Wedding fever...Help before I don't have a boyfriend?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 & a half years& it seems like everyday I come home I'm praying he pops the questions. Or get kinda upset when its bed time & he didn't. I hint about it proably alot more then I should & he gets mad (some times). Every song on the radio I think would I play that my wedding? & If I keep this up I know I will drive him crazy too & there won't be a wedding. It seems like ever since my best friends wedding (that I was in) & Its just been non stop thinking about it. Everywhere we go friends/family ask why we aren't atleast enganged. I dont want to rush a wedding but in the next 2-4 years would be great!

*he blames money on why he isn't asking...he doesn't want to go into debt to buy a ring (I understand that but still) he said he wont be asking for another year + i don't know if I can wait for him

I'm so crazy I have everything picked out nothing bought but I could tell you what dress, whos invited etc.. HELP!! Its only getting worse.

Answer 1

He sounds kind of nervous, I remember my sister having the same problem, which she resolved by buying the rings and forcing him to propose..lol...scary I know, But she said, "I really wanted to marry him." So I guess if you really want it you need to take inititave and make it happen yourself. Hope that has helped. Will you marry me?...lol..Hope the wedding is great and have a ton of kids! But don't be to forceful, good things come to those who wait, my sister just got to d**n impatient (but who could blame her, it was 7 years)....

GOOD LUCK TO YA MATE!

Answer 2

I hate to tell you this, but it sounds like he really doesn't want to get married.  I've been through your exact situation before where I got wedding fever after my best friend's wedding... my boyfriend and I had been together for about five years.  About a year later, we broke up.

There are many men out there who either don't want to get married or don't want to get married yet or don't see themselves married to you.  I know this is hard to hear.

It sounds like he doesn't necessarily want to break up but it certainly sounds like he doesn't want to get married, either.  It seems like he is stringing along your dream but enduring your hints without saying specifically he doesn't want to get married, placating you with a couple of ring shopping moments, etc.  Yet, if you look at how he is saying things, "well, there goes your ring" it is pretty evident that he is not serious about marriage and is either not understanding how serious you are about it or wants to sort of be cruel enough to you so you will stop wanting to get married.

It also sounds like you are only focusing on getting married (dress, who's invited, the engagement, etc.) and not really looking at the fact that maybe your boyfriend isn't the best choice for marriage if he isn't ready to commit.

Just my opinion from my past experience.

Answer 3

If you are having this much trouble getting him to marry you, can you imagine what it will take to get him to father children?  Cut your losses and break this off.  There are other fish in the sea who are VERY interested.  Open yourself to other possibilities.  He may be keeping you from finding Mr. Right.  =)

Answer 4

As I guy I will break the "guy code" by telling you this.  If after 4 and a half years he has not asked you to be committed to him, or he keeps coming up with excuse after excuse, then he is not going to ask you to marry him. It is that simple. I will give him the benefit of the doubt for the first year, even the second years.... but after 4+ years, he is just "enjoying the ride". His excuses are just that excuses. If he really wanted to be with you as husband and wife, he would fine a way to make it happen regardless of the concerns. A real man would. And by the way, a girl should NEVER have to beg a guy to ask her to be his. He should count his blessings that you have stayed around as long as you have waiting.

Answer 5

Sounds like you need to calm down before you push him away over this subject.  Just be happy that you have a boyfriend and a good relationship.  If you know that he's "the one" and you KNOW that he feels the same about you, then don't rush this.  If you all are the one for each other, then it will happen.  In the mean time, do things to help save money so that he doesn't feel as much pressure on being able to afford it.  Cut back on splurges, and when he asks you why you're cutting back, say that you want to help save for things you all will have together down the road.  Don't mention "I want to save for my ring" cause then you are AGAIN bringing up marriage to him and it may get on his nerves that you're always yapping about it.  And it sounds like you are (sorry).

Everyone woman wants to get married and have the dress, the flowers and all the attention a wedding comes with. Some times that urge gets greater when you see all of your friends doing it.  But what is good for them right now, may not be good for you right now.  Take your time, you sound young.

And w/all that said, I agree with Mike M's answer too. It could be that he is dragging his feet. Afterall, it has been FOUR years and he keeps making excuses.

Answer 6

u ask him

Answer 7

Not to be mean, but maybe you need to go pick up the book "He's just not that in to you".

Either you'll realize he isn't and find someone who is, or maybe he'll see you reading it and wake up.