Wedding Family Issues?

Question

Ok It all started when my Fiances Cousin asked my Sister to have a going away party for her 16 yr old daughter at her place. 12 people turned into 50 - Cousin/Mother was hardly there, supplied all the 15-16 yr olds with alcohol. The police were called, due to out of control drunk children. Money was stolen from my sisters purse. I had a fight with the cousin over it, as she wouldn't pay back the stolen money nor ask any of the children about it, didn't help clean up the next morning (although she promised to do so) she was to be in bridal party & mentioned to others that she didn't want to be in the bridal party anymore. Then HER mother (my fiances Aunt) stuck her 2c worth into it all and has rung all of my Fiances relatives saying I dont know what but they have all declined the wedding invitations bar one family. (She did mention to my partner that she would make sure that none of his family would go to our wedding) My partner is devastated but is trying to act like it doesn't matter. I feel so upset, and bad that they are not coming & think they all must hate me. What would you do in my situation? The wedding is in 4 weeks. We love each other so much & have 2 young children together.

Answer 1

Its your day. You love him and he loves you I am sure. You have to do what is best for you and your family, meaning the two kids you have together. The fact that no one said anything about the fact that she allowed young teens to drink and steal should have been the issue. So what she didn't want to be in the bridal party, if you didn't kick her out then they have no right to be upset. If letting something this small destroy thier sons, nephew, cousin or whatever your soon to be husband is the them wedding day says a lot about their family and maybe this is what needed to happen cuz is that really of type of influence you want around your children or at your wedding. Enjoy your day and if they apologize accept it, if not give them time and comfort your man while he is silently hurting.

Answer 2

I cannot believe that! What a horrible scenario. I cannot really offer you any consolation but to think that your fiancé’s family is snubbing him on the most important day of his life is just deplorable. That aunt of his is heartless and cruel – to ruin her nephew’s wedding that way. To hurt you is one thing and utterly despicable but to cause harm to her nephew that way... I am at a loss for words. I feel for you though.

I do agree with some of the others though. Have your fiancé call his relatives and find out why they’re not coming. Surely they will have the respectability to talk to him about it – and if the aunt doesn’t show up, good riddance!

Answer 3

No matter what you do or do not do your family is going to still be all messed up.  Since there is no way that you are going to get a group that large into counseling you need to see a therapist so that you can break the cycle of weirdness.  (and if you don't think its weird, that in itself is weird).

Get married, do what you want, then get some therapy.  End this lunacy, at least in your own household.

Answer 4

Wow that is horrible! If they have already declined the invite then chances are you will not be able to change their minds. This is your day to marry the man you are in love with so you need try to enjoy this time as much as it sucks right now. You can try to call them and reconcile however I am not sure if there is much more you can do. Good luck and enjoy your special day.

~MLF~

Answer 5

Despite the family feud its your special day and it should go on you don't need a big wedding to show your love to one another you just need each other there.  I personally think many special events are commercialized these days and take away from the meaning of why you are celebrating something so special. Look at Christmas they have the decorations out already for people by the time it gets here people hate the holiday and forgot what it really means. Just stay calm and don't let others ruin your happiness best of luck to you

Answer 6

I would try to find out what was said.  At my sisters wedding she got in to a fight with the grooms sister and she called up everyone and told them that my sister  didn't want any of them there.  She might of told them something like this.  I would have your fiance call up some of his relatives and ask them why they are not coming.  Especially the family members he is close to.  If they don't say anything or are rude just have a great time with out them and try not worry.