Wedding reception traditions and general customs...???

Question

What are come general non-religious wedding customs and traditions that happending during the reception (i.e. bouquet toss, garter toss). I reall hate these these and personally for me I want to elimanate as amny as possible so I need to know what may be expected as a tradition/commanality that I can avoid. Also is it still customary to have the officent that marries you be a guest at the reception? We are not "religious" and are having a pastor that works with our ceremony site often. Does he need to be invited? Also if we hire a violinist to play at the ceremony do they need to be invited to the reception even if they are not performing there?

Answer 1

You should invite the officiant.  The violinist doesn't need to be invited.

You don't have to have a bouquet and garter toss, it's your day, do what you want!!

Best wishes.

Answer 2

Don't feel you need to follow most wedding traditions. However, there are exceptions. For instance, a receiving line after you are   married to give guests at the ceremony a chance to congratulate you and the parents.  I think that is required unless you have a very small wedding.  

Yes, it's customary to invite the officiant, but ask him/her in advance.  In many cases, they will decline.  The violinist is hired help, so thus does not need an invitation to the reception.

Speeches.  Other than welcoming the guests to the reception, no speeches are necessary.  Most wedding receptions I've been to don't ever do speeches (I always wondered why they were featured in weddings in the movies and such).  However, there is nearly always a toasting of the bride and groom - punch or alcohol, take your pick. IF there is dancing, then the bride and groom start it off.

Answer 3

To be polite, you should always invite the officiant to the reception, but anyone else who is paid to be there (musicians, etc.) doesn't have to be invited to the reception.  

As far as bouquet toss, garter toss, etc., any of those traditions you don't like, simply don't have at your reception.  My sister didn't have bridesmaids/groomsmen, bouquet toss, etc., at her wedding, and it was fine.  My other sister did--and each wedding was a reflection of the couple getting married.  That's really what the reception is about--to celebrate the newlyweds, and should be done in a style that the newlyweds are comfortable with.  And if that means that Aunt Bertha wants a bouquet toss but you don't, and you're the bride, then Aunt Bertha is plum out of luck.  Good luck!!  ;-)

Answer 4

Invite the officiant.  That is pretty much expected.  You can skip the entrace, bride and groom first dance, maid of honor and best man speeches, fathers of bride and groom making introductions, wedding party dance, bouquet toss and garter belt sillyness, and the dollar dance (paying to dance with the bride and groom...I hate this more than anything).  

Today you can have your wedding how the two of you want it and no one will be too surprised.  If someone is really ticked off that something was "missed" blaim the DJ :)

Answer 5

We didn't have a bridal party or bride/groom entrance, no bouquet/garter toss, no toasts and no dancing.  The only traditional thing we kept was the cake cutting.  And our wedding was still fabulous.  Do what makes you feel comfortable.  

But, honestly, I also don't think you should eliminate something just because it's "tradition" or "common".  That seems the other extreme to me.  Take what parts you and your fiance like and leave what you don't.  We eliminated most things because of the time of day of our reception (11 am) and to make the most of the time we had.

It is proper etiquette, though, to invite the officiant.  This is probably the most important person participating in the wedding outside the bride/groom and wedding party.  He just made your wedding official, so the least you can do is feed him!  :0)

Answer 6

I think you should invite the officiant. Maybe just as a guest if you prefer. The violinist don't have to be there though, because you don't see them as often as u would see the officiant.

Anyway, you probably need some wedding favors for friends and relatives that come for your wedding too. Just a suggestion though ;)

http://www.aweddingfavorite.com/