Wedding vs. Justice of the Peace?

Question

DId anyone ever regret not having an actual wedding? I am getting married by the justice of the peace (no guests) and then enviting firends and family over for a small reception type thing afterward. Do you think I will regret not having an actual wedding?

Answer 1

The wedding curmudgeon speaks

Honey, If you really really want to go in debt up to your eyeballs putting on a huge spectacle that would make Emperor Caesar Augustus envious, just so you can show off your virginity (or feigned virginity) in front of a bunch of people who have much better places to be and things to do - then yeah, you'll regret it.

However, having an intimate ceremony and celebrating quietly with cherished friends and family will save you enough money to put a big down payment on a house.

Or pay down student loans, open a CD or something nice like that.

Answer 2

My parents got married by the JP and they had a reception afterwards. My cousin also did this. It saved money and was so less stressful. They don't regret doing it. Do what you want it's your wedding if you have doubts than you probably should have a wedding. You don't want to look back and say I wish I would have done this. Wedding don't have to be expensive or stressful you just make them very simple. Get married on the beach or outside in a park garden area. Better yet maybe a wedding chapel you coule rent for a hour and have a few guests. Simple and sweet! Good Luck and Congrat's!

Answer 3

Since when did having Justice of the Peace not count as a wedding or mean that you have to no guests? We had a JP at our wedding, with 150+ guests. There are also many people on here who have only had JP weddings, does that mean they did not have a "real" wedding?

If you have the mindset that you are not having an actual wedding, then of course you will regret it.

Answer 4

Maybe if you're having 2nd thoughts or even scared you'll regret it, have a vow renewel on your 1 yr anniversary. Or maybe just throw a huge bash/reception afterwards.

Answer 5

That IS an actual wedding! Its just a small one. You can make it memorable whether its large or small.

Answer 6

If you guys are having your parents there only when you get married than thats okay.

Answer 7

I did that when my husband & I married because 1) it was a second marriage for both of us and seemed in better taste and 2) we were and still are in our fifties so it also seemed age appropriate....

We totalled 20...the judge (our officiate at the Town Hall wedding) gave us lee-way for up to 100 people, either indoors or out (they have a beautiful outdoor gazebo so on a beautiful autumn day we made use of that..the pix are lovely for it, too.....and we had the traditional wedding vows read...the 'dearly beloved we are gathered here today'...it lasted about 15 minutes, the judge even said a little piece about how wonderful it was for two people to find each other at our ages.....he was certainly right! We recieved a very beautiful white & silver embossed booklet with our wedding vows inside..the very one the judge used....and he took and filed our wedding license, all signed & witnessed, saving us the need to mail it,,,and we were able the very next day to pick up our Certificate of Marriage...really cool....besides it was neat to go back there the next day to get the certificate while memories of our wedding were still so fresh in our minds...

then my sister donated her home (and use of a deep cranberry red tablecloth-matched my outfit) for a simple cold buffet meal...I took care of the paperwear/plasticwear to save her clean up, and the foods/drinks. We ordered assoted rolls,sliced cheese & sandwich meat platters, fruit platter, veggie platter, deviled eggs, condiment platter, platter with assorted pickles & olives, made several salads myself (macaroni, potato, cole slaw, and tossed greens), had chips & dips, & salsas, a small cheese platter with crackers,..and dessert was a beautiful carrot cake with cream cheese icing, three tiers, that my second eldest daughter made for us (she learned cake decorating in my bakery, I'm a retired baker)..and a friend of mine who owns an italian bakery made up a mini italian pastry tray to go along with the cake...we bought sodas, beer, champagne & juices, extra coffee, tea & assorted favored creamers & and extra gal of milk....and a box of garbage bags! lol...

Granted, we just sat and talked,ate and ya know what? we didn;t miss all the dancing, the bouquet & garter toss, etc.........and dispite that it felt like a wedding....two relatives uploaded the pix taken on their P.C and we were able to see all the pix that day..and give orders for our own C'D's (complements of my BIL)......

No regrets...and it felt like a wedding Hon, because it was.

..and there was no muss, no fuss, and absolutely no drama..........and if you want some tips or an outline on exactly how to do it, and do it cost effectively, just ask and I'll post it or e-mail it to you....I personally think it's the way to go...especially since I had the big white fancy expensive chruch reception wedding in my 20's...now when I think of the monies spent, even then! Good Luck....

Edit: okay....here goes, really easy..and this is for anyone interested.

We ended up spending a little under 2,000.00...and I'm including everything....

My outfit I got at Macy's..it was a three piece beaded formal chiffon pants suit....in cranberry-garnet red....marked down to 150, originally 300.00....and I can wear it again!

My guy already had a nice suit..he bought a new dress shirt & shoes.

The officiate's fee was 100.00....about average.

Marriage license fees vary-consult your local town hall.

Since we threw it together in 4 weeks we checked out Walmart for wedding bands....we both wanted plain yellow gold..and found them in our sizes already there....mine was 80.00 and his was 100.00-we opted for 10k because it's tougher & we knew we'd get 'fancier going out bands' at a latter date.

Party supplies I got at our local Party Store...vast ammount of colors and designs from traditonal wedding fare to mix  match solids...I went with cream colored 'silverware' & plastic hot/cold cups.....the plates and napkins had an autumn design in all fall colors-very pretty...I even got 'crystal' serving bowels & platters,serving spoons even  champagne flutes,it all cost around100 bucks.

