too soon. And because you'd have to move in with him and his family, I'd say WAY too soon.

Answer 7

Too soon. Especially since he has children!

Answer 8

i think you should move in first then wait a few months see how it works with the kids. see how they feel about the situation

Answer 9

We do not know you and your b/f, so we really cannot say if it is too soon or not.  Only YOU know if its too soon.

You sound uncertain, so I would give it some more time until you are certain.

Why is he wanting to be married by 9-1?

Answer 10

I believe it is too soon, honestly you dont know what a person is truly like unless you live with them and spend a great deal of time with them. There could be dynamics in the household you cannot stand or he could have something in his personality that makes him intolerable. tell him to make it 9-1-09 to make sure everything is copesthetic. Also be sure you want to take the role as step-mom. You need to know what you are getting yourself into and also you should be giving time for the children to adjust to the idea of you being around. What is the guy's hurry? If ya'll are in love the paper that says you are husband and wife wont matter.

I say wait a year just to be sure.

Answer 11

Its not too soon if you know that you are truly well matched.  You have to make sure that the living situation with the kids will work out, because if you or they get attached and it doesn't work out, it can be very heartbreaking.  You will know for sure by looking to your heart for answers.  Good luck.

Answer 12

I think that you need more time to see if this is something you're ready to commit the rest of your life to, because whenever someone has a kid or kids it can lead to some messy situations. Try taking a little while meet the kids and make sure that you know him enough to make the decision