We have temporary custody of two children. I'm getting burned out. Any words of encouragement?

Question

They're 9 months and 2 and a half. There is a big chance that it might be a long-term thing. Truthfully, most of the time I'm deeply annoyed with them--my wife clearly is also, but says she isn't, probably because she doesn't want to see the kids split up and put in a foster home.

We went from zero to two kids in nothing flat being married a little less than a year. It's wearing us out. It's safe to say that the only enjoyment is when we take them out. It's hard, anyone have any suggestions or words of encouragement?

Answer 1

Full time care of your own children is difficult, but care of other people's children is more so, because there isn't the same connection. If most of the time you are annoyed, you need to get help from family or friends, and/or counseling to make your lives, and the lives of the children successful. Please ask for help.

Answer 2

if you are getting burned out after temp custody then am afraid you and your wife are not cut out for this why are you planning the full custody if you certainly cannot cope,children are not easy to raise,but they bring so much joy and happiness but if you cant give them love and security then put them up for adoption into a loving family who can give them what they need

Answer 3

Kids can sense what you feel, they are going through enough right now by the sounds of it.  If you really feel they are a burden they shouldn't be with you.  They deserve better.  Children are hard work but they are also huge rewards and it's so sad to see you write that you are "deeply annoyed".....stop beinging so selfish!

Answer 4

Then let someone else adopt them that will love and take care of them.  They need someone that cares about them.  Not someone who complains that there to much work.

Answer 5

having the responsibility of raising kids is not fun all the time. it is a very hard responsibility- expecially in your situation. Just keep in mind that they depend on you for everything and they need you more then ever right now. It is hard, but hopefully you both will see what joy you bring to those children by doing nothing but helping them grow and learn.

Answer 6

It's hard, especially if these are kids that were bounced around before, it can show up in the kids behaviors and make it a lot worse.

But this is also their way of telling you they need all the attention and love you can give them. You and your wife are their whole world. They feel safe and at home with you.

Have you tried taken another approach with the way you feel and deal with them kids? Like more strict, or more zen or whatever make you feel comfortable that could also benefit these children?

Hang in there and good luck. I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job!

P.S. Also keep in mind that it can be hard for any couples who introduce even just one new kid in their family. So with two new kids of this age, it is MORE than normal that you may feel this way! :)