We want to have a party after the wedding but,

Question

there will be old people and ministers at the wedding so we want to be respectful. would it be okay to have a small hor dors reception in the church hall for every one and that night have the party (invite only)so we can have alcohol and loud music?

Answer 1

yes that is very respectful of you guys, i would just make up a little extra invite and put in the people who you want coming and give all the details!!

good luck!!

Answer 2

Old people and ministers drink too.  And I'm sure you can have music.  Every wedding I've been to has had everyone from the ceremony at the reception.  And all receptions have had alcohol and music.

If you're concerned, just play music that everyone can enjoy at the beginning of the reception.  Also include your first dance, Dad/bride, Mom/groom dances, ect right away.  Then progressively make the music louder and more to your preferences as the night goes on.

Answer 3

I agree with geeky.

If it's what you want to do, and ALL the guests that come to your ceremony get food afterward, then go for it. I would have the "cocktail hour" reception with drinks and appetizers for at least a couples hours, though, so that you have time to meet and greet with everyone.

And then, as geeky said, include a card with invitations the party information for ONLY the guests you want to come. VistaPrint.com prints cheap postcard type things, so that might be a good option for you. You can customize the color and font as well to match your invitations, and then you don't have to pay a TON more for the extra card, especially if it's only going to a select number of guests.

If anyone who's not invited to the party finds out, just explain that you wanted a separate celebration with close friends and family only. That's the only problem I see you running into with this situation, but I'm almost certain guests would understand completely.

Good luck, and have fun with it!

Answer 4

Absolutely!!!  It is perfectly acceptable to have to general reception for everyone immediately after the wedding and then have an 'invitation only' PARTY reception later. Go for it & have a fabulous time!!!!!

Congrats on your marriage!!!!

Answer 5

yes!  

Answer 6

Nothing wrong with that.  although you might be surprised at how many "old people" might like some drinks and a good rumpshaker;)

Answer 7

While I can appreciate your respect consideration......

Plan your reception however you want it.  Those that don't approve will briefly attend & then leave.  Just make sure you have enough slow songs so that the "old people" can dance.

Sometimes I attend the reception, sometimes I do not.  But it is NEVER because of the music or alcohol.  (I don't drink but I'm married to a musician!)   It is usually because there are people that seem to be 'weirded-out' because a minister is in attendance.

I assure my couples that they can plan as they see fit, that I am never there to dampen their celebration.  VERY seldom do I walk away uninvited.  My non-attendance is usually because of a prior commitment.

Answer 8

That's exactly what we did!   We had the wedding with reception and then that night we had a party!  

Answer 9

Yes, that's perfectly fine and here's how it's done:

On the wedding invitation at the bottom, you note that there's a reception immediately following in the church hall. On a separate card, you would invite people to your "party" reception and include that card with the invitations of only the people you want to invite to the "party" reception.

Hope this helps!

Answer 10

Yes, that's done pretty frequently, actually - as long as you can pay for it. My friends are doing it this weekend :)

On your actual invitation, put the ceremony details and at the bottom, in small letters, write "Hors d'oeuvre reception to follow in the Fellowship Hall". Have a response card for this "ceremony + cake reception" option.

Then, include a smaller card only in the invites of those guests who are invited to the after party that says "Please join us for dinner and dancing at [time and location]." Have a separate RSVP card for those guests and include both receptions, so you will know how many people to expect at each - after all, a few of your after-party guests may only be able to make it to the afternoon party, so you'll want to keep track.