Wedding Party Dilemma

Question

My fiancee and i have had a very untraditional engagement...to say the least.... I would like to have at least my two sisters and possibly a friend stand up as bridesmaid at my wedding... He would prefer not to have a wedding party for a couple of reasons. First, our engagment/relationship has not been very taditional so why are we now trying to make it traditional (it would be like wearing white on my wedding day as if i was virgin...), second, he does not want to have to choose friends to stand up for him... Two have his childhood friends live 1/2 way across the country and he feels that would be to much to ask of them, (not to mention they are both married with children) and the other friends that he has close to home he is unsure wether he wants to have them as a part of the wedding.

He wants it to be just him and i at the alter, he feels that is much more powerful and meaningful... I am not dead set on having a wedding party, but i would like my sisters and a friend involved in the wedding cermony in some fashion.... Other then having them read a passage at the cermony, does anyone have any creative suggestions on how to have them involved? Oh should add we are not getting marriend in a church, it will be by a Rev. Outdoors in a garden or beach setting.

Any help would be great! Thanks for Listening/Reading!

Answer 1

You can have one or two of your sisters and friend walk before you down the aisle, and then instead of standing with you at the alter, they can go sit down and then only you and your hubby will be at the alter. You can also ask them to give speeches, that's special too. You can also give a speech and make special mention of you, how they have supported you, etc etc.

Answer 2

This is your day, he is too controlling, a man doesn't deny his fiance bridesmaids at the wedding just because he hasn't established good friendships by now, pretty selfish. So what if your're not traditional, have your sister and friends be a part of it.

Answer 3

You and your sisters could sing a song or do a dance at the reception! That seems fun and very non-traditional. Congrats on your wedding and best of luck!

Answer 4

You could have your sisters walk you down the aisle vs being bridesmaids.

Answer 5

It's OK to skip out on having a traditional wedding party. One of my friends and her husband decided to forego the wedding parties, and I thought it was much nicer than having all of her adult friends (read: me) dressed up in matching taffeta.

You could also do what another friend of mine did. She wanted her brother as her best man and a mix of male and female friends as attendants, so she just had them walk up together in a huge group. None of that paring up with some person you'll never see again. In addition, that way, you can add as many as few people as you want, say, if your fiance's friends can make it after all. You can merge your friends into one big group.

Answer 6

You keep saying 'he wants' or 'doesn't want' ...what do YOU want here? Marriage is about compromise and it seems that you are letting him rule the wedding plans already. The only thing you said you want is to have your sisters and a friend involved....don't you care about the rest of it?  I think there are some other issues here to be resolved besides whether to have a bridal party or not.  

Answer 7

Well, if you don't want a wedding party in any traditional sense, keep in mind that you will need witnesses to sign the license. You could also just have your sisters and friend be the witnesses. You don't have to equalize. Also, might want to see if his friends want to even come to the wedding. Even though they have families, they might still be able to swing it. If he knew that they would come anyway, would he change his mind?