We just got engaged but hes different immediately.

Question

He asked me to marry him and the week after he has been really different than before. It is going to be a long engagement. 2-3 years. Is it normal for a guy to want to go out with friends more right after. Is it something to worry about? Or should I go with the flow? He seems really argumentative also. Is this normal?

Answer 1

No this is not normal at all this is just going to get worse the problem with him is that he is showing you who he really is right now and as soon as you guys get married it is going to get worse trust me on this one and I know this sounds awful but I think you really need to take a rain check on this decision and specially if your going to get married through Church because when your married through the Church it is only once in your lifetime please don't make the wrong decisions that at the long run is going to ruing your life marriage is a blessing from God it was not meant to be h**l on earth that's why more and more people get divorce each  year please don't make that mistake. Good Luck.

Answer 2

This is a huge adjustment period and I wouldn't look into everything so much--you'll end up sabotaging yourself.

If it's a long engagement, is it because you both agreed to this?  If so, then that's fine--engagements have a tendency to be a bit longer now due to finances.  If not and financially you CAN get married in a shorter time frame, then talk it out.

Getting engaged is a huge step for not just the guy, but for the woman too.  You'll find that people deal with this adjustment in different ways.  If the love and commitment is there and the intentions are good and true, don't be too worried--wedding talk all the time is not fun for a guy.

Answer 3

I would give him back the ring and tell him he's not at all ready for this.  He has to grow up first.  No reason for a long engagement either.

Answer 4

I'd say give him a couple of weeks, or maybe as long as a couple of months, and then if it persists, you need to talk with him about it. Maybe he's having second thoughts. Give him some space for a bit to let him figure it out, though.

Answer 5

He's shown you his true self.  Dump his loser àss.

Answer 6

He is just freaked out and wants to feel like he is not giving away his freedom. So he is rebeling. But if you freak out with him, he will think he is making a mistake and not want to get married. Give him his space. Show him the understanding women he feel in love with and wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Answer 7

He is just going through an adjustment period.  Lots of guys freak out when they first get engaged- it's like they suddenly are on Death Row or something!  Let him have his fun with his friends, and make sure he knows that he still has his space and his freedom, even with his newly engaged status.  IN time he'll calm down and be back to his old self again.  Oh, and expect him to do this again when you get pregnant for the first time.  Nothing like a life milestone to make a man revert back to adolescence, LOL.

One more tip- since the wedding is still so far off, try to limit the wedding talk.  I know you're excited, but if all he hears for the next 3 years is "wedding, wedding, wedding," he'll be running for the hills.  Instead, when you get a great idea for the reception or something, either write it down in a wedding planning notebook, or call up one of your best girlfriends to talk about it.  You can involve him more as the date gets closer.  Best of luck!

Answer 8

I say you just give it time and let him adjust. From my experience he probably feels like his life won't be the same. It's understandable. But if it becomes a habit than maybe he is truly not meant for you. Try to be understanding without letting him walk on you.

Answer 9

I'm thinking he is having second thoughts,so now hes going out with his buddies,just so maybe you might break the engagement off.Alot of times,friends will put stupid thoughts in your head.And now he's thinking oh my life is going to be over.When its not.Its okay to go out with friends every now and than,but not all the time.He needs to be committed to you.

Answer 10

Girl , you need to leave him now b/c its just gonna get worse...he's showing  you his true side!

Answer 11

I would say that you should be wary.  Any guy who wants to hold off getting married for a few years clearly isn't really ready and they just might be doing it for the wrong reasons.

He shouldn't be scared of being engaged if that's what he really wants.

Your best bet is to talk to him.  Ask him what he thinks of getting married, and if it's really what he wants.