Wedding gifts for second time around?

Question

We are getting married June 09 and its the second time for both of us, we have house and everything in it so would really prefer a gift of money from our guests instead of another saucepan set or whatever.

Has anyone an idea how to word this on the invitation so that it doesn't sound rude or presumptious ?

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I've always read you should never ask for money.  Gifts don't even HAVE to be given.  I'd register for things like a gift certificate to your travel agent for the honeymoon or something like that.

Answer 2

I've thought about this too, since I will be getting married for the second time (his will be #1) and already have everything to fill my home.  How about a honeymoon registry?  Or, find some small things at your choice retailer but add a whole bunch of gift cards as requested items.  I actually used www.thebigday.com as my honeymoon registry for my first wedding and it worked out great.  Plus, they put you up with a travel agent free of charge for any questions or planning needs.  Good luck to you and happy wedding!

Answer 3

ask for donations towards a honeymoon fund, people wouldn't mind doing that I am sure, think you can book a hliday and people can go in and payn some off it

Answer 4

We just got high street vouchers

Answer 5

I just did the same thing. You can include a cute little poem about rejoining hearts and mention that you have everything and gift cards work well. Most if they know you and other then gift cards and money is what will be given. If not then you will have a lot of running around to do. Congradulations!!

Answer 6

well i kinda thought that that was the new thing to do anyway is give money but idk i thought it was a thing of the past to give liek housey things

Answer 7

I have "No Boxed Gifts Please" written on our invitations, and so many people have come up to me and said, "That is so nice you wrote that."

I was scared that people would think its tacky, but nowadays, especially if its your second time around, people understand.  I would never be offended if someone wrote "No Boxed Gifts Please". I'd actually be relieved because I wouldn't have to take time to go drive to a store, look through the registry, pick out a gift, buy a gift, have it wrapped, bring it home, have it sit in the house, lug it to the wedding, etc.

I researched before I wrote that on there, and everyone I talked to said they had no problem with that.

Answer 8

check out this site

www.weddingforums.co.uk

They made up their own card and poem to explain,

I thought it was really good and helpful

sorry i couldn't really tell you this is probably more helpful then me saying just say we need money more then the present because we don't need the presents and we might not like them and now we can just  buy anything with the money

and its not rude like i said you might not like the stuff and return it and who ever bought it might see your returning it or might see you don't even have it and that's rude more so then just asking for money to buy stuff you need

Answer 9

You cannot ask for money in any form on a wedding invitation. Even the mention of no gifts please is tacky because it presumes that you expected a gift. If you really do get a houseful of things you will not use sell them on eBay and get $$ out of them that way.  There really is no other alternative.

The good news is many guests will realize your circumstance of likely already having a household and give you money or gift cards as a result.

Answer 10

It will not sound rude to ask for money. My best friend is getting married in november and asked for money they wrote on the invitation 'the most important thing to us is that you are here on our special day but if you wish to buy a gift please could we have money towards the honeymoon as we have been living toether for X years now so already have everything we need for our home'.

Hope this helps

Answer 11

My friends did this and wrote a funny poem to put in the invitations....I cannot remember it but is was like....."Darren and Janice love their toast but dont need another toaster....they're not too flash to be honest and say "What we need is cash!" And it went on like that explaining that they wanted the money for a honeymoon!

Answer 12

Hi.  I see that you are from a different country, so I don't know the rules of etiquette,

but here in the U.S. it is very rude to mention ANYTHING about gifts on an invitation, unless, of course you are not wanting anything and then you can put down...."no gifts please."

Here in the U.S., couples "register" for gifts.  If you don't want any tangible gifts

(i.e., as you say, "another saucepan), then don't register for anything.  Your guests

will figure it out.  And, as you say, if it's traditional for them to give money, then there

is no reason to prompt them.

Answer 13

I just wouldnt put it in with the invitation - I think that is really rude , like ' come to our wedding and get us this...'  you dont get married to get the gifts do you.  Allow people to ask about 'the wedding list' and just say ' we havent done one, there's nothing we really need but if you want to give a gift then cash or vouchers would be great'.

If it is the norm in your family to ask for money then there wont be any problems with them.  Maybe word invitations differently for family /friends.

We had this discussion recently at work and many people think including a 'present list' with the invitation is just cheeky, to ask for money is even cheekier and to ask for money for a honeymoon/holiday is down right rude.

Answer 14

Just say no gifts thank you, a gift of money is optional and give youre bank details.. Sort code and account number.

Its perfectly safe so dont worry, the same details are on all youre cheques!! x

Answer 15

Sorry. Basically, you are telling guests what to give as a gift. Rude, rude, rude and tacky too. Also, I disagree with you. I attended my cousin's wedding (her father is Italian and she married in Italy) and there were LOTS of gifts.

In comment to other poster - putting "No Boxed Gifts" is fine because it also implies no gift is necessary.  Perfectly reasonable.

Answer 16

If will sound rude.

Most folks will figure it out and maybe - just maybe you might be pleasently serprized by sombody's gift that doesn't choice to do cash - be would feel they have to if you say something.

Answer 17

We got an invite recentely where the couple wanted money.

The bride included a lovely poem she had devised basically saying they would prefer money but in a really sweet way (if there is such a thing lol) anyway have a go at that or a friend who is good at writing poems could have a go for you.

Dont really wanna post the poem she wrote cos i dont think its fair as it probably took her months to come up with it ha ha.

Also if you received money from your guests what would you spend the money on? Think about this and then maybe have a wedding register for gift vouchers for the place you would be spending the money on?

Answer 18

it sure sounds rude and presumptuous now, either do things normally or request no gifts

i guess you could say you're registered at commerce bank but then you just look like a******s

Answer 19

Theres no right way to say you want cash/money/checks.  Don't put it on your invites at all.  Also, don't register for gifts if you do not want them.  People may get the hint that you want money.  

Also, you can tell your mom or bridesmaids that you aren't registering and that you do perfer money.  Generally thats how you spread the word of where you are registered.  Someone will ask one of those people and they will say where you may be registered, etc.