We want to adopt a child between birth and 3yrs old?

Question

my husband is in the Navy and we make an ok amount of money, but not SO much that we want to pay some baby broker for a kid. I was wondering if anyone knew of a website where it was let money and more care into placing babies w/ new parents, like where a young mother would look to find an adoptive parent for the baby she can't keep. I just have a hard time giving money to some lawyer who sells to the highest bidder, i am not "cheap" just sont want to buy a baby.

We looked into foster care adoption but since we will be moving every few years w/ the military they don't like us, infact i was told a military family is not a "stable family"...

Answer 1

Honestly military family isn't considered a stable family because they considered a stable family home one where you will be remaining so the child will have a support system around them and not be constantly moving around from state to state, city to city, school to school.  They prefer if the foster parent is living in the same home and knows they will be remaining there or atleast in the same city/county so the child (who is already from an unstable situation) isn't being bumped around from home to home and school to school.  

Anyways if you have a private attorney that handles adoption cases then you can put an ad in the local paper (as long as your state allows it legally because some don't) and see who responds but you should never ever do an adoption without an attorney, you are more likely to get screwed over without the attorney to file paperwork for you and make sure things are 100% legal.  My cousin went through it, she met a woman that claimed she was raped and needed a home for the baby.  My cousin didn't have money for a lawyer but she took care of the woman and then when the baby was born the woman took off and then ended up doing the same thing to another couple later.  All because there was no lawyer there to make sure things were done in paperwork and filed with the courts and all that.  You don't have to go to an agency although there are some great agencies out there as well if you ask around but they charge for a lot of things too and their lawyers are expensive so I know my cousin ended up doing an adoption but she did one through the county and one through a private attorney that she could trust.

Answer 2

There are sites such as parentprofiles.com where expectant mothers can look at profiles of families hoping to adopt. However, even if you do go through a private adoption (w/out agency), you'll still need to hire an attourney. In some cases a private adoption can be more expensive and less ethical then when going through an agency.

  Another option since you are open to a child up at age 3, would be international adoption. There are many children in several different countries who have already been relinquished and are waiting to be adopted. There is also a great need for families for international children with some special needs (which are often minnor and / or correctable).

I also know of several military families who've adopted internationally, and if I'm not mistaken, the military does offer some adoption assistance.

Answer 3

You could look into private domestic adoption (through an agency or attorney) or international adoption.  The fees vary depending on which country you choose so check them all out.  When we were doing research adoptions in Haiti were only about $5,000, but this was 5-10 years ago.

Answer 4

You may look into private adoption. There are Drs. that have patients who want their child in a loving home as a newborn infant. The adoption still has a case worker and goes through the court system.

Answer 5

It's not that much different being an unstable family with a former foster child, than being an unstable family with a child surrendered at birth.  The child will still have issues with attachment, having started out his/her life by being abandoned.  The only reason you can get a baby, but you can't adopt through foster care, is because people make tons of money off of babies, and they're willing to let the fact that you're not a stable family slide so they can line their pockets.  And using unethical means (i.e. advertising to "birthmom's") just adds insult to injury.

Enjoy your child-free years.  Once your husband retires (I know military men can retire quite young), then look into foster care adoption.  Imagine how settled and care-free you'll be (and what laid-back parents, after so many years of fun and relaxation without kids to chase after!); and imagine how much more relaxed your child will be since they have that one less thing to worry about!

Attachment is always a sticky issue with adoptees.  They were abandoned once, and they need as much stability as possible - regardless where they came from or what age you get them.  And adoption is about finding the best possible family for a child, not the best baby for you.  The BEST family for any adoptee will be stable.  So, when you're ready to be what your child needs, start the process.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, that's the problem. Those who are willing to give all their love to a child cannot. Those who have more money than sense can buy one. It's a shame that the system is so  whacked up. Being a military Dad, I've seen too many dependent children left to run without supervision. Eventually, the system winds up with them and they are fostered out to people who are just in it for the money. Eventually, they become institutionalized and wind up either on welfare or habitual criminals that cannot adjust to life in general. Funny how career militaary  are considered unstable. Yes, we move a lot , by the same stroke we teach our children to be self sufficient and accepting of all others.

Answer 7

You can try private adoption through parent profiles.com. Another alternitive since you are open to a child up to 3 is international adoption. There are many waiting children that have a harder time finding homes because they are over 18 months and many people want younger. Visit rainbowkids.com for a current listing of availible international children.

Answer 8

i would try looking at South Korea, i know that there are some military bases there, so the child might be able to see where they were from and expericence the culture firsthand (if your husband does overseas operations) try

www.adoptivefamilies.com/korea_adoptio...

travel.state.gov/family/adoption/count...

according to the last website, the adoption can cost up to 10,000, but it's not a lot, when you think about the cost of having prenatal checkup, hospital bill from the birth, and all of the supplies that you have to buy. i wish you and your husband the best of luck with adopting, i wished though that the foster care system would let you adopt,  i know that there are many kids looking for a home

p.s.

you may also want to look at Albania

http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW...