We have both been attacked and have been threathened with death by a 15 year old adopitive child?

Question

My girlfriend and her ex adopted 2 brotheres and a 1/2 brother. They stayed with thier father until the 15 yeaqr old became so violent he actually attacked his dad and cracked him over the head with a picture frame. So the child was sent to us. Things are worse. He has no respect. He is always in trouble in school, suspeneded 3 times this year alone. He has attacked a teacher. he has attacked his mother and injured her. He has attacked me with scissors ( luckily I was able to defend myself). He sees a doctor who prescribes him Adderall. We have counsuled him. We are scared he will do something bad to us in our sleep. He breaks doors, breaks tables, throws what ever us in his hands when we try to talk to him . we do not abuse him and try to give him everything he wants. If in fear of our lives can he any recourse in these attacks. In florida can an adoptive parent return an abusive child to CFS. Also if I am attacked by this 15 year old with a knife or scissors am I allowed to protect .

Answer 1

i think that you should take him and have him admitted. for behavioral issues. i think that may help

Answer 2

i wouldnt say give him return him, cuz that would cause even more damage to him if he felt like he wasnt wanted. if the meds arent working then take him off, and try seeking some major help from the agency to get him into intense counseling.

Answer 3

I suspect there is more to the story here.....there is nothing like being rejected!!! Would you just give your biological child away???

Shame on your wife and her ex....it is people like them that give the rest of us adoptive parents a bad name! They should NEVER have been approved to adopt these children. These kids are obviously struggling to find their place in this family. And God help all you so called adults for being such lousy parents.

Happy Mommy is right.....and what help have you sought to get to the cause of the problem?

Answer 4

I would recommend calling 911 if you and your family are in danger.  This isn't a three year old throwing a temper tantrum.  I would look into immediate mental health assistance from a certified child/adolescent psychiatrist.  An inpatient stay in a short term facility followed by longer term treatment in a residential facility is probably indicated.  If necessary, take the child to a hospital ER that is connected to an adolescent inpatient psychiatric unit.

Finally, get support for yourself and your family.  This will be a long term issue but you need to get this boy the help he needs before he does someone serious harm.

Good luck!

Answer 5

You do NOT have to return the Child.... My goodness!

You have every right to contact CFS and request assistnace...  You need to ask for Volunentary Services and find out what resources you have.

Answer 6

can you write me at [e-mail] i may be able to help you out.

Answer 7

Look why not find a group home for him yourself. Then you still have the rights - to protect him from others who may wish to harm him. He will still have family who love him and you never know maybe they can get him under control.

But if the only way you can get that help for him is to relinguish him - I think that will only make him worse!!

Then he will feel abandoned as well as all his other problems.

Answer 8

Not that it is a major portion of this child's anger but have you thought about having his medicine changed from Adderall to something else??  I have heard of MANY kids having rage issues on Adderall.  I would also maybe recommend behavioral therapy.  If he is physicall attacking you then yes you have the right to call 911.  I respect that you love him and want to try and help him but risking your life isn't helping him.  Consult a psychiatrist rather than a just a councelor because they are more educated in medicine and what would work best.  Good Luck I wish I had better advise for you.

**EDIT** Jennifer's answer I believe is very good.  Take her suggestions.  Good Luck

Answer 9

seek post-adoptive services immediately. call the police the next time he attacks someone. i know it's a hard thing for a parent to do, but sometimes it comes to that. and although you can defend yourself, if you leave a mark on the child in the process, as unfair as it seems they may arrest you for child abuse (ive read about many cases where that happens). maybe you should have a talk with someone at the police station to let them know of your situation. maybe then if you have to call them about your child, and there is a mark on him, they will already understand what's going on.

check into attachment therapy. sounds like he may have issues in that area. (google 'reactive attachment disorder' and compare symptoms!)

i wish you all the best. if you believe in a higher power, get to praying if you dont already.

Answer 10

Military school this boy needs discipline he is running a mock do something now are he will probably end up in prison.  There was a boy just like this in my class though he was not adopted he was always placed in classes with Male teachers in case he had an episode. The Police had to go to his home several times, called by his single mother. Sometimes it would take several people to restrain him and this was in grade school. This boy also needs counseling straightaway. If he gets seriously out of control call the Police.

If you feel safer lock your bedroom door at night, or even put a lock on the outside of his room and lock it at night.

Answer 11

Im trying to find the show i saw the other night. well i cant find it but its a center that takes in children( one woman actually) mostly adopted children and they live with her on her farm where they learn to care for horses. go to school and are somehow tought to be better people. if i could only think of the name. the show was on discovery health or something like that a little russian boy was doing the same thing they sent him to live with this woman and her other adopted children.

Im so sorry i cant think of the name but yes. get your hinney up right now and take him to a detention home they have them around most city halls call non emergency police take him there say hes being unruly. they will take him in and house him!

I know because my mother almost  took me there when i was having some teenage problems( not most of my own fault i might mention! hah)

Im sorry i couldnt help more. he will learn it will be alright!

Answer 12

returning him isn't the answer

you can't just return kids like they're a shirt that was too small

you would do the same with him as you would a biological child....

you can't return a biological child,can u???

of course not...

what I would do is get him medically evaluated

something is not right there.....

and kids don't just act out for no reason....

there are a lot of possibilities.....

he could have been raped or molested,he could just not feel loved....(and material things dont make someone feel loved)

i'm not saying that's what u think either,i'm just throwing it out there....he could be angry because your g/f and his dad aren't together anymore....who knows....he could have some chemical inbalance...he needs serious help...

he does not need to be in your home if you don't feel safe.that is domestic abuse....domestic abuse is not just men beating their wives its also children threatening or harming their parents or siblings as well....I would definitely call 911 each and everytime he harms or threatens to harm you ,his mom,or anyone else... and in the mean time I would look into getting him in some temporary inpatient care facility where he will get counseling,and treatment,etc...I had a step son that ended up in a youth facility for awhile and it seemed to help him a lot....(he got one on one and fmaily treatment there) and got to do fun things as well....it was sorta like being in jail in a way but not really because they were there to help these troubled kids not just lock them up....

you should maybe look into somehting like that if the other options don't help....

but this kid needs love for sure

so keep that in mind

:O)

Answer 13

911

Answer 14

Treat him like you would if he was your own biological child.

Answer 15

I have to say, Call the police, make reports on every innsedent, after so many they will place the child in some kind of teen boot camp system. no parent whether adoptive or natural should fear for their lives from their child. try to get him some help before it is too late. Good luck.

Answer 16

if you have fully adopted him then he is your child. If he's that bad, they ought to have him admitted to a phyc hospital or a group home. But you may have to pay a form of child support as he is your child.