Wedding and my church turned me down?

Question

I am a baptist and i have been a member of the same little country baptist church since i was big enough for my granny to drag me there every sunday morning. Well I was baptized there when i was in the 5th grade and my parents were married there twenty five years ago. I attend almost every sunday along with my fince and the rest of my family. My family always donates as the donation plate comes around and Yesterday I asked about haveing our wedding reception there and I got a reply I wasnt prepared for. They dont beleive in having a wedding reception with cake, and the first dance and things like this. What is going on here?

Answer 1

I know you want to celebrate there since it is a happy occasion but think about the fact that you and your husband will be so much in love that this small thing won't matter. I would say that maybe it is because you will be dancing close together and things like that but even so...like everyone else is saying...have the reception at another location. You will be so moved by your love you won't be worrying about where the reception is.

Answer 2

what sect of baptist? as some baptist associations are more conservative than others...

the cake I can't believe they would object too... the dancing however I do believe because baptists in general believe that dancing and drinking leads directly to sin (although most of us in the younger generation know otherwise)

Answer 3

There may be a reason for their response - perhaps it takes a LOT of effort to host and clean up a wedding - something that is beyond the manpower available at the church.

I would suggest that you get married there and host the reception somewhere else.

Answer 4

Those are their customs, many denominations do not believe in dancing or anything of the celebratory sort.

Answer 5

Yup, that's a Southern Baptist thing...no dancing.  The cake surprises me.  So just have the ceremony there and then have a simple outdoor reception at a nearby park or at someone's house.

Answer 6

Get married their and have the reception else where! I know alot of churches does not allow any dancing inside the Chruch hall!

Answer 7

Did your parents have a modern style reception there? The church's [current?] vision might not allow for that sort of event. Similar to how some churches don't allow drinking at their hall, some don't allow dancing, etc.

Are you allowed to have a reception at all there?

Answer 8

Aren't Baptists really conservative when it comes to celebrations, dancing, etc?  This is probably the reason for the negative answer you received.

Answer 9

You go to a Baptist church your entire life and you didn't know that conservative Baptists don't believe in celebrations like that? Strange. Well, get married there and then have the reception somewhere else.

Answer 10

I know that many baptists practice that way. They may believe that they are more material things that don't glorify God, perhaps.

I think a wedding is call for celebration of the marriage of 2 people that God put together.

I guess have your wedding there and reception elsewhere if you want these things still (I know I would!!)

Answer 11

They don't permit celebration on church grounds.  Not totally uncommon in some religions.  You should talk to them about having your ceremony & then having a reception elsewhere.  However, they may still turn you down as they might feel your beliefs don't mesh with theirs in this aspect.  If that is the case, perhaps you might start looking at joining another church or using a non-denominational officiant for a ceremony held somewhere outside of the church.

Surely, your parents & grandparents weren't totally shocked by this since they are long time members??

Answer 12

Most baptist churches I know, don't allow dancing. I got married at my baptist church and had my reception elsewhere, because we didn't want to have to follow the traditional rules. Why don't you just do that? Have the reception nearby so you can dance.