Were you adopted and Have an older Sibling ?

Question

How do you feel about ?

When did you find that you had a older sibling?

Do you think that having a older sibling is more painful than a younger one, ie The first child was kept but the second child you were given up ?

Personally I could always understand that there may be younger siblings, as in the 60's adoption was fairly high in the UK BSE Era etc....but you could have smacked me in the mouth and drove a knife through my heart when I found at age 31 that I had a OLDER Sibling 2 .5yrs older than me

And then 10 years later I found out that my adoptive parents knew from the beginning that I had a older sister...and never told me...even when I used to constantly as a child say I wish I had a sister...

Anyone else in this situation ? how did you find out ?

Also for any Aparents out there in this situation please dont keep that from your child

Eventually the Truth ALWAYS comes out..no matter what people think..

Answer 1

The child I relinquished has an older sis I am raising.  Before you all bash me, I will tell you since I was already raising a child, I KNEW how hard it would be to raise two and I knew that, for myself, I could not do it.  Yes, she has an older sis.  Her parents and I exchange photos so both the girls will know of one another and we are all very open keeping the girls in contact.

***Wow, 31.....I can understand your shock.  I understand that there will be pain and anger from both my girls, and I am prepared for that.  Which is why her parents and I work so hard to keep them a part of each others lives.  They "talk" to one another via webcam (Z babbles, Michelle tells her she's funny) : )  We do try as hard as possible.  They live on the other side of the state, so visits are almost out of the question for the time being.  But we're all working on it!

Answer 2

no but my older sibling and i are different sometimes i think one of was adopted

Answer 3

As a LDA (Late Discovery Adoptee), I found out through research that I have an older and younger sister.  I am still in the process of getting the info that I need on my adoption.  But it does make you wonder why one child was adopted after the  first was kept.

Answer 4

Thank you for re posting this question.  I am very interested to see the answers.  

My daughter is the 4th child.  her 3 siblings are all with her bio mom.  although they haven't always been just at this moment.  her sister is only 18 months older than she is and her new brother is only 18 months younger than she is.

while i was happy for her biological mother for her pregnancy, i just have this pit in my stomach about how it's going to effect my daughter.  i plan on being 100% truthful with her and she's going to have contact with her bio family growing up.  I just can't begin to know how to explain to her why she was placed and her other 4 siblings weren't.  3 being older and 1 younger.  I suppose that's for  her other mother to explain, but as her mother also i want to protect her from hurt and i see this as nothing but hurt for her.

again thank you for re posting i really look forward to the responses.

Answer 5

I know that I'm not supposed to answer, as I'm not an adoptee, but...

When we found our son's mom, she told us that he had an older sister already adopted to the US.  (They are from Asia).  I contacted the orphanage, who gave me the name of the agency that handled the adoption. The agency contacted the adoptive parents and got word back to me that the parents want nothing to do with us.

My heart was broken for our son. He does know that he has an older sister and it makes him very unhappy to not have contact, but we had to tell him rather than lie to him.  In eight more years, she'll be eighteen and then we will see what we can do to try again. The agency that handled her adoption has gone out of business, which complicates things. Also, I'm willing to bet her parents won't tell her she's got a brother here, so she might not search at all, thinking her parents are in Asia and too hard to trace.  Still, we'll do everything we can to help our son reunite with his sister as soon as possible.

Answer 6

i have both..i was adopted with my younger brother..we were the easiest to place my two older brothers and older sister were adopted together...i was 2 and a half my youngest brother was 6 months old..my oldest brother was 10 my sister was 6 my other brother was 4 and a half..i saw them in november of 1974 i could always remember what they were wearing how their hair was cut...used to drive my adopted mother crazy...i was adopted in june of 1975..i never told my younger brother until i was 28 ish..if it werent for me he would never have needed to be told he was adopted..to him it doesnt matter..our adopted parents were c**p he will tell you this..but he is fine with it..he has a relationship with both of them..me on the other hand have not for over ten years...i cant stand them...but last year when i hired someone to find my siblings and needed to find our mothers grave..he helped me..without him i would never have found it..he has not met the oldest brother or our sister...something came up and he was unable too..it is something he wants to do in the future for me...but my siblings that i didnt have as i grew up..noone had to tell me..i just knew..for a while in my early twenties i thought perhaps i had made them up...but then i would learn bits and pieces about who i was and where i came from and i knew they were real..it was just odd..