Wedding plans and mom has breast cancer?

Question

My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer and I was planning a Spring wedding (most of it is booked).

It is her wish to be at my wedding, she has been looking forward to it for some time now.

After getting doctor reports from initial tests, things are not looking good for her.

Should I plan a small wedding now (just parents?) so she can attend? I think I want to do this.

What do I do if she passes just before the actual Spring wedding (that week or month?)

We were also planning a mother / son dance at the wedding and I am not sure what to do about that. I could dance with an Aunt or other family member or even new mother in law but my Fiance thinks I should skip it but I really want to have that dance..

Its a little upsetting to just think about this and I don't want my wedding to be a sad one.

Thanks in advance

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis.

Having something small with your mother now seems like a nice idea.  

Go ahead with your plans for your Spring wedding.  I'm sure your mother wants you to be happy and wouldn't want you to be sad on your wedding day.  I'm speaking from personal experience because I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.  And even though my oldest is only 14, I know that if she were older and facing the same thing you are, I would want her to be happy on her wedding day and not miss the day she dreamed of.  

I would go with the mother/son dance with whomever you chose to be that special person if your mother can't be there.  It seems important to you and you should follow your heart on this one.  I really hope that your mother is able to be there.

I can imagine how difficult and upsetting this whole situation is.  I wish you the very best.

Answer 2

go ahead and plan the big wedding, but have the small one for just parents, by all means. You might want to include the maid of honor and best man (or other loved ones in their place so it seems like a wedding and celebration).  You should have music and wonderful vows - some silk flowers maybe so you can save them and use them for the wedding/reception, especially if your mom can't be there for that one.

I would make it small and cozy, with the touches that your mom especially would like, including some music and dancing after, even if it is in your living room! Why not??  With a small ceremony, you can have a nice dinner after, small cake, be perfect! You will always remember this ceremony and have it to hold in your heart. Definitely do it, start planning right away and enjoy, smile, and celebrate.

Having this ceremony early will ease so much stress for all of you. If she does pass before the wedding, go ahead with the ceremony. Maybe have a rose on the altar in honor of her. Maybe have your officiant say something at the start of the ceremony.

You have between now and when she passes - to get prepared, say the things you want to say, understand each other. Don't waste time worrying about when it happens, just smile and laugh as much as possible until then.

Good luck, and hope your mom understands how much you love her.  

Answer 3

Go ahead and have a wedding just for Mom. Enjoy and don't think about tomorrow is not here yet. Enjoy this time you have with her.

God bless you dear.

Answer 4

Have it sooner and shorter wedding.