Wedding envelopes : correct addressing question

Question

I am inviting several female guests and their significant others.

The females are my intended guest .

Do I put their names first on the envelopes? I know it is standard to put the males names first, but it seem odd in this case because it is the gals who are my friends,

For example: I am inviting Lisa Smith. I do not know her boyfriend that well, but Iam extending her the courtesy of bringing him as her guest.

Do I address:

Miss Lisa Smith and Mr. Jerry Tanner

Thanks.

Answer 1

Only a hostess can have guests. Guests don't have guests. To word an invitation "and guest" is offensive to the person invited because it suggests they lack the social skills to mingle without an escort; it is offensive to the person brought as a guest because it treats them as an accessory rather than as a person; it degrades your wedding by turning it into a free date-night; and it offends your other guests by withdrawing from them the "social guarantee" that a hostess is supposed to be able to provide for all her guests.

You asked what is correct. Truly correct is, that you invite Lisa Smith on one invitation sent to Miss Smith's home, and you invite Mr Jerry Tanner on a second separate invitation sent to Mr Tanner's home. And then you never, ever let on that Mr Tanner is not welcome for his own sake, because the courtesy you are extending to Miss Smith by inviting him on her behalf includes being courteous enough to him that you are willing to threat him as a first-class guest rather than a second-class guest.

If, however, Mr Tanner lives with Miss Smith, or if you are committed to including him on the same envelope as Miss Smith despite the correct alternative, you may if you like address it with Miss Smith's name first. Many people will cite the "ladies first" rule to suggest that order as correct. Others will cite sexual equality and suggest that order doesn't matter.  

Answer 2

Write their names and then "Plus Guest".  That way you don't have to write the guys' names.

Answer 3

you can do it 2 different ways. you can eitehr write the girls name "and guest"..  or if you want to specifically write her boyfriends name, then his name has to go first.  that's what it says in my wedding etiquette book

Answer 4

Unless they are married, it would be addressed to LISA SMITH + Guest

Answer 5

If you do not know the boyfriend well, then you can certainly pare it down to "Lisa Smith and Guest."

However, if you know the significant other well or they are engaged/married, then it is more correct to put the male's name.  It is not a problem to address it as you have mentioned (with the woman first) given she is the primary addressee.  

Good luck with all the invitations!

Answer 6

Here is what I did:

Girl & Boyfriend dating under 6 months not living together:

Miss Lisa Smith (outside envelope)

Lisa & Guest (on the inside envelope)

Girl & BF dating longer than 6 months not living together:

Miss Lisa Smith (Outside)

Lisa & Jerry (Inside)

Girl & BF living together:

Miss Lisa Smith

Mr. Jerry Tanner (on the outside envelope)

Lisa & Jerry (Inside)

Hope that helps!

  

Answer 7

You are correct in your example.  If you know the name of the significant other then etiquette states that you include his name as well.  If you don't know the name of the guest then you put "& guest".

Answer 8

Outside envelope

if they live together both names

Ms. Jame Doe and Mr. John Smith

if they live speratly jsut her name

inside write

Jane and John

or

Jane and Guest (if you dont know his name)

Answer 9

i would just address it to Ms Lisa Smith and inside make sure you have the little card to return with the number of people coming. or you can say Ms Lisa Smith and guest. but if you know everybodys names you could put them on. i dont think it matters, either way they are included.