Wedding gift from bridesmaids? Do you still have to buy $ gift even after you buy dress, shoes, parties, etc.

Question

I am in a not so close friends wedding. I have only know her for about a year. She is 11 years younger than I am so other than our jobs we do not have much in common. After her wedding she plans on leaving the company so I do ot even think I will see her much after that... I just know how these things go. It is reality no matter how much you like the person. Your life goes in a diffrent direction. I was hesitant to even agree to be in the wedding because we are tight on cash and it is a huge financial commitment anyway. I don't mind stretching for someone I have known all my life or even for a few years. After having spent over $500 on parties, dress for wedding (won't wear again regardless of what the bride thinks) I now have to spend more money on the bachelorrette party because she wants a destination party. I am starting to resent all of this b/c it means I am having to cut back on things for my family in order to do this. I don't want to come off as cheap so I havn't said anything

Answer 1

By all means, say something. Think how bad she'll feel to find out that your family had to suffer just so she can have her "perfect wedding experience"! Most brides, understanding the expense involved, will tell you that your participation in the wedding is gift enough. Explain to her about finances, and perhaps she'll even chip in a bit on the dress(I'm doing that for my attendants, or buying them dresses cheaply on eBay that coordinate if not match, nothing over $50; I've got two so far that are GORGEOUS together; all that they have to do for themselves is pay for alterations when needed, but we're trying to avoid that).

If she wants a destination party, she has to understand that not everyone has destination-party money!

Answer 2

why don't you buy her a nice picture frame or a dinner gift card??? it would be something small, but still thoughful.

you need to give her something -even if it is small. everyone who attends the wedding (including the bridal party) is supposed to give a gift that atleast covers the cost of their meal....

umm here is a cool frame you could get her (if you still have the invitation)

http://www.personalizationmall.com/Perso...

Answer 3

I was in my cousins wedding in may 07 and didnt go to any of her 3 bachelorette parties b/c they were all out of town and expensive...plus I was finishing up my college degree and my mind was on graduating, not going out till late and wearing little weiners around my nectk :)  lol.  AND, I didnt get her a wedding gift/shower gift either.  I had my mom (her aunt) put my name on everything too b/c I had to pay for my own ugly a$$ bridesmaid dress, shoes, hair (which I opted to do myself and it came out way better than all the other girls) and the $$$ to took to travel to the wedding, etc.  Just back out of the party...you have a family to take care of and she should understand that.

Answer 4

oh wow! I am a bride and you know I never thought of it like that. fortunately none of mine have to do any of that stuff. but still I think I agree with you. since you already said you would be in the wedding I would stick with it. but as far as the gift is concerned if you aren't' to proud I would just give her a card telling her how honored you are to be in the wedding and give her your best wishes. My fiance and I got one of those cards that has nothing in it from someone he grew up with and we were just happy they spent the time and effort to mail it! and like you said if she is such a bridzilla that she is offended, you probably won't be seeing much of her anyway.

Answer 5

No, you do not have to buy her a gift.  

You can always back out of the bachelorette party too by the way.  If it's out of your financial range, she should understand.  My husband and I both were in situations where the parties were out of town and we couldn't foot the bills.  Both times they were close friends, so they were fine with it.  If she gets nasty, then cut your losses and back out of the wedding.

Answer 6

find people to chip in when it comes to the bachelorrette party (the other bridesmaids) you should not have to deprive your family from things because of someone Else's wedding that is not even family.  oh yea and no you dont have to buy a gift