Wedding personal attendants vs. bridesmaids?

Question

My (step) sister-in-law is getting married and she chose my wife as a personal attendant (as well as her other step-sister). She omitted them both from being bridesmaids which really upset my wife (and other sister). Both my wife and 'other sister' had this person (step-sister) in their weddings (as a bridesmaid), but the step-mom is 'spinning' this as "personal attendants are more important than bridesmaids". I don't buy it - yes, personal attendants are important, but it sounds like a lame excuse to not include them both in the wedding party, and yes there have been previous family politics with the family/stepfamily - and want to get feedback. (oh yes, the groom is having his brother as best-man, FYI)

Answer 1

Isnt the MOH supposed to be the brides personal attendant?  I thought the MOH was supposed to do all the stuff with the bride before the wedding and then look out for her on the day of!  That's what I always did as MOH!  Sounds like a brush off to me.

Answer 2

These are difficult decisions. Grow up, get over it.

Answer 3

Can't you people just grow up?  It's bad enough that she has to deal with the complexities of arranging a wedding.  Get over yourselves. It is HER wedding and SHE doesn't have to play family politics to satisfy all you immature morons who want to run her wedding.

It is for these reasons that we are having no attendents including no MOH or best man.  Once the actual wedding is completed, my sister and his brother will sign the registry as witnesses. Done, over with, and nobody can carry on with their personal drama about being included or not.

Answer 4

My very best friend was my personal attendant instead of my maid of honor.  She was the one I was most comfortable with.  She was with me in the bride room when all the other bridesmaids were assembling to walk down the aisle, she organized them to make sure everyone was where they were supposed to be, etc.  She was SO great!  IMO, a personal attendant is MUCH more important than a bridesmaid.  When this same friend got married, I was also her personal attendant instead of her MOH.  I was the one that remembered that she would probably have not eaten anything all day (as she tends to do when she's nervous) so I stopped on my way to the church and picked up a small chicken sandwich for her--plain as to not get anything on her dress.  She was so grateful as (like I had guessed) she hadn't taken time to eat anything.  I also was there for ANYTHING she needed during the reception.  It's a big job, and nothing to be looked at lightly.  I don't think your wife is being slighted at all.

Editted to add:  The main purpose of the maid of honor/best man is to be witness to the marriage.  All the other bridesmaids are pretty much just for show.  (I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I had a bridal party of 5--just saying they don't really serve much of a purpose on the day of the wedding.)