Wedding reception w/o booze... how do I deal w/guests who want it ?

Question

I am the bride, my fiance and I have decided not to have booze at our reception. Neither of us drink. We went as far as to put it on our invitation. So many people are complaning about us not having it. I went to my family reunion and one of my uncles said that a bunch of them are gonna have it in their cars and drink it outside. My step dad is an acholic and I don't want him drunk there he will be embarresing. How do I get it through to people that there will be no booze ? My fiances family does not drink and they are all christians and my family is full of people who do drink. I don't wanna be mean to my family but they have really hurt my feelings b/c they wine about it. Its also in teh contract of the reception hall there is to be no booze. I have tried telling them that they don't listen. What should I do? I don't wanna spend my night looking out the windows trying to see who is drinking in the parking lot. I am not a babysitter . Please help

Answer 1

your family sounds so rude! You don't owe them alcohol, and the fact that there are recovering alcoholics in your family makes me think that they have no empathy. When they say they are bringing it, say it's in your contract and you could get some sort of penalty if there is drinking then leave it alone. They might just be all talk. You could also hire a security guard to patrol the parking lot so you don't have to baby-sit.

Answer 2

i had the same prob with my family, 1/2 is Irish, 1/2 are christian's and yeah........let me tell you how crazy that was lol i didn't want anything more than champian, but i knew that wouldn't happen (and my husbands friends like to drink....ALOT) so what i did, is i offered a cash bar that started at dinner and i only ordered a very small amont of liq so that when it was gone, that was that. it actually worked pretty well cause when i told everyone there was a cash bar, they didn't bring anything with them, i just neglected to say there was a very limited amount :)

Answer 3

Tell them that alcohol is not allowed at the reception hall.  Tell them that if they have to have alcohol, they can stay home.  Have someone you trust to "guard" the parking lot to keep them from drinking in their cars.  It's your day and if you don't want a bunch of drunks around, that's your choice.  If you are worried about hurting their feelings, think about the fact that they don't seem to care at all about YOUR feelings, or they wouldn't be trying to guilt you into letting them have the alcohol.  Good Luck!

Answer 4

You have told everyone that there will be no booze already - I can understand why you did that; but you have to realize that now that you have told people they are going to be more likely have alcohol out in their cars, etc. People celebrate at a wedding by drinking; it's not an unreasonable thing to expect.

However, it is your wedding and if you decide not to offer alcohol then that's fine. But you can never control people 100% - they are going to do what they want to do.

Answer 5

Hey...how about you tell them this "Its my wedding.. I am having it the way I want it.. So live with it. Value my opinions and choices, its not your wedding."

I feel bad about that part about embarrassed though... Just have someone who can control them/him watch out and if he does start to get out of hand have that guy/girl take care of it.

Answer 6

First of all this is your day and your guests should respect that you want no alcohol at your wedding.  I had the same issue--but people had just as much fun with out it there.  I think some people worry that they can't have fun unless they are drinking.  You can't stop them from going into their cars to drink though--they will do what they want.  I hope they respect your wishes and your day.  You have done all you can by telling them that there will be no alcohol and that it is in the contract to not have any.

Answer 7

i am SO glad you asked this question because I hadnt even thought about this being a problem and we are planning our wedding with NO alcohol. (i might change and have champagne for the toast ONLY but otherwise none)lol! i think you should just laugh it off when they say that but be firm. if they respect you they probably wont drink and are just messing with you. even an alcoholic wouldnt sneak alcohol in their car! (well my dad......)

Answer 8

You have no control over what others choose to have in their cars and how often they visit their cars....these are adults, dear and don't need you to babysit.......

....all you can do is inform the venue that people may do this...up to the venue if they extend a 'no drinking' policy to their parking lot.....other then that, your hands are tied....good luck

Answer 9

babygirl,

it is YOUR wedding

not your dads wedding or the rest of your family.

say :

if you plan to drink, then dont plan to attend because i will not have this cap at my wedding.

congrats on your wedding btw =]

Answer 10

we had an AA wedding. get real clear with these family members that it is not a joke. because my drinking friends were planning  to spike the punch...

Answer 11

Hire a security guard to patrol the parking lot and boot out the drinkers. if they insist on getting loaded in the parking lot there's nothing you can do

Answer 12

Tell the folks who are so desperate for booze to please decline your invitation to come to the reception.  

We aren't having any alcohol at our wedding except for a toast.    There are several recovering alcoholics in my guy's family who will be present and they get grape juice or something.

Answer 13

WOW, that's amazing that your family loves and cares for you so much that they can't leave their beer alone for 1 night out of respect for YOUR wishes.  What I would do is hire a security guard, with strict instructions to patrol the parking lot and to watch guests coming in.  If someone seems "under the weather" then they should be politely asked to leave.  If anyone's in the parking lot drinking, they will be asked to leave.  You have the right to not serve alcohol at your wedding--but you probably would've been better off not mentioning it at all, letting them assume there would be alcohol, and then they wouldn't have realized they couldn't get a drink until they got there and it was too late.  Of course, that's hindsight being 20/20.  Seriously, I'd hire a security guard, and tell your relatives that anyone caught drinking will be asked to leave--and that includes step parents.  If they can't go a few hours without a drink for you, that's just sadder than sad.

Answer 14

If they cant make it though 5 hours without a drink thats pretty bad!

Maybe someone can set up an after party with booze for that part of the family to go to.  So they can refrain from drinking during the reception.  Nothing you two would go to, jsut the guests.

You cna always look into hiring secuirty of some sort.  Keep people from drinking in teh parking lot and control those who might manange to drink too much.  Its a bit of money but a load off your mind.  And they can be very discreet.

Answer 15

YOU ARE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO CONTROL THE PARKING LOT.  iF THEY COME IN DRUNK  or out of control MAKE THEM LEAVE--- NO MATTER WHO IT IS--- THEY WILL UINDERSTAND AFTER THEY LEAVE AND SOBER UP!!!!---- JUST CONTINUE TO STICK WITH WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT NO ALCOHOL- INFORM THEM AGAIN THAT THERE IS TO BE NO DRINKING IN THE RECEPTION HAL--- TELL THEM YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM IF THEY GET PUT OUT.  BECAUSE YOU ALREADY FORWARNED THEM--- BUT THEY WILL BE DRINKING IN THE PARKING LOT- AND SOME MAY EVEN BRING THERE DRINKS IN-concealed--                  BUT YOU CANT GO AROUND SNIFFING CUPS--- PERHAPS YOU CAN HIRE A SECURITY GuaRD--- OR A BIG GUY FAMILY MEMBER--/ BOUNCER TO ASSIST WITH PATROLlING--- DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD----- THAT IS YOUR NIGHT--- AND TELL YOUR DAD TO LET YOU HAVE YOUR DAY

Answer 16

It's none of my business whether you people intend to have alcoholic drinks or not. I retired 20 years ago.

Answer 17

You are not going to be able to get through to these people.  They obviously have had no home training.  They are invited guests.  Invited guests don't complain about what is served.  They accept what there is graciously.  Perhaps you should rethink your guest list.

Congratulations.  :)

P.S.- If they're going to drink in the parking lot, don't worry about it.  Enjoy your reception.  Like you said, you aren't the babysitter.  If they can't go a few hours without alcohol, then they probably have more problems than you can fix.