We invited by word of mouth...not enough time for invites-but if you have more time, pre-printed invites from party stores are lovely, believe it or not.

I have four kids...he has no children and very few family members left.....his best friend was best man....my four kids (three girls & a boy) were our 'attendants'..I told them wear whatever thay wished, but no jeans & tees, please.

As far as food....I made macaroni salad, potato salad, a toss mixed greens salad, and cole slaw. Ay my local grocery store I hit the deli and asked for their party brochure...from that I selected the following platters...deviled eggs, cheeses, deli cold cuts, a raw veggie & dip platter, fresh fruit platter-they offered condiment platter ( mayo, mustards, etc), pickle & olive platter, even one with pre-sliced onions, tomatoes and shredded lettuce..cool! I then hoped over to the bakery where I ordered rolls and sliced breads (pump & rye) and met up with my pastry friend (she worked there part-time until her bakery was off and running) and ordered a mini italian tray from her.....this I did a week before after making sure it was plenty of time....oh, the day of pick up is when I got chips,crackers,salsa,beverages & dips-went with pre-made to save time..

If my one daughter hadn't offered to make our wedding cake as her gift I would have ordered a sheet cake at the same bakery dept..the cakes taste really good and a nice one would have cost me under 100 easy..........they would have used my wedding topper...here again I got it at the party store for 30.00- a pair of ivory satin bells suspended in lace covered heart shaped 'archway'..

Then since the store had a floral dept...yup, you guessed it...got button holes for my guy, his best man, and my son (mini cala lillies) Shoulder corsages for my three daughters (callas, too), and a pink & white corsage in orchids & roses for my Mom (not my colors but she loves pink and I figured that would be best-it was) My bouquet was a simple long stemed bundle of asian lillies in autumn colors, cream colored callas, and brown mini -cat tails wrapped in a garnet red ribbon....ran about 80.00....

I arranged for all to be ready for 10:00 morning pick-up, the day off...the ceremony was schedualed for 1;00 pm. That way everything would be fresh and I was able to run all the food over to my sister's right from the store....with my guy's help.

As far as a honeymoon, we decided to book a two night stay at a nice local hotel and spend the daysjust doing whatever came to mind..then since I owned a home at that time we finished out the rest of the week there..he had to return to Tn tho, while I stayed behind to sell the home, pack up, and wrap up loose ends with my job before i could join him. We decided to save the big trip for an upcoming anniversary...a cross country coast to coast Amtract train ride.....first class all the way..lol..

Hope this helps....and if you compile a list, make a schedual and follow it, it'll go smoothly...good luck.

The wedding day went as smooth as glass.....both my Mom, my daughters, and my sister have really nice digtital cameras, got really nice shots....burned onto a CD thanks to my BIL......

It was a nice intimate gathering...no rush, no 'structured' entertainment...laid back and a lot of fun....it certainly was cost effective and I don;t regret doing it that way as it had a very 'family' feel.....hope this helps.....good luck.

Answer 8

If having a wedding is important to you then, yes you will regret it. I know I would be sad to have a JP wedding, but that's me. I really wanted our families there. Lots of people don't feel the same as I do about it, though.

Answer 9

However you choose to get married is still your wedding. What you explain IS an actual wedding! It's just making a choice.

Answer 10

Sounds like you already do. Weddings do cost a lot. I'm sure you will be fine with your practical decision. :)

Answer 11

If you are getting people together to celebrate, how much more difficult would it be to get an officiant to come to the gathering too & perform a ceremony for all to witness?

All you need is a focal point for the ceremony & a few chairs for any of the older people that can't stand.

These types of wedding are very personal,, family & friends don't feel cheated & most couples are glad they opted for this rather than a 5 minute civil ceremony.

To find an officiant:

Type into your search engine this--your

citystateweddingofficiant

There will be ones in your area to come up. If you go to the bridal sites, visit the officiant's web site. Those bridal sites (wedplan, knot,) make vendors & officiants pay for your contact info & some just can't/won't do it.

Also you can contact AAWO--they have ALL kinds of officiants from Rabbis to Humanisits to Pagan Priestesses.

I am a nondenominational minister therefore I am free to perform non-religious ceremonies as I'm not bound by any particular creed or dogma.

Answer 12

my husband and i got married at the courthouse. we had close friends and family with us, maybe about 15 people total? Then  all went to our house for food and drinks.

i dont regret it at all. only thing that mattered to me was getting married.

Answer 13

If you're feeling some regret already, you probably will someday. We did our civil ceremony already, and we're having a formal ceremony in the fall. That should take care of any regrets. The only regrets I'LL have are if we spend too much! ;)

Answer 14

We are having a very small private ceremony (just immediate family, and only because they really really want to be there) for a lot of reasons:

~We're both uncomfortable with the idea of such an intimate ceremony in front of 200 people

~If such a planned day is also the day of our wedding, I'd be a nervous wreck from all the anticipation and I probably wouldn't enjoy myself

~We're a little tired of the huge thing weddings have become and are simple people who just love hanging out with friends

~If the party is NOT the same thing as our wedding, we can just enjoy ourselves and anything can go wrong without our worrying

Then we're having a huge bash where everyone is invited and we'll just have a fun day of food, chatting, and perhaps a cake decorating contest. :)  We're asking people to bring a food item instead of a gift.  We may have 100-200 people at the party, so everyone will still get to enjoy the moment with us, but we won't have any of the discomfort if the ceremony happened the same day as well.

We are thrilled about it, so I don't foresee any regrets.   What are your REASONS for the small ceremony?