Welsh speakers, opinions please?

Question

My friend has written a poem in Welsh to read out at my wedding. Do you like it?

"Tra bod y mor yn disglair

Tra bod y mor yn glas

Tra bod yr adar yn canu

tra bod yr adar yn nythu

tra bod ein cariad yn llawn daioni

fydd eich cariad yn tragwyddol"

I think its beautiful (she used simple Welsh as my Welsh is very basic lol!)

Answer 1

Beautiful, especially as corrected by Lisa-Jay, Rolyn ddim am ildio (I loved the bardic efforts of Cymro Bach too), but I wonder whether "cariad yn llawn daioni" should more logically be "calonnau yn llawn daioni" because love is of itself good (God is love) and what you are really looking for is hearts which are full of goodness.

Every good wish and have a beautiful day and a life full of happiness.

Answer 2

Tra bod y môr yn ddisglair

Tra bod y môr yn las

Tra bod yr adar yn canu

Tra bod yr adar yn nythu

Tra bod eich cariad yn llawn daioni

Bydd eich cariad yn dragwyddol.

That is the language corrected for you (a few wrong mutations and basic errors).

I'm no poet so I can't make suggestions for improving the poem.

Pob lwc â'ch priodas, mwynhewch y diwrnod.

Answer 3

Hyfryd a Phob lwc gyda'r priodas, A gyda'ch mab roeddech yn sôn am ynghynt.

Beautiful and All the best with the Wedding, And with your son who you were on about before.

I however am a bit creative and have changed it a bit if you like it keep it, if you don't well it's your wedding, all the best eitherway .

Tra bod y môr yn ddisglair

Tra bod y môr yn las

Tra bod yr adar yn canu

Mewn cynghanedd eich priodas

Tra bod yr adar yn nythu

Yn creu hafod mwyn atynnol

Tra bod eich cariad yn llawn daioni

Bydd eich cariad yn dragwyddol.

That flows alot more and adds more meaning

It means

Whilst the sea is shiny

Whilst the sea is blue

Whilst the birds sing

In the harmony of your wedding

Whilst the birds nest

Making a gentle attractive summer dwelling (I,e their nest)

Whilst your love is full of bounty/goodness

Your Love will be eternal.

Mae e lan i chi

It's up to you

Ond Pob lwc at eich dyfodol,

But All the best with your future.

Answer 4

can i suggest some treigladau so that it sound better

tra bod y mor yn ddisglair

tra bod y mor yn las

tra bod yr adar yn canu

tra bod yr adar yn nythu

tra bod eich cariad yn llawn daioni (ein is ours not yours so it wouldn't make sense)

bydd eich cariad yn dragwyddol

it's very nice and sweet

hyfryd

pob lwc i'r briodas